His Winter Assassin

Chapter 36

It has been 6 months since we have left and I am not doing any better. I have fully regretted what I have done to Payton. The words I said, the way I broke her, I regret it all and just wish I had her back.

Alice cannot see her future. Since we left, Payton has blocked Alice out knowing she would try and watch her. Rosalie still hasn't talked to me much either. I just want to talk to Payton.

Alice told me that Bella has been trying to contact us in any way she could think of, and then there is nothing from Payton. Just radio silence. I wonder what would happen if I messaged her.

Would she respond? Would she be happy? Could I win her back? There are so many thoughts going through my head.
I have also come to a point of hating Edward, I cannot believe I let him lead me into thinking this was for the best when he fucking left the rest of us to get over Bella. She wasn't even his actual mate just a blood bag! I ruined everything because of him.

So I decide I am going to try and reach out. I grab my phone and start to text her.
"Hey Payton I know that I haven't talked to you or tried to reach out since I left and I know that's it's my fault but I want to tell you that I am so terribly sorry for what I said to you and how I ended it I know I could have came back a month in but I was so scared that you would hate me or just up and not take me back. I miss you more than anything and I will forever be sorry for what i have done to us and you my darlin'."

Well now the message is sent and there is nothing else I can do. It is up to her now.

Loki and I have been in La Push for 3 weeks now. We are currently outside of mom and dads house working on some magic. While we were working I heard my phone go off.
"Hey mischief can you see who that was?" I asked while working on my ice powers. I notice him pick the phone up but he doesn't respond he just looks at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Uh he texted you." Loki said.

He texted me? After all this time he is now just reaching out when he has had 6 months to try and make things right. Why now? Why?

I walk over to loki and take my phone and read the message. My darlin such a load of bullshit. I decide to text back,

"After 6 months you now decide to reach out. Things could have been different if you would've done this sooner. Maybe. I don't really know. And if I am being honest I don't really know if you are sorry for what you said or if you even miss me. I have spent months repeating the words you said to me especially the line "maria wasn't even as much of a monster as you." That fucking broke me jasper. You do not get to text me after all this time and say you are sorry or miss me. Because if you really loved me you wouldn't have left, you wouldn't have said those things. You would have fought for us. But you didn't. And I wasn't good enough. So I am no longer your darlin'."

I sent the text while tears were rolling down my cheeks. Loki looks at what I sent and is proud of me. But then he pulls me close and holds me while I sob. It was hard saying those words because deep down I am still madly in love with him, but he is not with me.

After I had sent the message I started pacing. Will she respond? Will everything be okay? Is it all completely ruined? What is going to happen?

I continued pacing for a while and then I hear my phone go off. I pick it up and see that it is a text from her. I get a little excited until I start to read it. And then it crushes me.

She doesn't believe that I am sorry, doesn't believe that I miss her, and she brought up the line of me comparing her to Maria. Fuck. I ruined everything. I do not even know if I will ever get her back. But I will have to try everything that I can. But right now all I can do is just cry knowing I broke the one person who actually loved me and major for who we are.

I eventually pulled myself together to go inside and see Bella is back here with jacob. We can never catch a fucking break with this bitch around.
"You need to use your powers to protect me. The vampire is after me so I need all the protection."

"No" I tell her.

"No why no?"

"Simple, I do not care about you. I do not care the red head wants to kill you. If I am being honest I want to kill you sometimes because you give me such a headache. I know Edward and Jacob have told you what I can do, so I would watch myself if I were you. You never know I could just snap at any moment and BANG! You are dead." I say with a evil smile on my face.

"You really are a monster"

"Oh honey, I know. I embrace her now. So run along with your whipped puppy and complain to him. Because he cannot make me do shit either." I say coldly.

Bella starts to back away slowly and grabs jacob and leaves the house.
"Damn snow, I don't mean this in a bad way but you are such a bitch!" Paul says. "You do not put up with shit anymore and don't let it affect you." He finishes saying.

I let out a dry chuckle "yea getting your heart ripped out will really turn you into a heartless cold bitch."

We were all settled down when we heard vehicles pull up. I look outside and see some of the team. What is going on.
"Hey kid, we came to visit." Tony said.

"Yeah I call bullshit on that."

"Okay fine, you are needed for a solo mission. But we did come and visit for a little bit while you are gone and once you come back." He said.

"Fine send me the files. When do I leave?"

"Tomorrow."

The rest of the evening we hung out as a team and pack. It was kind nice but I slowly started slipping into some depressive thoughts thinking about jaspers text.

Why now.