Addicted // Brad Simpson

Thirty Eight

Another day of waking up in this boring hospital room, in a bed that is so uncomfortable it's like sleeping on rocks. I honestly feel so drained, that I can't even move. I don't have the energy to move. I don't want to move. I don't even want to see anyone.

I turned over on my side, hugging the pillow and stared out the window. It's a cloudy and rainy day. Just like how I feel. After hearing the news yesterday, I can't process anything anymore. It goes over my head. I didn't take it in. I didn't listen to every word properly. All I heard was MDMA. Spiked. Collapsed. Seizure.

'Hey' I heard Brad say as he knocked on the door. I sighed and ignored him. 'Can I come in or shall I come another time?' He asked. I ignored him.

'Baby please talk' He sighed. Hearing the sadness in his voice is exactly why I don't want to see him. I just bring too much sadness into his life and he doesn't need any of this.

'Can you just go, p-please?' I stuttered, trying not to cry.

'Not until you tell me why' He demanded. He sat on the bed and reassuringly rested his hand on my thigh. I've missed his touch so much.

'I can't. It breaks me to even hear myself say this' I sobbed. He wrapped me around in his arms so tight, not saying anything.

'Don't do this' He quietly whispered in my ear. My heart can't take this anymore.

'All I do is make you sad. I bring too much sadness in your life. In their lives too, Ella doesn't need this. The boys don't need this stress. My family don't either. You're all better off without me' I shrugged my shoulders and wiped my tears. 'So Brad, can you please just leave?' I asked. He let go of me and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

'Why are you doing this? You had a fucking seizure in my arms. IN MY ARMS. Do you have any idea how scared I was, my fucking girlfriend was in a lot of pain and I couldn't do anything to help. Tell me Quinn, how is this any of your fault? It's not like you chose to have a seizure' He raised his voice at me. He was not gonna let me go and he was gonna fight for me.

'I'm sorry you had to go through that. That's exactly why I can't let you stay here anymore' I sighed.

'Quinn, come on. You know better than this' He shook his head. He held my hand softly and kissed my forehead.

'I love you' I said as I turned over, not wanting to see him. 'I'm going to sleep, so shut the door on your way out please' I quietly spoke, as I didn't want him to hear my voice shake.

//

BRAD'S POV -

I know she doesn't mean this. This is not a break. This is not a break up. This is not the end. I'm not giving up. She's in such a dark place, deeper than ever. I'm so worried about her. I'm so worried for her safety. She's going to push everyone away and she's going to want to be alone for a while. I'm going to let her think that I'm gone, but really I'm going to stay in the waiting room for days, weeks even until she's ready to see me again.

'How is she?' Tristan asked, standing up as he saw me walk in the waiting room.

'Mate' I started crying. 'I can't even tell you how broken she is. And I'm so useless' I sobbed in Tristan's arms. I normally don't let anyone see me cry and I certainly don't cry in public. This is the first time I've cried in public and I didn't care.

'Dude what happened? Do you want me to talk to her?' Connor asked.

'Don't' I sighed. 'She's just gonna tell you to go away. She's gone to sleep anyway' I said.

'What happened?' Connor repeated. We sat down and I explained to them what just happened and they couldn't believe it.

'That's just not like her. I'm sorry but no' James shook his head in disbelief.

'What happened to our Quinn?' Tristan sighed. He buried his head into his hands.

'She'll come back' I said. I'd like to think she'll come back. 'I'm just so scared. I'm so worried that she's gone, like she's physically there but not mentally and emotionally with us' I sighed. I hate thinking like this. Literally this time last week, we'd be in bed, just cuddling and kissing and tickling each other. I'd do anything right now to have that moment again.