Rengoku x Reader

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Thanks @ciaoomiaoo for the request!
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‼️emotional damage‼️
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If riding on the infinity train had taught me anything, it was that public transportation sucked. After breaking out of my headspace and launching myself into battle alongside Rengoku and a few of the newbies, I came to the realization that I hated trains. They were stuffy and made me claustrophobic while also being a terrible place to have to fight for your life as well as everyone else's. I pretended to be upset when the train went off the rails but I couldn't be happier for solid ground.

My cheerfulness was short-lived though. After helping the remaining passengers exit the train safely, I had barely turned to my beloved Rengoku to make sure he was alright when a new demon stood across a small field, looking too eerie for my tastes. I wanted nothing more than to rest with my love in my arms till the sun rose but it seemed our fight was far from over even though we've already spent the whole night locked in battle. It made me frustrated that I couldn't even have a moment to check on my partner.

"Y/n, stay back and check on young Kamado for me," Rengoku instructed, glancing over his shoulder to flash me a comforting smile that didn't ease the fear swirling in my stomach as I watched the new demon walk towards us. There was something about the way he carried himself that made me nervous of his intentions. It wasn't that he walked with confidence but that he didn't need it to know he was strong. Even though I knew Rengoku was a skilled swordsman, I doubted that he had a good fighting chance when he was clearly already exhausted.

"I'm not staying on the sidelines for this one. You're already injured and I'm picking up a bad vibe from this one," I whispered defiantly, jabbing a thumb in the demon's direction while staring at Rengoku with all seriousness. His smile twitched as if he wanted to frown but couldn't seem to manage it. That seemed to happen constantly whenever I didn't listen to his warnings and jumped in blindly but I wasn't about to sit back and watch my lover be torn apart without trying to help in some way.

"I'm begging you this time, my dear, to stay and protect the others. Someone needs to keep everyone else safe and I know you can do it," he stated quietly. Without his usual boasting and loud manner, I was taken aback in shock as dread coiled in my body like a python waiting to strike. Something was wrong and he must've known it when he wrapped one of his arms around my waist to pull me closer before he pecked my forehead lovingly. I hated that it felt like a goodbye.

"You don't need to do this by yourself. Let me help you, damn it!" I clung to him pleadingly, feeling tears prick at my eyes. His expression softened as he stared at me but he had clearly already made up his mind. I knew that if I didn't listen to him and tried to join him in battle that he'd find a way to incapacitate me all in the name of my own safety. It didn't matter to him that he was disregarding his own.

"I know you're more honorable than this. When it comes down to it, you'll make the right decision. You always do, it's why I fell in love with you," he whispered warmly, pressing another kiss to my lips instead. I drew him in nearer and willingly gave him as much affection and love I could provide in the few seconds we held each other. Just in case this might've been the end, I kissed him as if it would be our last even as I consoled myself in believing that I'd see him after this.

"I love you too," I replied. He flashed me a warm smile that differed from his usual ones. This one held so much emotion that I had to choke back a sob that threatened to escape. If he wanted me to do this, for him, then I would. I gave him my own wobbly smile that must've just looked pitiful before I walked away to help the remaining victims in the area to a safer place. I hated turning my back on him, it being the most agonizing feeling in the world but I had to help everyone else. Even if it meant sacrificing the one person I loved.

~~~

I had managed to drag all remaining passengers away from the train and the sounds of battle, my heart caught in my throat the entire time. The only thing I could count on was that the demon and Rengoku were clearly still at it which meant he hadn't died. I had to hope that he could pull through and at least hold out until the sun rose. This had to be the longest night I've ever witnessed.

On the opposite side of the derailed train, a sudden wave of heat made my head swivel to look in the direction of the fight with rising hopes. I've never seen such a destructive move from Rengoku and it must've destroyed his enemy considering I could see the high flames from even here. I became excited to be reunited with Rengoku and I hurriedly made sure that everyone from the train was alright and safe before I eagerly ran in the direction where I had last left my lover with the demon.

Before I even managed to come around the side of the train, I heard screaming. Chills caused goosebumps to rise along my body in recognition of the Kamado demonslayer's vengeful tone. There was something mournful and pitiful in Tanjiro's crying that sent fear through my body. All of my hope suddenly shattered, tears flowing down my face even before I stumbled across the scene that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

Tanjiro kneeled next to a body on the ground, his head turned to scream at the demon from earlier who seemed to be fleeing with a sword lodged in his chest. The sight of the monster made red hot fury build inside me, his face permanently etched into my mind for later use. When I glanced at the sight of Rengoku's still form though, all of my energy drained causing me to collapse to the ground beside him.

My hands were shaky as I reached out for him, my eyes glued to the wound that was made through his chest. When I touched him, I instantly knew he was already gone in the way his skin had gone from fiery hot to deathly cold. Sobs wracked my body as I held him to my chest in an aching longing I've never felt so strongly before. It made it hard to even breathe as if Rengoku had been the one thing that was keeping me alive. Now that he was gone, I wasn't sure what to do. There seemed to be no right decision in a situation like this and I could only cry knowing that I couldn't even do the one thing that had come so naturally when he was alive.

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