To Your Rescue: The Original Work From The Tumblr Author

Chapter Seventy-Six

Aubrey

My fingers were attached to my blackberry while Mila was out with her sister. I sat out by the pool with my hookah, typing the thoughts as they came while the sound of the waterfalls filled my ears. This was becoming my new favorite spot to chill and vibe at. There was a lot for me to express using my musical outlet that I was gifted with.

My mind reverted back to her a lot. She's been the source of most of my inspiration to write lately. That's how big of a part she was in my life. With that, I had to be careful in what I put in my songs. As much as I wanted to be a hundred percent real with my fans, somethings were to stay between us. Somethings were her story to tell, not mine.

Thinking back to her conversation with 40 earlier brought me back to all the times I would see her writing in a notebook, or in the notes on her phone. I often wondered what was in there besides lyrics. After the first incident with invading her privacy, I didn't dare to do it again. Even though sometimes I felt like that was my only way of knowing certain things about her.

Till this day she still hasn't told me what happened with Jay that night he attacked her. I only knew what the poem allowed me to understand. I only knew by the scene I walked into when I had her house clean while she was away in Nepal.

Even coming to the present tense, she kept what happened with Harold pretty quiet. It's been less than a day but still. I caught certain things she said when she panicked last night, but nothing else was said after that. From what I recollect, Paul told him to kill her...and he was going to. I wanted to know it all. I want to know what she experienced in that moment so we could be that much closer and stronger together. But she wouldn't open up.

Then if I think back further, she didn't want to talk about losing our child. She spoke to me through music, which I appreciated but it wasn't the same as us talking it out together. We kind of just let time start to heal it.

She had intentions to move into a new place. That she kept from me too. I found out by her cellphone. How does that happen? Why did that have to be so secretive about everything? It was hard for me to understand.

If I let her and Elena tell it, this is how she's always been. She keeps things to herself. It was nothing against me, but it felt like it. Maybe because I was giving her all of me? I had no problem telling her anything. Especially after almost losing her as a result of my poor judgement. I wore my heart on my sleeve for this girl. She said that she loves me, trusts me, and feels the safest with me. For that, I couldn't understand why she couldn't be completely open with me.

It bothered me. It felt personal. I didn't want to seem selfish, but I thought it was unfair. I'm giving her 100% while she holds back. It's okay though. I keep telling myself that it'll all work itself out.

Maybe alone time tonight will spark that? I'll cook dinner and it just be me and her. Candlelit in the dining room. Sounds like a plan to me. We've been intimate non stop for awhile. As much as I loved our sex, maybe we should hold off on that and replace that with conversation? Just a thought.

I went to the kitchen to come up with the menu. Searching the fridge for ingredients. I laid a pack of chicken breast, a bag brown rice, and two bunches of arugula on the island. Okay, I have something here to work with. I washed and seasoned the chicken with salt, pepper and bottled jerk marinade to bake in the oven. I then heated a pot of water to boil for the rice, adding cilantro, lime and a chicken bouillon to it ; a tip I had picked up from her to bring flavor to the bland grain. I went to her food blog on my phone to find the recipe for her arugula salad. It was one of my favorites that she made. It was easy to follow. Chop the arugula, drizzle with olive oil, lemon juice and top with fresh parmesan cheese.