Those three little words (a Maylor fanfiction)

Part 17

Brian's POV
We finished doing the two videos and could finally go back inside, "hang on, do you lot want to see what we've done? If you aren't happy with it we can cut it and change it about..." a man shouted after us and I heard a groan from Freddie, "Okay, but be quick, were freezing!"

We crowded around a little screen and watched the footage back, the director telling us what he wants to do with certain parts. I could feel Roger's hand trying to wiggle itself into mine but I pulled it away, not when there could be anyone behind us. He looked over and frowned but I just shook my head, looking back to the screen.

I flicked my eyes to the side and saw a man behind us, filming all four of us as we watched back what they took of us. I felt a hand again in mine and yanked it away, crossing my arms across my chest to make it look less suspicious. The video stopped and the director turned around to face us, "is there anything you want us to get rid of or anything?" He asked and I shook my head but Freddie stepped forwards.

"Could you get rid of me falling over? That's not something I want people to see, really" He laughed and the director nodded, flicking through the tape and cutting a few seconds out of it. "Is that all?" He asked, looking over at the rest of us, "Yeah...that's fine..." John said and I heard a little hum from Roger.

We got back inside and changed out of the warm stuff into more comfortable clothes, "is he okay?" John whispered, looking at Roger who was sat as far away from me as possible. I looked over at the drummer and he had a sort of sad glint in his eyes, not like the normal glimmer that was there earlier.

"I don't know..." was all I could answer because I really didn't know, I hadn't done anything to upset him and I didn't think there was something really bothering him. John hummed and started up a little conversation, talking about one guy who was so rude.

"Yeah, that guy came over to us, you remember? And I heard the guy in his ear say like "ask the guitar player... is it Brian?" Like, he didn't know my name! I mean, if you're going to work with people, at least learn their damn names... and if you're planning not to, don't let them have the volume up that loud!" I said, fuming about how rude this other guy was.

"Yeah, yeah...there was another guy at the back who I swear kept laughing at me... like, I can't help it that I play like that! It's just how I do it, I can't help it..." John said and I nodded, flicking my eyes over to Roger who just so happened to look at me at the same time.

"I gotta talk to him... hang on there." I said, standing up and going over to the blonde, tapping him on the shoulder. "Upstairs please, I want to talk..." I said calmly and he nodded, excusing himself from his conversation with Freddie. I went up the stairs, his footsteps following me, and into his bedroom.

I turned around and saw him in the doorway, "come in, I need to have a chat..." I said and he did, sitting down on the bed. "What do you want?" He asked, a hint of anger in his voice and I knelt down next to the bed, "what's wrong? You haven't been right since we stopped filming..."

His eyes widened a fraction, "I'm fine..." his voice was full of sarcasm. "Don't do this...talk to me, Roger, what's wrong? I genuinely want to know..." I said and he crossed his arms. "You... you're what's wrong! You're fine with all the romance and adorableness everywhere else but as soon as anyone else can see us, it's like you want to be on the other side of the earth!" The younger man shouted.

I could see the little tears in his eyes as he spoke and I knew that what he was saying was true, I didn't want people to find out just yet, it could ruin our reputation if they did. But I didn't know he thought of it like that...

"I want to be near you, love... but if the media or someone finds out then we could be screwed. I don't want you or myself or anyone else for that matter to be chased by the press or something, and I'd love to shout it out to the world that we're together but I don't think the world is ready for us..." I said, welling up myself a bit.

"Could you not have given me a hint or anything?! I would've stopped if you gave me a hint but no, you made it ten times worse by pulling your hand away like that...you doing that actually hurts, Brian, and I don't think you notice that. You won't hold my hand when we walk about now, you won't kiss me in public and I bet you wouldn't dare think of doing any romantic gestures because 'it could be bad for our careers'..." Roger shouted back, a tear rolling down his cheek, "if they want us then they'll have to take us like this, fuck what it does to our career! I don't care if they beat down our door to see us, I want to be with you Brian and I want you to be comfortable being with me..."

He had to stop for a second but carried on in a shaky voice, "all I'm saying is I would love to shout it from the rooftops that we're together... but it doesn't seem like you're the same. It seems like as soon as someone could judge us, you're already gone..." he took a deep breath and stood up, "um, you need to go... I have stuff to do..." he said, a pained look on his face, but I understood. I left the bedroom and tramped down the stairs, shouting to John and Freddie that I was popping off before leaving the house.

I didn't even bother to look back at the house, if anyone was looking then I'd most certainly start crying and if not, I would still cry. I didn't know he felt like that... I thought he knew that I was trying to protect him by doing that but I guess he took it the wrong way. I wrapped myself up in thought and didn't even notice that someone was behind me the whole time, "Brian, what happened? Why did you just walk out like that?" It was John.

"Stuff...got a bit too much..." I replied, shrugging, but he wasn't taking that and asked for a proper answer, "fine...I've been doing things to protect us as a band and me and Roger, right? And today someone tried holding my hand when there was a camera right behind us... so I pulled it away... and now he's all up there like 'it feels like you'd rather be on the other side of the earth'!" I said, stopping in the middle of the pavement.

"Oh..." was all John could say until he perked up a little and started walking again, "how about you let him calm down for tonight then try and work this out in the morning, eh?" He suggested and I smiled a little, "alright, I'll try it..."

I walked home with John following close by my side, managing to scrape a proper conversation out of ourselves for a little while.

We got to my front door and I invited him in but he said no, apparently he had some 'other business' to attend to. I waved him off as he headed off until he was out of sight, "wonder what he needed to do..." I asked myself, "maybe he's going back to Fred to pick him up... I dunno, stop trying to get into his personal stuff, he's probably got something going on."

I shut the door behind me and slumped down in the couch, "wonder what Roger's doing..." I thought out loud, then remembered, "oh yeah, doing 'stuff'... I forgot his stuff was more important than me right now..." I sighed and slumped down even more into the couch, my head nearly on my chest, and just let myself think for a while.

My brain came up with a huge list of things he could be doing right now...
"Could be vacuuming, or washing the dishes, might be talking to Freddie... or John... or writing something, or showing Freddie something... what if he's crying right now...ugh, I need to stop thinking about him! I have to distract myself..." I thought aloud and got up to try and do something to get my mind off the man I'd call my boyfriend but I'm not sure if he would call me the same...

Shorter chapter this time! Hope this is alright :) ~ Kate