Two Worlds Apart

23

Chrysta

"Baybeh, can we talk?"

Opening my eyes to him standing there, I nodded and exhaled. Sitting down next to me as I was meditating, I waited for him to speak.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah? Um, nah, no." He fumbled his words.

"Okay?"

"Are you still upset with me?"

"For?" I looked at him confused.

"What happened last Sunday. I didn't mean to spoil your surprise, I just."

"Aug?"

"Just hear me out please."

Sighing, I decided to let him continue even though I didn't want to continue on this topic. After that happened, though lunch had went okay, I was still in a mood but I dealt with it my way.

"I wasn't deliberately snooping, it was sheer curiosity that made me open that top drawer."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"I don't know what more you want me to say babe. I told you when it happened to just leave it be. I'm not upset with you, I just chose not to speak on it again."

"But don't you think that's emotionally unhealthy?"

"What?"

"Keeping things in."

"I'm not keeping anything in. I've dealt with that specific feeling and I've released it. I don't understand why y'all think I need to react to everything. I'm carrying another being in me and I can't afford to just keep reacting to any bad thing that happens."

"Okay. I understand."

"Are you sure? Or will you be bringing this up again."

"I'm sure Chrys. You don't have to be rude about this shit."

"How am I being rude now?"

"Because here I am trying to clear the air and you're just brushing it off."

"What?" I asked genuinely confused.

At this point, my meditation session that was interrupted, was now over. Stretching out my feet, he looked at me.

"Why did you bring this back up? Like what was the exact reason?"

"You not saying anything was the reason."

"No it wasn't. It's the fact that I didn't come out and say I accepted your apology."

"Well if you know it's that then why ask? Why not just say it and be done?"

"Why do you need that validation? Whether I verbally accept your apology or not, is it going to change anything? I moved passed the situation and was good all week. I didn't come at you with any attitude or gave you any reason to think I'm holding it against you, but you're so used to people doing that, that you think everyone will."

"Look, I said I was sorry. All you had to do or say is you actually accepted it."

"And what you have to do is learn to understand that not everyone will do or say what you want or expect. I'm entitled to deal with my feelings how I deem fit and for me that's meditating and releasing that energy and then moving forward. So excuse me for handling things my way."

Getting up from my mat, I took it up, rolled it and put it away before heading out to the kitchen. Moving around, cleaning up, I tried to decide on what I wanted to eat when August came in talking.