His Winter Assassin

Chapter 29

It's been two months since we've left. I am a mess. I cannot believe I did this to payton. To us. I noticed a pain starting in my chest. I knew it was the side effects of the mate bond.

I haven't talked much to the family. Rose and I have still been off since we left. I finally bring myself to hunt. When I get back Alice stops me while everyone else is around.

"Hey Jasper. How are you?" She asked.

"In pain." I say. Then I heard a scoff. I look up and see Rosalie.

"Rose not now." Emmett says.

"No. I'm tired of this shit. You don't get to be in pain after what you did to her. You didn't have to let Edward make your decision for you to leave her. Hell you could've asked her to come with us and she could go home and visit! DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?! DID YOU!!! She's graduated and doesn't have to worry about school. But you all decided to once again let the golden child Edward make decisions for this coven and I am sick of it. Payton has done so much for all of us especially you Jasper. She made sure everyday to make you feel loved, important and seen. She also made sure to help you control your thirst and listened to you when you talked about your struggle. She even spent hours, days, and months, to find a permanent solution spell to help your blood lust. She opened her heart to you after the entire pack encouraged her to open up to love. She told you everything that happened and how she felt. She trusted you with her heart all for you to rip it out and throw it in her face and compare her to Maria! MARIA!! She is far worse of a monster than what Payton ever thought about being. Payton never used you for your abilities and she never manipulated you. Jasper she desperately loved you." Rose states.

Venom tears start to pull in my eyes as she was talking. I know she was right.
"Rose I know I messed up okay. At the time I really thought I was doing the right thing."

"No Jasper. Once again you let someone manipulate you into thinking you were dangerous. When in reality you were the least dangerous with Payton around. Edward only made you feel and think you were dangerous because of his mistake to let a blood bag come around that wasn't a mate. And the rest of you didn't help either. Especially you Carlisle and Esme. You kept encouraging and supporting him to having her around and look what it has cost us." Rose says and walks away.

The rest of us just sit in the living room not saying anything. I started thinking more about what Rose said. And everything she said was true. Edward wanted us all to leave and he just left us to go out on his own. I could've stayed back. I could've asked her to come with me. But I did neither of those things. I just broke her heart instead. She was the love of my life and still is yet I hurt the one person that believed I wasn't a monster and I turned around saying it was her.

After they left Bella went into a stage of depression. Charlie had called me wanted to try and help her. I sort of understood how she felt so I tried.

When I went over the room smelt horrible.
"Bella?"

She never responded and I just sat there with her for a few minutes. "This is all your fault. You could've used your magic to keep him from attacking me then this wouldn't happen." Bella suddenly speaks up.

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You are not Edward's mate. You are his blood singer. This is not my fault. If anything it is yours because you are not suppose to know about this supernatural world. So this is your fault. I came over to try and comfort you because I was left too but fuck you bella."

She flinched as I was yelling at her and looked scared. Good she should be.
I got up and walked out. And I never spoke to her again.

Time skip
It's now the new year. 4 months since my heart was ripped out. The pain never went away it's actually gotten worse. But I've been masking my pain in any way that I can. I never let anyone really see how much I'm hurting. I always make sure to laugh and smile around everyone and it seems to be working for the most part.

I really started believing more that I was a monster. So why not actually be what he believes me to be. I found this under the table assassin job listings of things people need done. Most of the people that are targets have done something terrible. No one knows that I am doing these. I typically go out of a night time and come back whenever. Fury has also had me doing a lot of solo missions that are under wraps as well.

No one has really seemed to notice me randomly leaving. Embry finally phased and imprinted on Peter so those two have been caught up in themselves which is great. I really am happy for them.

There's a vampire running around here so the guys are chasing after it. Some red head I guess. Whatever. Anyways, I've been thinking about going to New York for a while. See the team and I guess Loki has moved in. They've asked I come and visit sometime to compare our powers and train together.

I'm headed to the pack house now and have some bruises on me from my last mission. Hopefully they aren't too noticeable. When I get there I see Sam and Emily. The guys must be out doing something.

"Hey mom hey dad" I say walking in smiling masking my pain.

Dad gives me a look knowing he sees right through me. "Hey snow. Can you and I go take a walk?" Dad asks.

"Yeah of course." Ever since that night Jasper left and I called him dad, I never stopped and he was fine with it.

We make our way to the beach and it's just the two of us now. He throws an arm over my shoulder pulling me close. "How many did you get this time?" He asked.

"What?" I asked shocked.

"Payton, I know what you've been doing over the last four months. I know you are going off and doing missions. You come back mask your pain and cover your bruises and act like everything is fine. You don't have to talk about it, all I need to know is if you are being careful and safe." He asked me.

I looked up at him and tears start to pool up in my eyes. "You know, when I first started doing these missions it was a distraction. But the longer I kept doing them the more I didn't care about the target or what they did or didn't do. I just went and killed them because I thought if the one person I loved the most thought I was a monster, then why not really become that monster. I know that's stupid and dumb to think that way. But after what hydra did to me I now know I will always be a monster. People can tell me all the time that I'm not but I'm still going to believe it because that's how mentally fucked up I am. Daddy I'm so sorry if I'm disappointing you." I say letting the tears fall from my eyes.

"Snow, I'm not disappointed in you. I wish you would believe me when I say you aren't a monster. The missions you are doing, what are the targets like?" He asked.

"Mainly people who have done some terrible and the victim wants justice."

"Not that I'm supporting the behavior but that's not necessarily making you still a monster. You are helping victims get justice where they were wronged from it the first time. No matter what happens Snow I will always love you unconditionally and be here for you. Even if you mess up so big you feel like I would turn my back on you, I won't. I promise you that I will be that one person completely stable and secure in your life okay?" He says looking at me.

"Okay dad." I say giving him a hug.

"I also think it's time for me to get away for a month or so. I thought about going to New York with the team. I love Peter but I need to get away from this stage he and Embry are in. And please keep that between us. I'm so happy for the both of them, I am just still broken that it hurts to see new young love."

"That's okay Snow. Do what you need. Just stay in contact okay? When do you leave?"

"Tonight."