Addicted // Brad Simpson

Thirty Four

BRAD'S POV

'Baby, I'm here now. Unlock the door, please' I sighed, knocking on her bathroom door. She didn't respond which made me start to panic.

'Quinn! Let me in, please. I just wanna hold you, I don't like to hear you crying on your own' I begged. Few seconds later, I can hear the door unlock. I slowly opened the door and saw Quinn sat in the corner with her knees to her chest.

'I can't control it' She sobbed. I sat down on the floor and she sat on my lap. I hugged her so tight in my arms, I could feel her entire body shaking.

'What brought this on? When I left, you seemed to be okay?' I asked, confused.

'I was reading comments on my recent Instagram post and my recent video on YouTube. I started to feel so fake and I hate myself for it' She explained.

'No, baby no. Why would you do that to yourself?' I sighed. I stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. 'Why didn't you call me? I would've come straight back!' I said.

'I didn't want to ruin your day' She sobbed breathlessly.

'Come on now, breathe for me please' I held her hand as I could see that she was trying to grab my hand but couldn't reach. Holding my hand is like a comfort blanket for her.

'I hate myself so much. I don't understand why people look up to me so much. I don't understand why you love me. You deserve someone better than me' She sighed, wiping her tears and looked away.

'Hey hey, don't say that!' I said in a serious tone. I'm not having any of this. I'm not gonna listen to her doubting herself. 'You're my girlfriend. You're my best friend. You're my soul mate. I love you so much that it pains me to ever imagine a world without you. So, we're gonna get through this together, wether you like it or not. I'm not letting you go through this alone. It's what I'm here for' I explained. She started sobbing again, burying her head into my chest. I stroked her hair and gently rested my head on top of her head.

'But I'm not here for you and I'm such a bad girlfriend. I can't control myself. Why am I always having breakdowns? I'm so tired of feeling like this. I'm in a dark cloud all the time and I don't want you to go through this. I'm miserable and I don't want you to be sad' She frowned.

'I don't care, you can push me away all you like. I'm not going anywhere because I know you don't mean this' I kissed her cheek several times. 'There is nothing wrong with you. This is perfectly normal for you to have emotions like this, babe. You're going through a tough time and that's okay, we'll get through it' I smiled at her. She looked away again and shook her head. She wasn't fully listening to me and it really does hurt me a lot seeing her like this. Sure, she had breakdowns before but this is different, it's almost like she's giving up. She's not trying anymore and I'm worried I'm gonna lose her.

'Can you go please?' She spoke quietly, looking at the floor.

'Why?' I asked. I placed my hands on her cheeks and turned her head gently to look at me.

'Because I know you're sad and I don't want you to listen to me and my demons' She wiped her tears with her jumper sleeves.

'I don't like my baby being upset. If that's what you really want, I'll let you have your space. But I'll be right outside the door if you need me' I sighed. I kissed her before I walked away. I closed the bathroom door halfway and I sat on the floor. I could see Quinn's hand poking out, she wanted to hold my hand. I held her hand and sat in silence.

'I love you' I kissed her hand. She didn't reply but I know she heard it and I hope she believed it. We sat in silence for another 10 minutes. She opened the bathroom door and hugged me in silence.