11:11

Thirty-One

So, my parents decided that it would be a fun idea to go on a little two day trip to the beach without telling any of us, making what I wanted to do impossible. Well, not impossible but hard because one, I didn't feel like driving to the beach which was kinda my choice and two, I could always just call my Dad on the phone to tell him what was on my mind. It wouldn't be the same though.

Considering that whole plan went down the drain, I spent my last day home chilling in my PJ's with Sofia. We binge watched Netflix movies pretty much all day.

And now, here I am, in my hotel room, ignoring one of Juan's calls for the third time in twenty minutes. He's been texting and calling since we got to the hotel. We got here at around 8 pm and now it's 10. So basically, I've been ignoring him for like two hours. I've been ignoring him because if I'm being honest, I'm freaked out. As much as I hate admitting it, Im starting to really like Juan. The intense, horrible feeling of jealousy when I saw Juan with all those girls at the club the other night just confirmed that I definitely had feelings for him.

I'm getting ready for bed when I get a knock on my door. I groan, walking over to answer it. I'm almost certain I know who it is too. Yup. "Hey, Juan. What's up?" I ask, leaving the door open for him to walk in if he wants to as I make my way back to my bed.

"Why aren't you answering any of my calls or texts?" he asks, leaning against the wall that's right in front of me.

I stiffen at his question. Wow. I didn't expect him to be so straight forward about this. "Uh...." I look away from his intense stare awkwardly. "What do you mean?"

"Come on," he says, giving me a knowing look. "just answer the question."

I shrug. "I don't know...I haven't felt the best lately."

"Is this about the other night? At the club? Because Cami, I told you noth—"

"It's not about that Juan." I cut him off, sounding harsher then I meant to. "We've just been too—" I struggle to find the right words so I just come out with the first that pops into mind. Which is the truth. "we've been acting too much like a couple lately. I mean, the late night talks, deep conversations, hell, I spent the night with you and all we did was kiss! No sex!" I exclaim.

"Because you got all freaked out and pushed me away!" he throws his arms up in the air, clearly upset by what I just said.

"Whatever. The thing is, we're not sticking with what we had originally planned. Just sex." I remind him.

"So, what? You want me to be some asshole who sleeps with you and then doesn't even talk to you afterwards?" he asks, rolling his eyes.

No. I sigh, running my hands through my still damp hair. "It just seems like feelings are getting involved..." I say quietly, too scared that he might see past me—see the feelings that are quickly starting to develop for him within me.

I look down at my lap, toying with my fingers. My eyes widen when I see Juan's shoes on the floor right in front of me. He grabs both my hands in his. I quickly look up to meet his intense stare. "Would that be such a bad thing?" he asks quietly.

I gulp, my mouth suddenly too dry for me to even form a full sentence. "W-what are you talking about, Juan?" I ask through a shaky voice.

His thumbs rub little circles onto the top of my hands, in a calming motion. "Would it be so bad for feelings to be involved? For us to have developed feelings?" he asks, shrugging with a smile so tiny you probably couldn't see it unless you were as close to him as I am right now.

My hands begin shaking, my heart beat gets faster, and the nervous knot I feel in my stomach doubles in size. I quickly take my hands out of Juan's grip. "Yes. Yes, it would be. We can't Juan." standing up abruptly, I cause him to stumble back. I begin pacing the room.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because we just can't." I turn, looking back at him. Oh god. Here's this awesome guy who is practically confessing that he too has feelings for me and I can't even admit that I would love for this to be more then just sex. I'm still too messed up from my last relationship to even be able to start anything new with Juan.

He opens his mouth to say something but I immediately cut him off, saying something that I know is potentially going to ruin a chance for any type of relationship between the both of us. "We should just end it." I spit out quickly. The look of hurt in his eyes leaves me feeling as if an eighteen wheeler has just come crashing into me. "I-I just don't want anyone getting hurt."