Those three little words (a Maylor fanfiction)

Part 109

Roger's POV
Brian took the carrier and helped me out to the car then got into the driver's seat and started the five minute drive to the hospital where Chrissie was preparing to have her cesarian section. I couldn't sit still for the entire drive because I was so excited to see the baby and I had a pretty bad itch under my cast.

"So, who's going to hold him first? Should I or would you want to?" Brian asked and I looked at him in the rear view mirror, "he's your biological son so I think you deserve to hold him first" I said and saw his face light up as we turned the corner to get into the parking for the hospital.

We found a parking space and Brian took the carrier with him as both of us slowly made our way into the hospital. He helped me down the flight of stairs from the parking and let me sit down for a little bit as he asked the man on the reception desk where we had to go.

"Floor five in the women's ward" he said and helped me up then put his arm around my waist and walked with me to the women's ward then both of us got in the lift and went up to the fifth floor. We checked we were in the right place and signed ourselves in then heard Chrissie's name and followed the nurse who called it.

We were led to an empty waiting room and she sat with us and started explaining what was going to happen, "okay, she's been put completely out and is in the theatre at the moment so hopefully within the next five or so minutes you'll be able to hold your baby" she said and I felt Brian's hand grab mine and his thumb stroked the back of my hand.

"Um, silly question but would we be able to go and see Chrissie after she's come out or does she need time first?" Brian asked and the nurse smiled, "you can go and see her as soon as she's out" she said and he nodded. "I'm going to leave you in peace for a bit to talk between yourselves but when the baby is about to come in, I'll pop in and give you a little warning" she said and both of us nodded before she left the room.

"Okay, this is happening... this is actually happening, Rog" Brian said and turned to me with a huge smile on his face, "it doesn't feel real at all" he said and I shook my head, "it feels like it's a dream" he said and put his hand on my cheek. He looked into my eyes and smiled, "it feels like only yesterday I met you and now we're engaged" he said and I felt him playing with my ring, "and we're minutes away from having our first child. It just doesn't seem real"

His lips inched closer to mine and soon they were locked together and I was staring straight into his eyes. He slowly pulled away and stroked my cheek then took my hand in both of his, "I love you so much" he said quietly and I smiled as he wiped a tear away from his eye.

I could feel his hands shaking in mine so I started to stroke the backs of them with my thumbs, "stop this shaking, we're absolutely fine and the baby's fine" I said and he apologised quietly before one of his hands slipped out of mine and brushed the hair off of my forehead.

"I hope this baby is as beautiful as you" he said and sorted out my fringe. I held his hand in both of mine and watched as he frowned slightly then ran his tongue over his teeth and smiled, "there we go, you look perfect my love"

"I didn't even need to do anything and you look perfect" I said and he blushed a little before the door opened and the nurse poked her head in. "Are you alright in here? Need me to get you anything?" She asked and Brian nodded a little, "what do you want, sweetie...we've got water, tea, coffee and orange juice" she said and Brian asked for water.

The nurse nodded and got him the water which he sipped at then offered to me, "thanks, love...I was getting a bit of a dry mouth" I said and took a sip of the cool water before I handed the cup back to him.

I could see the water in the cup shaking a little with how much his hands were shaking and it seemed the nurse noticed as well. She took the cup out of his hand then sandwiched his hand between both of hers and gently tapped on his wrist, "if you ever feel stressed or nervous, just do this...it gives you something to do" she said then rolled up his sleeve a little.

"See, there's a nerve running right there that goes straight to your brain and when you tap it, it sends signals that distract your brain from the worry" she said and ran her finger up his arm to show him where it was then kept tapping the middle of his wrist.

I felt him squeeze my hand and gently squeezed back as both of us watched the nurse, "how's that feeling? Any better?" She asked and held his hand up to see it was still shaking but not as badly as before, "much better...I'll be back in when we know what's going on with your little one" she said then stood up and quietly left the room.

He took his hand out of mine and kept tapping his wrist like the nurse did as I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes, all of the disinfectants and shit they use to clean the rooms always made them water.

I blew a bit of dust off of the lenses which made Brian jump a little and look at me, "sorry, there was dust on it and it was pissing me off" I said and he smiled a little before he took my glasses from me and put them on.

"How do I look?" He asked and I smiled as I gave him a thumbs up, "looking snazzy, babe, I like it" I said and he smiled as he went slightly cross-eyed to try and focus his eyes with them. I laughed at how silly he looked then took them off of him and put them on myself, making sure not to get any fingerprints on it.

"That was so weird, it was like normal on one side but on the other you were all magnified and blurry" he said and I smiled a little, "is that really how your eyes are?" He asked and I nodded, "yep, I have seriously fucked up eyes" I said and both of us giggled as I made myself go cross-eyed.

"How're you feeling now? Still worried or are you more chilled out now?" I asked and Brian held up his hand, "you're an alright, that's fair. It is quite a big event so I don't blame you" I said and he nodded a little then fluffed up his hair and shook his head about.

I fluffed up the bit on the top with my fingers then pulled a curl and watched it spring back. "This is quite fun, I should do this more often" I said and made another curl spring up as Brian laughed and watched from the corner of his eye.

"Does my hair really have to be your entertainment? There's better things to do than this" he giggled and I shook my head, "there's nothing better than this mop of curly wonderfulness" I said and both of us laughed as Brian took a sip of the water.

"Yeah, this curly wonderfulness needs a trim, it's getting too long" he said and I made a little noise, "it's not too bad, I mean, it could do with a whole clean-up but I like it like this" I said and he blushed a little as he pulled at the ends of his hair to keep his hands occupied.

- a few minutes later -

Brian had finished his water and asked me to go and re-fill it so I took his cup and awkwardly walked out of the room then found a water cooler down the hallway and started to fill up the cup again. I got it up to about halfway then stopped as I saw a few doctors in surgical clothes rushing out of the theatre and a nurse following after them with something in her arms.

She made eye contact with me and turned away as soon as she noticed but it was too late, I'd already seen the baby in her arms.

He was completely silent, no screaming or crying. Nothing.

It was almost as if he was dead.