Chapter 30

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After my talk with Sam we went back to the house

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After my talk with Sam we went back to the house. All the guys were there this time and Emily was in the kitchen. When I walked in they all turned and looked at me. Sam went and grabbed Emily so I could talk to all of them.

Once Sam brought her in, he came over and stood by me for support. I looked up at him and he nodded his head to go ahead.

"uhh I have thought a lot about this, and I think I'm going to go to New York for a month or so." They all look at me.

"Why" Jared asked.

"Because I need to get away from here. For a little bit." I say softly. No one else has said anything. I'm starting to regret telling them when I should've just left.

Sam noticed my panic starting to set in. "I think it's a good thing for her to go see the team. She needs a distraction and away from this place that's keeping her in a torturing memory. She won't be gone forever, just a month maybe 2." He says.

"Do you really have to go?" Peter asked.

"Yeah I do." I say not looking at him. Him and I haven't been as close since Embry phased. And I don't blame him. Id choose a lover over a depressed broken sibling.

"When do you leave?" Emily asked.

"Tonight."

"Well I will miss you dearly so you better stay in contact with your dad and I okay?" Emily says coming to give me a hug.

"Yeah. Of course I will."

After saying my goodbyes, I went back to the house to pack my things. I was kind of sad Peter didn't come back with me but it's fine. I'll get over it. Once everything was packed up, I made my way over to Ash.

Him and I have been talking for a while of setting him free. And this evening is that day. "Okay Ash, I'm going to New York now and I'm setting you free. When I come back you are always welcome here or with the pack. I want you to roam free and not feel trapped in. Thank you so much for the comfort you've given me. You have helped more than you know. I will miss you so much." I tell him scratching behind his ear.

"Payton I will miss you so much. But I know you need this. Thank you for saving me from hydra."

I opened the door and walked in the woods with Ash and gave him one last kiss on the head before letting him run off.

I went back to the house and inside and grab my stuff to leave. I left a note for Peter for whenever he would find it. It may or may not put a hinge in our sibling bond.

I made it to the airport, checked in, and got on the plane and headed to New York.

"Are you not going to see your sister off tonight?" Paul asked

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"Are you not going to see your sister off tonight?" Paul asked. I looked up at him and shook my head no.

"No she probably wouldn't want me there. We've been distant lately and I'm not sure why." I state.

"Not to be harsh but are you that dumb to not see it?" Jared asked. I just looked at him.

"Dude, she's dealing with a broken heart and loss of the man she loved and you are here with your new relationship happy and in love. It's crushing her but she won't say anything because she cares about your happiness more than anything." Jared states.

Then it hits me. He's right. I have been spending all my time with Embry and not even being there for her dealing with her heartbreak. She pushed herself away from me and I helped her do it.

Tears started to form in my eyes. I ran out of the house and got in my jeep and sped home. When I got there all the lights where out. Ash wasn't there either. I look over on the table and see a note.

"Dear Spidy,
If you are reading this then I have already left for New York. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

I'm sorry I pushed myself away but I couldn't bring myself to talk to you about it face to face. You see, ever since Jasper left, I've been around anything that reminds me of him. And sadly that's kind of you and Embry. The way you too act together, hold each other and simply look at one another.

It's broken my heart and I just have to get away. I'm happy for you. So happy for you Peter. You deserve this happiness and being in love. You waited for a while.

I don't know when I'll be back. But just a piece of advice. Never take for granted having your loved one with you. Cherish him, let him know you love him, and remember to always be thankful for him. You never know when it could all go away.

The pain I've felt over the last four months have honestly made me wish I wasn't alive anymore. My chest feels like it's caving in and I can't get a breath in. My heart feels like it's literally broken. Every time I close my eyes I see him. Every time I'm in forks, I think of him and our times together. So this is why I'm leaving. I hope you aren't mad at me. I love you so much Spider.

P.s. I let Ash go free. Him and I talked about it for a while and I wanted him to roam free on his own. So don't worry about him anymore.

Love your twin, snow."

How could I have not noticed she was suffering like this. I let myself get so caught up in everything else I didn't even notice my own twin was crumbling apart. I ended up leaving the house and going back to Sam and Emily's. I showed them the letter and just sat there and cried. I felt like a failure to my sister. When she needed me, she was too selfless to ask for help because she didn't want me to break away from my happiness.

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