The Blind Alpha | ✓

Chapter 60: Irene Rose

A.N this is kinda of a bad chapter, but an emotional one? I guess?

       "What do you want Irene?" my mother stressed out as she sat on the bed with my father as I sat across from her on a small stool.  I bit my lip, trying to get together a sentence before staring at them with guilt behind my eyes.

   "I'm here to apologise for not at least contacting you after everything that has happened, I honestly feel so terrible," I confessed trying not to look at them in the eyes, it was hard to look at my mother's disappointment when she was sitting a few feet away.

   "I just can't believe you didn't at least call, after everything we and your siblings have been through, we thought you'd at least try to contact us. We would've understood if you have been running away, but when you had the chance, that's just selfish," my father spat out, his hands forming tight fists as my mother rested her hand on his thigh.

    "I know it was selfish of me to not call you, but I couldn't face you guys. I could visibly see Johnny and Elena almost strangled to death. How do you think I feel knowing I was the reason this all happened? My stubbornness has hurt my family. I couldn't just check up on your well-being when I was the source of your pain." I whimpered out as the flashbacks of my youngest brother being strangled by the arms of a warrior.

   "You could've at least said you were fine! We were so worried sick! We didn't know if you had died or if you were missing or if you were being held hostage, being treated like dirt!" my mother exclaimed, tears threatening to leave her beautiful eyes, my father swooping in to comfort her.

"After everything our family has gone through, I thought you would've at least left a voicemail. Eva was always picking up the phone asking if they knew you. Johnny would ask when you were coming back since the trial. Elena was always talking about you through the phone. Asking if you called and we'd always responded with no. If you couldn't call for us, why couldn't you do it for your siblings?" she breathed out heavily, clutching my father's hand tightly that I could visibly see how pale his hand was going.

     I hated feeling guilty. As if every problem, every argument, every memory was my fault. I hated how it was true. I hated how weak I felt every time I think of that. I couldn't even call the people that raised me, I could even call the siblings that I fought with yet loved at the same time. 

How pathetic am I? 

  I swear it's the stubbornness of being an Alpha's mate, but even so, I know I look stubborn, I know people get annoyed at me because of it. I'm sorry, but that's the way I am, but why do I feel so guilty of being who I am. Why do I feel responsible for everything that has happened? Why did it have to happen to me? I didn't ask for this, I'm sorry. 

   It all leads back to me. The forceful marking. The running away. The trial. The pain. Everything.

  I blamed it all on Archer, but it was all my fault. If only I was like a normal she-wolf. If only I was submissive and compliant, maybe I would've lived a happier life. I might not have been happy, but everyone around me would've been right? Goddess, it's all my fault. I caused this mess.

    I sat there, contemplating for a few moments, noticing how wet my cheeks were, how my heart hurt painfully every time it moved, how my lungs constricted because of the emotions that lodged itself in my throat. I felt everything come back to me and the look in my mother's eyes, the pain, the agony, the shame and I just broke.

   "I-I'm sorry! After everything I've been through, after all the pain I've felt, my mind was everywhere! I have a pack to look after, a mate to help out, figuring out where I fit into all of this and if I was even worthy of becoming a Luna! I couldn't even check up on my friends because of my heavy schedule! I was tired every day and if I had time to call you, I couldn't bring myself to even say 'hello' because if I did, I might miss you more. I can't even leave the pack!" I cried out, feeling tears pour out of my eyes as I saw my parent's expression turn devastated, making me feel even more guilty.