Rough Hands - A T.ShigarakixReader Story

Inconsolable.

"Please stop." You beg Tomo, who had been screaming for about twenty minutes without stopping.
You were beginning to panic, now. You didn't understand why he was so upset. You'd tried feeding him, you'd tried burping him, you'd tried putting him down to sleep, you'd tried physically soothing him... nothing was working.
You needed Tomura to come and handle the situation for so you could calm down for a moment before continuing.
But he'd disappeared off with Re-Destro hours ago and hadn't replied to any messages you'd sent since.
You bounce him gently like you'd seen Tomura do once or twice before, but he still insists on screaming and wiggling in your arms.

In exhaustion and stupidity, you place Tomo in his moses basket and leave the room to try to find Tomura yourself with tears pricking at your eyes as your brain continues spitting unfavourable things about you and your parenting skills.
You don't get very far before a warm hand stops you mid-storm, the world around you blurred by your tears.
"What're you doing?" Dabi asks, sounding a little angry.
"Finding Tomura." You reply, rubbing your eyes roughly.
"Where's Tomo?"
"In the room." You sob.
"For fucks..." He sighs. "Come on, mama."

He drags you back to your room by your arm as you cry, wiping your face to try and furiously pretend that you weren't crying like a baby yourself.
"C'mere." He says, letting go of your arm and picking up a still fussing Tomo. "Whats the problem?"
"I don't know, I've tried everything." You explain exhaustedly, sniffing.
"Have you tried calmin' the fuck down?" He asks dryly. "Sit down."
You sit down on the edge of your bed, still taking shaky breaths and sniffling only for Dabi to gently place Tomo back in your arms, crouching in front of you.

"Just chill out." He leads after you flinch and start tearing up again when Tomo cries loudly once more. "He's new to this whole living thing. He's just a little scared. Needs his mom."
You just kind of sit there uselessly as Tomo continues to fuss, although not screaming like he had been previously.
"Come on, Fireworks. Do what you do best. Comfort him. Make him feel better." Dabi sighs, stroking Tomo's wet cheek with his finger softly.
"I don't know how." You whine, your breathing beginning to feel like its uncontrollable.
"What feels natural?" He asks patiently.
"I don't-" You begin to respond.

"Stop overthinking and just do it." He interrupts, his blue eyes stony cold as he stares at you.
You blink a couple of tears loose, but shift Tomo in your arms so his head is resting near yours, and you lean your cheek against his tiny skull, shushing him gently as you pat his back softly too.
Dabi watches, still crouching, as slowly both you and Tomo calm down. When his cries calm to happier gurgling sounds, and you feel his little fingers curling around your clothes you begin crying with relief instead, pressing your face against his head and dropping small kisses against it.

"See? You're fine." He huffs, standing finally now you and Tomo had been soothed. "What's the matter with you?"
"I'm a shitty mom." You sniffle. "I'm just bad at it, and everything I read said that it'd be this amazing feeling and you'd bond straight away, but it just hasn't happened."
You feel the bed droop next to you as Dabi sits beside you.
"I think I'm broken or something. I just feel so lousy. I keep thinking about how they'd both be better off without me." You hide your face further against Tomo so you don't have to see Dabi's reaction.

"I ain't an expert, but he-" Dabi motions to Tomo vaguely. "Is a whole ass new human being you gotta get used to. It's not that surprising that you haven't had some magical instant bond, Y/N."
"But everyone says-"
"Everyone's lying, doll." He rolls his eyes. "We'd be extinct if women told the truth about pregnancy and babies."
You hold Tomo a little more casually, letting him peer over your shoulder now he's calmed.
"How'd you know so much anyway?" You ask, wiping the last remaining tears from your eyes.
"Oldest of four." He grunts. "Mom struggled."

There's a brief silence as you continue to collect yourself fully and icy eyes run over both you and Tomo.
"As for the other thing, that ain't right and I think you know it." He says, trying to catch your gaze. "You told dusty about that?"
"Seriously, Dabi?" You sigh at the nickname.
"Have you?"
"No." You admit. "He keeps asking if I need to see Garaki whenever I say anything remotely 'sad'."
"I can see why that wouldn't be appealing." Dabi clicks his tongue. "You gotta tell him though if it's gettin' that bad."
"He won't get it." You dismiss.

"How'll you know if you don't try?" Dabi asks, holding his finger out for Tomo to grab curiously.
"I guess..." You relent, moving to pass Tomo to him.
He seems uncertain at first, but caves, holding Tomo gently in his scarred arms and looking down at him fondly for the first time you'd been made aware of.
"You're a little dude aren't you?" He asks softly as Tomo holds his finger the second it gets within grabbing distance. "...When you stop upsetting your ma."
"He didn't mean to." You sigh. "I'm just useless."
"Less'a that." Dabi mutters, wiggling Tomo's hand as it grips his finger. "Damn, he's strong."
"Yeah, well, you should try having him latched onto your boob." You comment dryly.

"Gross." Dabi grunts back instantly.
You just smile, thankful to finally have your friend back and talking to you again without being a total dick.
"Can we be friends again now?" You ask, trying to sound teasing and elbowing him gently in the arm after a while. "Asshole Dabi isn't my favourite."
"We've always been friends." He mutters. "Just awkward."
"It doesn't need to be." You reply quietly, smiling as Tomo looks up with wide, curious pink eyes at him.
Dabi shrugs, easing his finger away from Tomo's grasp as gently as he can so he can pet his little cheek softly with the back of his finger.

Your phone alerts in your pocket, probably Tomura finally replying to your messages. You cringe internally, knowing that you probably sounded hysterical in them now you'd calmed down.
No doubt you'd be asked if you need to see Garaki again later when he was back.
When you check the screen, sure enough it's Tomura replying, telling you that he just likes to be held sometimes and asking if you were okay and or needed him to come back.
You send a brief message back reassuring him that you sorted it out.

Tomo seems perfectly content with Dabi, although it may be more morbid fascination with the way that he doesn't seem to have blinked once since being in his arms and looking up at the scarred face above him.
You wonder if maybe he'd been cold and that's why he'd been so fussy. Even being sat beside Dabi warmed everyone up at the best of times, and little Tomo wasn't even making a peep anymore.
Wordlessly, Dabi moves Tomo so he's cradling him how you had been holding him earlier, letting the little one rest his drying cheek on Dabi's shoulder.
"You know, Fireworks... 'F you ever leave him alone like that again... I may be less friendly about it next time."

"I was just overwhelmed." You reply, stroking your sons cheek. "It won't happen again."