11:11

Sixty-Three

"Camila." I snap my attention towards Jackie. "What's up with you?" she asks.

I shake my head. "No, nothing. I'm fine. What were you telling me?" I've been back home for a week now, and every now and then, my head drifts off to thoughts of Juan. Of his smile, of his smell, of his kisses. Everything. I really thought ending things for sure with him was going to clear my head of him, but it really hasn't. Day by day I stop thinking of him more and more though. That has to be a good sign, right?

"I was asking you when you leave again." she says.

"Oh okay. Uh, like another two and a half weeks." I nod. "Why?"

She shrugs. "So we can hang out a few more times from now to then. You're never around anymore."

I smile sadly. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. This tour is more than halfway over already though. It'll be no time until I'm back home all the time."

"Would you go back for a second tour?"

I shrug. "I don't know...maybe. It's been a super cool experience so far." I nod.

"So..." she trails off and I already know what she's planning on asking me. "what exactly happened between you and Juan?"

I shake my head. "I don't wanna talk about it right now, Jackie. Maybe some other time. I'm trying to get him off my mind."

She nods. "Yeah, okay."

***

"Are you excited to go back?" asks Sabrina over the phone. Sabrina lives in Houston with her fiancé Ben, which kind of sucks for us because we haven't been able to see each other in about two weeks, which is way longer than what we've become used to.

I shrug. "I don't know. Kind of. I don't feel any type of way about going back. I'm bored at home though, so the traveling should be fun." I say with a small laugh.

"Yeah, definitely. I'm gonna miss Ben though." I can just hear the frown she has on her face through the phone.

I smile, standing from my couch to go into the kitchen. "Yeah, I know. Well you've still got a few days with him, so enjoy them."

"You know I am." she laughs. "We've barely even left our bedroom since I got back."

I scrunch up my nose, opening the freezer. "Okay, I don't think Ben would appreciate you telling me that." I laugh.

"Probably not."

"Definitely not." I say. Ben was handsome, exactly what I would expect for Sabrina's fiancé. A tall, blonde, and athletically built guy. From the first time I met him I knew he was the perfect man for her. He was a talker, but not as much as Sabrina. He's a realtor I think. Sabrina and him make a cute couple. She had a beautiful glow to her when they're together, it was amazing to see. I'm secretly kind of jealous of how much they clearly love each other. I want that.

Her laugh snaps me out of my thoughts. "Yeah, you're right. I'm just gonna shut up about that. Anyway, what have you been up to the last two weeks?"

I put the phone on speaker, setting it on my counter as I pull out a spoon for my ice cream. "Nothing much. Just hanging out with my friends and family. I missed them a lot." I nod.

"Yeah, same. I can't wait to see you again though."

I smile. "Yeah, me either."

"How do you think things are gonna be between you and Juan once we go back?" she asks after a few moments.

"Good I hope. These two weeks have helped me clear my head a lot. I'm just glad I can finally at least start trying to get over him." I nod.

She stays silent for a while, making me look down at the screen to make sure she's even still there. "Do you want to move on from him? Honestly."

"I..." I trail off, thinking whether or not I want to tell the truth. "I don't know. Not really, but I just cant picture myself trusting him again like I used to. I just cant. At least not right now. And I don't want him to still be consistently on my mind. I just want it to be done with. If somewhere down the line, I feel I can trust him again, yeah, maybe we can give it another try, but I don't want to push anything right now. He has every right to move on as well. I want him to. Or to at least try."

"Yeah," her tone is understanding, and I can tell she's probably nodding. "I get it, Camila. I'm so sorry this all had to happen. You guys should be together right now."

I let out a loud sigh. "Yeah, well that's life. Things just don't always work out the way we want them to, and that's just something I'm gonna have to learn to deal with."

"Well, I'm here if you ever want to talk about this any more."

I nod, smiling. "Yeah, I know-" I turn my head at the sound of a knock at the front door. "Hey, my best friend just got here, we'll talk soon, alright?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll call you soon. Bye, have fun!"

I smile. "Thanks, bye."