Hilarious Texts And Tales Of The Clone Wars

Savage's Questions That Need To Be Answered

Savage: hi guys.

Maul: bro, I'm busy what do you want?

Grevious: same

Dooku: oh, my failed apprentice, what do you want?

Ventress: I thought I was your failed apprentice

Dooku: -shrugs-

Savage: ...well basically, I just had some questions I needed to know

Ventress: seriously? You interrupted my push up training for that?

Grevious: ?

Ventress: what? I can do like pretty much any other fight move except a pushup. Its embarrassing

Maul: same, except its sit ups for me.

Grevious: that's why I got a robotic body!

Savage: so, first I wanted to know, why do we have eyebrows?

Dooku:

Ventress: wait but you don't even have eyebrows. I don't either. Or Ahsoka Tano

Maul: neither do I

Grevious: me neither. Heck, I don't even have a nose

Count Dooku: I have eyebrows. They just make you look more menacing

Ventress: that's why I draw them on my face. Plus it makes me look creepier

Grevious: I always wondered why you went around dressed like a creepy witch

Ventress: um, that's because I am a creepy witch

Maul: of course.

Savage: now, I also have another question

Maul: -sighs- go on

Savage: would it be weird if I started wearing sneakers?

Dooku: ????

Grevious: Sith's these days....

Ventress: seriously? WHAT KIND OF LORD OF THE SITH THINKS ABOUT WEARING SNEAKERS??

Maul: what are you trying to do, embarrass me to death? That's worse than being chopped in half!

Savage: well I just wondered. I mean these sith boots are just sooo uncomfortable and they bug the chicken out of me! Sneakers would be way more comfortable!

Maul: sure, just go right out on the battle field wearing sneakers

Savage: yay!

Ventress: ....he was being sarcastic

Savage: oh

Grevious: that's why I don't wear shoes. Their so annoying. Robotic legs are way better

Maul: eh, that is kind of true

Dooku: okay, I thought the jedi were insane, but now I realize all of the sith lords are too

Ventress: well I'm a bounty hunter now, so you must be talking about yourself

Dooku: there are so many reasons I got rid of you my apprentice. Mainly because you spilled yogurt on my floor, but your sarcastic comments too

Ventress: whatever old man

Savage: ah, that reminds me of another question. Why does Count Dooku look like Santa Claus?

Count Dooku:

Ventress: lolololololol. I've been trying to tell him that for ages! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that!

Count Dooku: I am a sith lord! And the leader of the separatist, and here you all are, calling me Santa Claus

Maul: in a way that's like saying Darth Sidious looks like the grim reaper

Ventress: I mean, he does

Grevious: and you look like someone with cancer

Ventress: excuse me?!?!

Savage: well I mean you are bald, and you look sort of sickly-

Ventress: say another thing like that and you'll be right beside a person with cancer

Savage: ....

Maul: dang, girl that was savage

Count Dooku: I see that both ways

Savage: and also, I wanted to know, is it weird if I wash my head with shampoo even if I don't have any hair?

Grevious: dang, this dude is super weird

Maul: uh, idk? It doesn't really matter

Ventress: he means nobody cares

Count Dooku: I would. I mean how would you keep your horns clean?

Maul: um, theres this special type of lotion I use called horn-ditioner. It's basically like shampoo except its meant for horns

Savage: I knew there was some secret to how you had perfect horns! Mine are always so jagged.

Ventress: that's probably also because you impell people with them

Count Dooku: still, its important to shower at least every other day

Ventress: (he litterly has his own spa)

Grevious: I haven't showered in months though, and you've never noticed

Count Dooku: eww, how disgusting

Maul: that explains why you always escape then. You smell too bad for any jedi to fight you properly

Grevious: ....that was a bit insulting

Savage: one more thing...um, what do I do if I was trying to do my laundry and I accidentally caught the washing machine on fire?

Count Dooku:

Maul: well that explains the burning smell. Quick, throw that hand sanitizer on it!

Lololololo. I loved making this chapter.

Meme of the week:

Omg, I laughed for 5 minutes straight. I can't even- 😂😂😂😂😂

Now, just a few more hours until I can see the siege of Mandolore part 2. No spoilers! And be ready for next weeks chapter you all....it may just be my favorite one yet.