Everyone knew about Peter Parker but what if his story was different and he had a twin sister named Payton. After the avengers save them from hydra, Tony steps in and becomes the figure they both need at the time. He takes them under his wings and h...
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I get back to the house and I just crash onto the floor and cry. It hurts so bad pushing him away but I can't just let him come back like nothing happened.
I soon gathered all my strength and went to take a shower. When I was done I just threw my hair in a bun, put on some sweats and a hoodie and went to get some ice cream. After I grabbed the container I just grab a spoon not giving a shit about dipping it into a bowl.
I walked into the living room and put on Netflix. I decided I was gonna watch romance movies because at least they have their shit together in them unlike me. So half way through one movie I'm stuffing my face with ice cream, crying in the couch and Loki walks in. He looks terrible.
"You okay?" I asked. He went to the kitchen grabbed a spoon and came and joined me.
"After you left Edward walked in with Bella. I had never really met him before so when we made eye contact I felt the connection of us being mates. But he's still hung up on his blood bag. So I told him I was disappointed in him for making two soulmates break apart of by him doing that makes me question him as a mate and even being worth of being mated to him." He finishes well shoving a spoon full of ice cream in his mouth.
"Our love lives suck now huh?" I asked.
"Yeah, and who knows, maybe I'll be the next one to kill of my soulmates ex." He said chuckling. I couldn't help but laugh with him.
"How are you doing with that by the way?" Loki asked me. I pause for a minute then look at my ice cream.
"Honestly it's tough. To be compared to her, and then have to face her. But on top of that now that I've had time to just sit and think, I really am a monster Loki. Plus before I ripped her apart she was so pretty. It makes me wonder why Jasper even left her. I mean I know she was manipulating him but still. She was so much prettier than me, knows him better, and if I'm being honest, she was probably more soulmate worthy than I am. I tried doing everything right for him and it wasn't enough." I say as my voice cracks.
"I just want to be enough. To have someone that accepts me for me. And not lie about it. Someone who won't walk away from me when times get rough, and someone who won't throw my past back in my face." Tears are rolling down my cheeks now.
Loki puts his spoon down and pulls me close to him. "I'm not telling you this to hurt you more or try and make you forgive him but after you left Jasper was crushed. I am the god of lies and I truly believe he is lying to you about what he said. Seems like he only did it because he thought he would save you from getting hurt by what he is like Bella almost did. Although she kind of deserves it. Anyways, maybe don't shut him out completely now that he is back but don't let him in right away. Make him work and earn you back. He has to earn your trust back, and I know you still love him but we both know he has to earn your love back. We are both closed off people and once we are hurt by a loved one it's hard to fully open to them again. So do what you need. Cry, yell, break some things whatever it may be just stand your ground and don't cave." Loki tells me.
I listened to everything he told me. I wasn't going to go running back into jaspers arms. Not after everything. But I'm struggling more now comparing myself to Maria since I met her and saw what she looked like. We were completely different in looks and everything. So now I'm dealt doubting myself, my appearance and everything. It just keeps getting harder and harder.
I used to be this extremely confident in my looks kinda of girl. But it only took one man, and seeing what his ex looked like to bring that confidence crumbling down.
I catch myself when I watch movies or out in public looking at other girls thinking I need to look like them and need to change my ways in order to get a man. I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true.
Loki sensed something was up "hey get out of your head Snowflake. You are only hurting yourself even more" he said.
"Yeah I know it's just hard I guess."
The rest of the evening we watching movies together. We ended up ordering pizza and pigged out on our feelings. Loki talked more about how he felt about Edward being his soulmate and not knowing if it's something he wants to do. Edward seems to still be hung up on this blood bag even though he just met his soulmate.
He hasn't even tried to contact Loki to work on the soulmate bond. I mean yeah it's only been a few years but still. You'd think finding your soulmate would make you drop everything to be with them.
But then again, Loki and I both have complicated pasts so maybe it's just us and the fact we are both monsters and our soulmates don't want us. At least we have each other.
Loki and I ended up moving to my room and fell asleep pretty quickly. We both ended up crying again and cried ourselves to sleep thinking and doubting.
I don't know how much more pain I am going to be able to take. It is literally killing me. Quiet literally and I don't know how much longer I will live if this soulmate bond doesn't get fixed. But will it ever get fixed? Do I just need to accept my fate in dying? Is it better this way?
