Bait // Thiam

Chapter 79

I thanked Scott as he dropped my off at home, waiting for me in the driveway to make sure I got inside. I locked the door and went into the kitchen, throwing my keys on the bench, finding a note on the bench. I read it and rolled my eyes, thinking about how typical and pathetic it was.

It was a note from my parents letting me know they both took a night shift for extra money and because they needed people to work tonight. I scrunched the paper up and threw it back on the bench, walking slowly up the stairs to my bedroom. I opened my bedroom door, getting a cool breeze from the opened window. I walked over to it, closing it right before sitting down on the edge of my bed.

I looked at my wall and then to my bedside table, looking at the frame with a picture of me and the whole pack. Including Theo and Allison. I picked up the frame and looked at it, watching as a tear fell onto it. I watched as the tear slide down the frame, falling onto the ground. The longer I looked, the more frustration built up inside me.

I let out a groan and threw the frame onto my head, diving into my pillow and letting it all out. I held onto the corners of my pillow, squeezing them tighter as I began to scream. I never knew I was capable to feel so much pain, but then again. I never knew I would lose the two people who mean the world to me. I lifted my head from the pillow, two wet circles left behind from where my tears had fallen.

I sat up slightly, reaching over and grabbing the frame, making sure I didn't break it. Once I checked it and make sure it was broken, I held it against my chest, getting under the covers and curling up into a ball. I wanted to cry, I still had tears left, but I couldn't. My eyes are puffy and swollen, my chest hurts from scream, my stomach hurts from lack of oxygen. I need to cry, but I don't have the strength to force them out.

I closed my eyes, bring the frame closer into my chest. If throwing it onto the bed didn't break it, then me hugging it defiantly will. But I don't have time to think about me breaking it. I don't even have the time to take care of myself. I promised Theo, I even promised myself I wouldn't let it get this bad again. Not eating, not sleeping, not showering, I only leave my house when I'm buying flowers or visiting the gravesite.

My parents are worried about me and they've been trying to talk to me about it, but I haven't been in a chatty mood lately. They understand what I'm going through and that I need time to heal and piece myself back together, but they're still worried. They don't want anything to happen to me. They've tried to comfort me but I just push them away. They try and feed me but I just politely decline. I have eaten though, just not what I should be eating. I just haven't had the time or strength to get anything.

I closed my eyes and just before I could drift off, I heard my ringtone. I quickly turned around, picking up my phone to see who was calling. When I saw the display name, I let out a short sigh, disappointed that it wasn't who I thought it was.

I watched as her name stayed on the screen. I wasn't going to answer it, but I wasn't going to decline it. I don't want her thinking anything's wrong, so at least this way she'll just think I fell asleep. She can come check on me whenever she gets home though. I felt bad for ignoring my own mom, but I don't want to talk right now. I don't even know what to say.

I rolled back over onto my other side, staring blankly at my wall. I placed the picture on the pillow next to me, staring at that instead. I ran my finger over Theo, smiling at the memory of when the photo was taken. It was just after I told the pack we were dating. About a week after actually.

We wanted to take a family photo, Theo thought he was going to have to take the photo but then Allison told him not to be ridiculous. That he was now also apart of the family. He looked so shocked at first, almost like he's never been apart of something like this. Malia also told him he was apart of the pack, even though she still didn't like him that much. It was at that point that I knew. I knew he was going to be apart of my life forever and everyone understood that. They excepted me.

That's when I also realised that they weren't just my friends or my pack, they're my family. And they need me just as much as I need them. I'm not the only one going through this, they all are. Some are hurting more than others, but I need to be there for them as well. Just like they've been trying to with me.

I sat up quickly when I heard a knock on my front door. I got out of bed slowly and walked downstairs, staring at my door as I saw someone move. At first all I could think about was the hunters. Maybe they're out there, instead of taking us on all at once, maybe they're going to take us down one by one.

But then I remembered. It's all over. We made sure of that. I heard another knock. This one louder than the one before, but it wasn't an angry knock. It was one that was determined. Determined for me to hear and answer it. I went over to the door and unlocked it, slowly opening to reveal who it was. Brett.

"Hey, Dunbar." He whispered, a sympathetic look in his eyes, another reason as to why I've been avoiding people.

I hate how they all act, trying to make me feel better. Giving me there sympathy and trying to act as though we're best friends, when we're really not. Trying to act as though they also lost someone, when in reality they've never even spoken.

But this look, it was different. Only because he did also lose someone. "Hey. Come on in," I whispered moving out of his way.

"How you doing?" He whispered, stepping inside and closing the door. I looked at him and shook my head, trying to find the right words to describe how it was that I was feeling.

"It's like this pain that won't go away," I began to explain. "Like the only way I can get rid of it is by either joining them in death or finding someone to help fix my heart, but the only problem is we can't find any of the pieces. The more I cry, the more pain I feel but I can't help but cry."

I looked into his eyes and was amazed. Although he isn't feeling what I'm feeling, he still understands. He gets exactly what I mean and as crazy and stupid as it sounds, it makes perfect logical sense to him.

"I get it. I totally get it," he slightly laughed, making me smile.

"Thank you for coming by the way," I told him, still a bit surprised that it was him at the door. "We haven't really spoken recently."

"That's probably partially my fault. I've been super busy lately and haven't had a lot of spare time. I'm sorry I didn't come by sooner," he apologised, looking down at me.

"The last thing I want is for you to apologise. I get it, don't worry." I told him, making sure he didn't feel bad for not coming to see me sooner.

If anything, I haven't wanted anyone to come see me. Not until now.