Hilarious Texts And Tales Of The Clone Wars

How The Sith Stole Christmas

Darth Sidious: What the chicken happened to this place Count Dooku?

Count Dooku: Forgive me master. It-I-

Ventress: What the freak? Who put Christmas lights all over my ship!

Maul: I found gingerbread in my shoes. I will tackle the culprit and make them pay for their stupidity

Ventress: What the heck, I can't go driving around. It'll look like I'm in a glowing easter egg

Count Dooku: -sighs- Someone replaced my garb with a santa suit

Savage: Hey guys!

Darth Sidious: Savage Opress. Have you also been ambushed by this Christmas attacker?

Savage: What? Are you talking about the wreath? Yeah, I couldn't get it to stay up on the wall. It almost knocked me out the first time it fell

Maul: YOU put these decorations up???

Ventress: You trashed my ship???

Savage: What? It's Christmas! I-I wanted to get festive

Darth Sidious: Sith don't celebrate Christmas you foolish zebra!

Ventress: We grinch it!

Savage: But the Christmas spirit!

Maul: Why did you replace my chocolate milk with this...egg stuff?

Savage: Eggnog? Come on, its festive, and it tastes good

Ventress: Clean out my ship that you trashed!

Count Dooku: I just want my clothes back. There is no way I am going to wear this "santa suit"

Savage: -sighs- I should've guessed you guys wouldn't want to celebrate Christmas. How come we never celebrate anything?

Darth Sidious: We celebrate revenge of the fifth!

Maul: And we celebrate every time I have came close to killing Kenobi

Ventress: That time you thought he died by a sofa falling on top of him was overkill. Like, who dies by a sofa?

Savage: Right. Tom and Jerry never die by that kind of stuff

Ventress: Tom and- what?

Savage: Nothing.

Count Dooku: Why did you place my clothes in the freezer???

Savage: Um...just because?

Maul: Savage...if you thought I was the weird brother, you are quite wrong

Darth Sidious: I want this place cleaned back up. It looks very unprofessional, and like we've been compromised by elves

Ventress: Uggg, I can't even go to the grocery store because my ship looks ridiculous

Savage: Sorry guys. I just, I thought, you know, us bad guys could have fun

Count Dooku: Why do you think I have a foozeball table?

Ventress: I thought that thing was a bomb in case someone took over your lair

Count Dooku: ...It can have two purposes my apprentice

Ventress: Sure...

Savage: -sighs- Fine, I'll start cleaning up

So they all clean up the Christmas decor

Savage: You know, I feel guilty about burning the candy canes in the oven. I mean, those were homade ones from the underworld