11:11

Fifty-One

"I wasn't too rough, was I?" he asks, turning onto his side. I stay on my back, looking up at the cieling.

I smile, shaking my head as he places a strand of hair behind of my ear. "Definitely not. That was...the best ever." I laugh, turning my head to look at him.

He grins, biting his lip. "It was, wasn't it?" he kisses my neck. "I just felt everything in my body shaking to kick his ass. I felt so tense. I had to get it out of my system somehow."

"Well I'm glad this is the route you took." I laugh. He chuckles as well. We stay silent for a few moments before I also turn on my side. "You know," I trace little circles on his chest, looking down. "I've seen a completely different side of you these past two days. Not a pretty one. Well, that side of you a few moments ago, I don't mind at all." I joke, trying to keep this conversation from turning too serious.

I look up to see him with a barely there smile on his face. So my joke didn't work as much as I would have wanted it to. "I know. I'm so sorry this whole trip has turned into you seeing me so angry."

I shake my head. "No, I mean, these are serious circumstances, I understand why you've been so angry." I take a deep breath in. "I'm just...not used to seeing this side of you. I didn't even know you had a side like this to you."

"Everyone has a side like this to them, Cami." he shrugs. "It just depends on the situation that triggers it for each person. This most definitely brought it out for me."

"I don't like it, Juan." I shake my head slowly. "It scared me. How you can just get so angry that sometimes its like you don't even hear me."

He nods. "I know. I know it scared you, and I'm sorry."

"We're supposed to feel safe around each other, not scared." I say quietly. I don't want to hurt his feelings with what I'm saying.

His eyebrows furrow up in confusion. "Do you not feel safe around me anymore? Are you scared of me?" he asks, the hurt is clear in his voice.

"No. I mean, I feel safe but-"

He shakes head, caressing my cheek with the pad of his thumb. "Camila, I would never lay a hand on you. You know that, don't you?" he asks.

I nod. "Yeah. It's just...I don't know."

He sits up, grabbing one of the blankets we slept with last night and pulls it over his body. Not wanting to be laying down as he has a serious conversation with me, I also sit up, grabbing some of the blanket to cover my bare body. "Camila, I love you. I'm never going to lay a hand on you. Ever. Do you understand that?" he stares deeply into my eyes as he says this.

I smile a little, happy to hear him say this when he's actually sober. "I know you would never lay a hand on me, Juan. Believe me, we wouldn't have done what we just did if I were scared of you." we both chuckle lightly. "I just can't help but get scared when you're that angry. Not because I think you're gonna hurt me, but because I just don't like it. It's not you." I look down and give his hand a gentle squeeze. "I love the playful, cute, and funny Juan." I smile, nudging him playfully.

"Love?" he asks, raising his eyebrows at me.

I roll my eyes. "Not the point. I'm saying I don't like you when you're mad. So let's just try to keep angry Juan away."

He nods. "Agreed. And I really am sorry for ever making you feel scared while you're around me. It'll never happen again." he smiles, kissing my cheek gently.

"Thank you."

"Now back to that part about love. Because that's what you said, right?" I smile, rolling eyes at the teasing tone in his voice.

I shrug. "Maybe. I don't know." I look up a him. "You're the one who straight up said it."

"Because I do." he nods. "I love you."

I lean forward, pressing my lips against his. "I...do too." he moves away, giving me a look of surprise. "Maybe? I don't know." I laugh. "This is so weird to me."

He smiles. "It means the world to me that you 'maybe' love me." he chuckles, kissing me softly. 

"I do love you." I nod, hugging him tightly. I wrap my arms around his neck, resting my chin on his shoulder. 

He gives me a tight squeeze before pulling away slowly. "Do you mean it? I don't want you to feel pressured to say it back, Cami. If you don't right now, I know we're gonna get there." he shrugs. 

I shake my head, smiling. "No. I do. I love you." I laugh, loving to hear it come out of my mouth. "I love you, Juan." 

He smiles. His smile isn't wide, but I just know he's so happy that I'm finally letting my biggest wall down. "I cant believe I'm actually hearing you say that." he lets out a short chuckle.

"I know, right?" I nod. "It sounds weird coming out of my mouth, huh?" 

He nods, kissing me. "Yeah, but I could get used to it." 

I rest my forehead against his. "I do though. I love you. So much. You just...you've made really happy, Juan." I nod, feeling my eyes sting with tears. Why am I getting emotional? Fuck. 

"Hey," he smiles, lifting up my chin so that we're looking into each others eyes. "you've made me really happy too, Cami. The happiest. I love when you're with me. You have no idea how much I fucking missed you while you were in LA." 

"I really missed you too." I nod, smiling. 

He stands, "Care to join me for another shower? I've gotta wash all this sweat off." he smirks, stretching a hand out to me. 

"Sure." I nod, taking his hand, keeping my other hand on the sheet that's wrapped around my body. "I'll repay you for that little treat you gave me earlier while we're at it." I grin as we walk up the stairs.