Rough Hands - A T.ShigarakixReader Story

Five Minutes.

You watch, feeding Tomo, as Dabi dances atop Gigantomachia, telling his story about his childhood and everything his father did. You think it's the most genuine information he'd ever given about himself, and he chooses to broadcast it live to the entirety of Japan.
Weirdly enough, Nezumi doesn't seem phased, like she already knew. But she can't have, surely? Dabi was hardly an open book, even with you all, and you'd known him for months.
You watch as he announces Bubaigawara's death on live television, showing the evidence of Hawks piercing a feather straight through his back as he tries to run away.
You watch, burping Tomo, as Compress sacrifices himself, or at least potentially his freedom to free the others from the snares they're in.
You ask Nezumi to turn it off after that. You didn't need to see or hear that you'd lost anyone else in such a short period of time. Especially when she told you Tomo thinks about you crying.

She seems to sympathise with you, not turning the TV off straight away, though.
"Why don't you have five minutes to yourself? Tomo's close to napping, I can keep an eye on him while you rest if you like." Nezumi suggests softly.
You hold Tomo closely instinctively, and she smiles understandingly.
"You can rest here if you really don't trust me, but I promise I won't do anything to hurt him." She vows, keeping her hands to herself instead of trying to take him anyway like Hawks had.

You think on it for a moment. You really did feel the need to cry, to have five minutes for yourself to process everything you'd just seen and been unable to process properly.
"I think... I need just five minutes." You admit quietly, as though she couldn't already hear what you were thinking.
She nods, reaching slowly for Tomo.
You place him in her arms carefully, apparently still looking incredibly nervous about it because she smiles at you and says: "He's dreaming about you both. He's fine."
You blink. "That's... actually really useful. I wish I could hear what he was thinking."
She smiles softly. "It has its uses from time to time. Go sleep in my room, I'll see if anything else happens."

You stand, but pause at the glass door separating the living room and kitchen from her bathroom and bedroom.
"Can you get me if he wakes up? I don't..." You pause. "I don't want him to think he's been abandoned."
"If he wakes up you're the first one I'm coming to." She smiles. "I'm alright when they're asleep, but he's all yours when he's awake."
You nod, still feeling a little guilty. "Okay... Okay. Thank you, Nezumi."
She nods, settling back on the couch with Tomo nestled in her arms, swaddled and apparently content.

You watch for a few quiet moments before putting your trust in her and leaving the room, opening the door to the bathroom and then immediately turning to the other door, opening the door to her room.
It's tidy, tidier than any of your or Tomura's shared rooms had been. There wasn't a hair out of place, and you feel a little out of your depth for some reason.
You sit on the edge of her bed first, looking at the photos of her and a sibling that looks so similar that they could be twins, as well as photos with another man.

You run your hands over your face, feeling everything beginning to rise within you.
God, Bubaigawara... gone. By the hands of a hero, no less. He, out of everyone, probably had the cleanest rap sheet. He had never been anything beyond loving and kind to you all, you don't think you'd ever heard him raise his voice once.
You let a few tears slip, and allow yourself to sink into the feeling of failure by not being there to heal him, because if you had been, he may have survived it.

You feel more emotional when you realise that Tomo won't get to spend time with Bubaigawara as he grows up, knowing how much Bubaigawara's face lit up whenever given the chance to hold Tomo.
You feel like the world has been rid of a genuinely good soul, by the same hands that swore to protect and to serve.
And once the sadness was gone, that would turn to anger, resentment towards the heroes, just like Tomura's. You hope Tomura is taking care of the others, wherever they are.
You lay on your side slowly, like the bed might be boobytrapped, letting a few more tears slip despite yourself.