11:11

Fifty-Seven

"He lied to me. Straight up lied. Just to get what he wanted."

Sabrina frowns after I've told her everything that happened last night as well as early this morning. "I'm so sorry, Camila."

I nod. "Yeah..." I say, picking at my half eaten plate.

"He shouldn't have lied, I can agree with you on that, but are you really not talking to him ever again?" she asks with wide eyes.

I sigh, shrugging. "I don't know. I do know that I don't want to talk to him right now. At least not for now."

"You know he didn't lie to you with ill intent, right?"

"I don't care why he lied to me. The point is he lied." I say, crossing my arms over my chest. "He lied and he should've just been honest. What he should've done was tell me the truth and let me make my decision on whether or not I wanted to be with him based on the truth." I shake my head. "Not on lies."

She nods slowly. "Yeah...okay. I understand where you're coming from."

"I've been lied to before, been made look fucking stupid, and I'm not dealing with that bullshit ever again. I don't care how strong my feelings are for him, I'm not letting this go easily." she nods, looking at me silently. "God, he makes me so mad." I groan, covering my face with my hands. ]

I feel Sabrina's hand on my shoulder, rubbing back and forth in a comforting manner. "I know, I know."

I uncover my face when she pulls her arm back again. "It's not even what he lied about. I could've handled the fact that he was probably going to sleep with her had I not interrupted them. Yes, it would've hurt, but at least then I could've made up my own mind on whether or not I wanted to be with him again. And you know what? I probably would've taken him back because he was being honest with me about it." I scoff shaking my head. I quickly wipe at my teary eyes.

"I don't even know what to say Camila." she frowns. "I'm so sorry he did that to you." she pushes her hair out of her face, sitting up a little. "Maybe he felt like it was just a white lie. Like it wasn't gonna be a big deal. That it wasn't gonna hurt you. If he knew that lying to you was going to hurt you this much I know he would've never done it. And you know that too."

I nod. "Maybe...but he did. He lied. And I don't know how long its going to take me to forgive him, or if I ever will forgive him." I stare out of the window that's next to us, to the hotel where we're staying. "Can we go? I just want to go to bed."

"Yeah." she nods, smiling sadly.

***

I spend the rest of my day cooped up in my room, ignoring calls and texts from Juan. It got so bad that I just had to shut it off and throw in under the bed. I'm grateful for the fact that he didn't try knocking on my door though, I might've opened if he had.

Trying to get out of going to the show, was a no-go considering I just got back, and skipping a show wouldn't look the best right now. I'm just glad I don't have to dance tonight. I can just sit around in the dressing rooms. "Camila can we go talk for a second?" I look up from my phone quickly, my eyes wide when I see Juan walk into the dressing room. Everyone's eyes are on us. Why would he come in right now that everybody is here?

"Sure..." I give everyone a fake smile, standing up and following Juan out of the dressing room, not missing the way they all glare at me. Its not like I could've said no. Then people would definitely think something was up. I follow him into his personal dressing room quietly, waiting until we're inside to talk. "Way to keep things on the down low." I scoff, shaking my head.

"Yeah, sorry." he looks down sheepishly with his hands in his pockets.

"What do you want?"

"Can we please just talk this out?" he asks, taking a step towards me, causing me to take two back.

I shake my head. "I don't want to talk to you right now Juan, do you not get that?"  I ask, my voice already sharp and cold.

"Then let me do the talking."

I roll my eyes. "You have a show to get to."

"I don't care about that right now. It's the last fucking thing on my mind right now." he shakes his head. "Please let me explain?"

Before I even have a chance to say anything, there's a light knock at the door. "Juan?" Miguel, Juan's manager's head peeps through the door. "You have to get out there." he opens the door wider. "Come on." he gestures for Juan to walk out.

Juan lets out a big sigh. "We'll finish this later, okay?"

I don't nod or shake my head, just stand there, looking at him. He stares at me for a moment longer, waiting for me to give him a response. "Juan." Miguel says again.

"Fuck, I'm going, Miguel." Juan snaps. "We'll finish this later?" he asks again, wanting me to say yes.

"Just go." I say, shaking my head.

He curses under his breath, storming out of the room. "You're free to go to the hotel if you want. I know you guys aren't doing great right now.." Miguel gives me a tight smile.

I call out to him as he turns to walk out of the room. "You-you know?" I ask.

He nods. "Yeah. He told me. Look, he fucked up, but just consider giving him another chance, alright?" he doesn't wait for me to answer, turning and walking out of the room.

Fuck. I hate this. I walk out of the room slowly, catching a glimpse of Juan the second before he gets on stage. The energy he presents on stage does not mirror his real life at the moment, and I stare in awe of how easily he can turn the switch and act like nothings happened. He was made to be a performer.