Beyond

121

*Milan

Why would she even think that I want to have a baby with her after what she pulled with the first one. I be got damn if I go through that again.

I walked down to Mom's room and knocked on her door.

"Who is it??" She instantly answered

"It's me mom..." I said

It took a few then she opened the door. She moved to the side and I walked in.

"Wassup??" She asked closing the door

"Nothing..." I said falling back on her bed with a groan
"What's wrong sweetie??"

"You know Zion had the nerve to say something to me about a baby. Mom after what she did, how could she say anything about a baby. Especially to me..." I said

"What!!" She said
"What happened??"

"After our nap, I went to the bathroom and seen that Zion was in a daze. When she finally came to so I was asked her what was on her mind, but she was saying nothing. I kept asking and she told me she'd been having dreams of us a baby. Like how can you even think about having a baby with me. I had a fucking abortion, because of you..." I said look at her
"Then she gone ask me would I have a baby with her..."

"What you say??" Mom asked

"I said no..." I said

"So you'll never want to have kids, not even in the future??" She asked

"In the future maybe, but right now hell no..." I said

"Did you say that to her??" Mom asked

"I said I told her No..." I said

"So you told her you never wanna have a child with her??" Mom asked

"I was just talking about now..." I said

"But you didn't communicate that with her. You didn't communicate correctly, she probably think you don't want a baby with her at all..." she said

"That's not what I was trying to say..." I said

"Sweetie, when it comes to having a healthy relationship you must communicate. When you told her no, you supposed to had verified that you was talking about right now not in the future..." she said

"But imagine how I feel about her bringing that up to me when she knew what she did to me..." I said

"Didn't y'all talk about the situation??" She asked

"Yeah..." I said

"Didn't she apologize??"

"Yea..."

"Didn't you forgive her??"

"Yes..."

"So why did you bring it back up??" She asked

"Cuz I not gone forget how she did me..." I said

"And I understand that. But every time y'all have a conversation like that you can't just keep throwing that in her face when you say you forgave her. I know that you went through something horrible and it had a huge impact on your life. But, it's not right to throw it in her face whenever y'all conversation goes there. This is the 2nd time you've done that. I'm not trying to down play your feelings cuz I know how bad you were hurting, I witnessed it. But, imagine how she feels..." mom said looking at me

I was quiet, because I didn't think of it in that aspect. I wasn't thinking about her when I said what I said. I seen the hurt in her face, but I felt my hurt.

But she was hurt too. When we finally talked about the situation, she cried and begged me to forgive her. She was hurt and I didn't see it. I didn't see it at all. What I fail to realize is that, she lost a part of her too.

"You can stay in here for as long as you want. Think about it. I'm bout to go to the balcony and talk to Melody about something..." she said getting out the bed

She walked out to the balcony and closed the door.

I let out a sigh and rubbed through my hair. I was thinking and ends up falling asleep.

___________

I woke up to mom coming out the shower.

"You're finally up..." she said tying up her robe

"Yeah..." I said stretching

"You staying with me tonight or going back to your  room??" She asked

"I don't know..." I said shrugging my shoulders

"Well you're welcomed to stay..." she said sitting at the end of the bed with a Shea butter

"How's Melody and King??" I asked

"They are fine. He's now tryna crawl..." she said

"Already..." I said looking at her shockingly

"Yes..." she said smiling

"Oh no mom. Y'all gotta stop him..." I said making her laugh
"He's gone be a teenager before we know it..."
"OH MY GOD! Mom I'm getting old..."

"Milan..." she said looking at me with a stale face
"You and Melody are so dramatic. He's growing up. And you might be getting old..."

I gasped and she laughed at me.

"I'm just kidding..." she smiling
"He's not even one yet, y'all be fine..."

For the next hour and a half, she was showing me pictures and videos of him. We were watching tv for another 2 hours, mom started to get sleepy.

"You going to check on Zion??" Mom asked looking at me

I shrugged my shoulder.

"Why??" I asked

"She limited to things she can do and she may need you help with stuff..." mom said

"If she needed me she would've called your phone..." I said

"You're so stubborn..." she said

I sighed.

I sat there for another 30 mins deciding if I wanted to go back or not. I decided to go.

"I'm bout to go back mom..." I said looking at her

She was half sleep so what she said had nun to do with what I said. I left out, but not before getting her up to lock her door.

I went down the hall and went to our room. I still had the keycard in my pocket. I opened the door and it was dark but the tv was on. I closed the door, locked it, and went in. I seen Zion laid across the bed. I seen the pain pill bottle on the table with the lid off. I went up and grabbed the pill bottle. It was empty.

My mind started going crazy and my heart was pounding out my chest.