Chapter 16

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Its been two days now since I've talked to the Cullen's

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Its been two days now since I've talked to the Cullen's. Peter has made sure to keep the clear of me but I can't stay away from Jasper anymore.

"Hey Peter." I say getting his attention while driving to school.

"Yeah snow?"

"Would you care if I had Jasper come home with us today after school so him and I can talk?"

"Snow, of course. You don't have to ask me." He says smiling.

When we get to school I still walk close to Peter and ignore the Cullen's. I'm waiting in first period for class to start when Jasper takes his seat. He doesn't say anything and just gets his stuff out. I take a deep breath and look at him. When his eyes meet mine I can see the sadness in them from the distance I put between us.

"Hey umm after school can you come back to my place with me? So we can talk maybe?" I say not sounding very confident.

"Yeah actually that sounds nice. You doing okay now?" He asks softly

"Yeah and sorry for the distance." I tell him.

"Hey it's okay I understand." He says placing a hand on my cheek stroking it softly.

Soon class started and it seemed to fly by just like the rest of the day. As school finished up, I saw Jasper waiting by my locker for me. We head out to the jeep and see Peter waiting for us. Jasper doesn't even acknowledge his family and gets in the jeep with us and we head home.

After we get home, Peter gives us some privacy and Jasper and I go into the living room. Once we sit down I take a deep breath and get started talking to him.
"Jasper, I'm sorry I shut you out for 3 days. It was just a lot. I struggle with nightmares and depression from everything that happened. And when Rosalie started calling me a monster and all it brought up more memories and pain sending me in a downward spiral of silence and depression. I hardly talked to anyone. And if I did it was maybe for 5 minutes. I had to text Tony to send more medication for me because of how bad everything was getting. None of this was your fault Jasper. That night you opened up to me about your story and instead of comforting you through it I shut you out. I'm really sorry if I've done anything to hurt you, make you sad, or anything else." I say as a tear rolls down my cheek.

Jasper pulls me up onto him and at first I didn't realize I was straddling him but when I noticed I started blushing. He placed his hand on my cheek wiping away the tears. "Payton, it's okay. I don't blame you for shutting down after what happened. All I care about is you, and us. Okay? I'll do whatever I can to help you through your dark moments or thoughts. I literally do not sleep so if you wake up from a nightmare call me or text me. I'll help any way that I can okay?" He says. I just nod my head leaning my cheek into his hand more.

"Can I do something?" He asked looking into my eyes. I just nod my head still not trusting my voice. Jaspers hand is still on my cheek and he slowly pulls me down to him and leans in connecting our lips together softly.

His lips oddly tasted like honey. Something I could get used to. I slid my hands up and around his neck while he deepened the kiss. He kept it soft, gentle, and a little possessive. It was nice. My first kiss and it's with my soulmate.

Soon we pull apart placing our heads together. I'm catching my breath and open my eyes to meet his beautiful golden orbs. "Wow, that was just wow." I say and he chuckles giving me a half smirk.

"Never had a kiss like that before darling?" He asked.

"I uhh never had a kiss at all before." I says quietly.

"Wait was that your first?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I say in a soft whisper.

"Well I'm glad I'm your first." He says.

We ended up cuddling most of the evening until he had to go and hunt with his family. Peter and I headed to the pack house. We've started having family dinners with them.

Sam and Emily took Peter and I under their wings. They've become a second set of parents to us. It's nice having them around. Emily helps me with my insecurities, while sam encourages me. Every now and then big bad alpha turned into gentle loving father figure.

Once dinner was over Emily made her and I some tea. "can I tell you something Emily?"

"Of course you can sweetie."

"I had my first kiss today." I said mumbling.

"I'm sorry I couldn't hear you."

"I had my first kiss today." I said a little louder. I look up and see her eyes about to pop out of her head.

"He kissed you?"

"Yea he did. Really good too." I said with a blush and giggle. "He even asked permission first instead of just doing it." I tell her.

"Wow he really is a southern gentleman."

"I'm still scared though. What happens if he gets to a place where he has a problem with what I've done? Or doesn't want to be with me anymore?"

"Sweetheart, he would be stupid to leave you and not understand what you went through. Just open your heart to the bond." She says.

We kept talking for a little bit but I wanted to talk to sam about this too.
"Hey Sam do you have a few minutes I could steal you away and talk?" I asked him.

"Yeah of course come on Snow."

We head outside away from everyone else. "You okay? What's going on?" He asked.

"Sam, I really value your opinion. Since I've been here you've become a father figure to me in many ways. Jasper kissed me today. It was my first kiss and it was nice. But I'm scared. Like I told Emily I've never done anything like this before. How do I open my heart up?" I ask him.

He pulls me into a hug holding me close. "Snow, soulmates are suppose to be a great thing. Not everyone has them. A soulmate is hand picked perfectly for you to help strengthen your weakness. It goes both way. Plus, Jasper isn't hydra Snow. He won't take advantage of you, he won't use you like they did, and he will protect you. So trust in him that he will always be there for you. Trust the bond sweetheart okay?" He says still holding me. "You can always come talk to me. I don't care if he is a vampire. To me he is your soulmate and I will help you and listen any way that I can."

"Thank you Sam" I say squeezing him tighter.

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