Beyond

61

*Milan

After I told them I was pregnant, I got up, went into the guest room , and closed the door. I had been laying in bed until then, it's been about 4 hours now.

I decided to get out the bed and go to the beach. I freshened up and put on a bikini. I looked in the mirror. I had a very small pudge at the bottom. It wasn't noticeable to people but I could tell. After getting done, I went out the back door. I just didn't wanna face them right now.

I found me a beach chair in the shade and laid on it. I sighed as my mind became occupied.

I can't believe I let her in like that. I just had missed her so much and it felt good to be touched by her again. I didn't think I was going to get pregnant. I know babies are miracles, but I'm not ready to become a mother. Not only that but Zion haven't made this any better. She haven't once contacted me about anything.

I'm not in the right state to be a mom. I'm not ready. I wanted to be stable. Mentally stable, financially stable, emotionally stable, and relationship stable. I just want things to be set and stoned before having a child.

I fell for Zion and she doesn't care about me. I really thought we were going to become something. Move further than just begin affection in my apartment or begin secretive. I hate that she let what Titus said make her act this way towards me.

Zion was really my escape. From everything I was going through with my mom.

My protector. Physically and how safe I felt in her arm or whenever I was around her.

I just hate how it had to end.

_____
I was sitting for about 45 minutes just watching the water before they sat beside me.

"How you feeling??" Mom asked

"Better..." I said still looking at the water

It was silent for a few seconds.

"Milan we're so sorry. We know that this is surprising and we don't know if you'll accept it. But Milan we really love each other. We—..." Mom started but I cut her off

"Mom I don't care about you two begin together. I'm upset at the fact that you didn't tell me. Not only that but you got married and I didn't know. You guys are having a baby together and neither of you said anything. Y'all choose not to tell me nothing..." I said finally looking at them

"Milan we thought you wouldn't accept
us..." Melody said looking at me

"So y'all decided to not tell me..." I said

They nodded.

"How could I not accept y'all. The two people I love the most found love in each other, that's great..." I said

"We're so sorry Milan..." Mom said and Melody nodded

I nodded while looking at them.

"How long??" I asked

"Since you were 15..." Melody said

"So 6 years??" I asked looking at them

Mom looked down while nodding. Melody was looking at me.

"Have y'all found the gender of the baby??" I asked

"Not yet..." Mom said

"Well I'm doing the gender reveal..." I said looking at them

They looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back. The both got up and hugged me. I hugged them back. They sat back down and looked at me. I knew the questions about me were coming.

"What happened??" Mom asked

"I was vulnerable for a person who could care less about me right now. I feel so stupid cuz how could I let something like this even happen..." I said

"Is it Titus's??" Melody asked

"Eww, no..." I said making her chuckle

"Who is it??" Mom asked

"When I say the name don't look at me crazy..." I said

They both nodded.

"It's Zion's..." I said

"Who's Zion??" Melody asked

"The security guard I hired for her..." Mom said

"Ain't that's a woman?!" Melody asked

"Yeah, so how??" Mom asked

"Zion is intersex..." I said

"What's that??" Mom asked

"A woman with a penis..." I said

"So she got penis??" Melody asked

"Yes..." I said

"How did all of this start??" Mom asked

"One night after going out, we were both drinking, got tipsy, and it just happened. We continued and I started falling for her, I think I even love her. But the night of the party, of course I rode with Titus. We were talking and I described my dress that was going to wear. The dress that Zion bought. He was outside when Zion was outside and he was telling his boys he tore the dress off me and we had sex. Which was not true. I ripped my dress tryna put it on cuz I should've went a size up. But she believed him. She stopped talking to me and that's when she quit. One night she came to fix my sink and it happened. Weeks later I found out I was pregnant..." I said looking at the sunset

"Have you told her??" Melody asked and I nodded

"What she say??" Mom asked

"She doesn't believe me. She think it's
Titus's..." I said softly

Tears filled my eyes but I blinked them away. I felt a hand on my arm.

"I'm so sorry this is happening to you
honey..." Mom said

Melody came to sit on the other side of me.

"How you feel??" Mom asked

"I just didn't think she'll do me like that. She haven't even called me to talk or anything. It's just hard..." I said

"Are you ready to become a mother??" Mom asked

"Mom I don't think I am. I'm not even where I wanna be in life right now. Having a baby at this point of my life, I'm not ready..." I said truthfully

"Sweetie we're sorry that this is happening. We can only go from here. Whatever you choose to do, we are supporting you..." Melody said rubbing my other arm

"I love you guys so much..." I said looking at them

"We love you too..." they both said hugging me