11:11

Sixty-Two

I let the door shut again, leaning against it, waiting for him to say something. He stands there, with his arms crossed over his chest, looking at me. "I..." he begins pacing back and forth in front of me. He stops in front of me after a few seconds, running his hands over his face. "Fuck," he lets out a loud sigh, shaking his head. "I just miss you. That's all." he shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest again.

I gulp loudly. "Yeah..." nodding, I grip my purse, not knowing what else to do. "I do too." I admit quietly.

"I fucked everything up, and I know that." he nods. "Believe me, I know that. It's all I've thought about these last two months." he chuckles weakly, shaking his head. "But..." he goes on. "is there any way we can ever go back to what we once had?"

I take a deep breath in, shrugging. "I...dont know." I answer honestly. "Maybe? I just dont know." I look down, not wanting to get emotional in front of him. "You really hurt me, Juan..."

I look up and he nods quickly. "Yeah, I know." he answers quietly.

"And I'm not just hurt. I'm pissed too." I say with a shrug.

"I completely understand why."

I sigh, shaking my head. "Yeah, thats where I'm at right now. Hurt and pissed."

He takes a step closer to me, cupping my face in his hands. "I am so sorry, Cami." he frowns, shaking his head. "I never meant to hurt you. Ever."

I let out a shaky breath, already feeling tears burning my eyes. "But you did. And I cant just forgive you for that so easily. You fucking knew how many trust issues I had coming into this relationship with you, and you lied as if all of that meant nothing to you." I feel anger arise in me, but I'm able to control it. My tears on the other hand, fall freely.

He sighs, wiping the hot tears off my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. "I am so fucking sorry, Camila." he shakes his head. "You didnt deserve for me to lie to you. God, I feel like such an asshole."

I look up at him and he keeps his hands on my cheeks. He looks sorry. I know he is. But I cant bring myself to forgive him. "I know you're sorry. I believe you when you say that, but I don't trust you anymore." I shake my head. "I cant trust you anymore. And a relationship cant survive without at least some trust. And I don't have any trust for you anymore." I take a step back, taking his hands off of me.

He looks down, nodding. "Is there anything I could ever do to make you trust me again?" he asks.

I shrug and then shake my head. "I-I dont think so. Not right now at least. I need a break from us. A real break. These past two months havent been a break from us at all. All I've thought about is you and where our relationship really stood." I let out a shaky breath. "Now that we've talked, I can stop thinking about this."

"What does a 'break' mean?" he asks.

"It means that I want to move on from this." I say, feeling my heart sink at the look on his face once I've said it. He looks like the wind has been knocked out of him. "We can both try to move on from this. Look, I can forgive you for what you did. There's no harsh feelings, I forgive you. I just...dont trust you anymore. And now we can move forward from here on out, okay?" he nods slowly. "I want to keep working with you, it's been amazing, so lets just...try to be okay with each other..." I trail off. "Unless you think it's best I stop working as one of your dancers."

He shakes his head quickly. "No, no. You're one of the best dancers on that team, its alright. You have to keep working with us."

I smile. "Thank you. But, uh, yeah...I just want to move on from all of this. I dont want what happened to keep me up at night like it has been for a whole two months, I just want to be able to breathe again." I inhale sharply, nodding. I reach for both of his hands, taking them in mine. "We can move on and act as if nothing ever happened, right?"

"Is that really what you want?"

I dont know. "Yes." with a small smile, I nod.

He smiles sadly. "Okay. Yes, I can do that. For you I'll try." he nods, looking down at our hands that are still holding each other.

I pull him in for a hug. "Thank you." I say quietly, trying not to cry. "You're amazing."

He pulls back, shaking his head. "No, you are." with a sad smile, he kisses my cheek gently. "I love you Camila." he doesnt wait for me to say anything back, he just gives me one last look and turns around, walking towards the elevators.

I lean again my door again, watching him until he gets into the elevator, feeling my heart break as the doors of the elevator shut, leaving me alone in the hallway.