Figure It Out [Rihanna/You]

PT.2 C H A P T E R TWENTY-FOUR

October 31st, Halloween
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"What are you thinking about so hard?"

I looked back at Sophia as I slid a book into the bookcase. "Nothing, why?"

A small smile pulled at her lips. "Whenever you're thinking intently you start messing with my books." I looked down at the four books in my hand, not realizing I was reorganizing her stuff. To be fair, she was terrible at organizing her stuff. "So, want to talk about it?"

"Yes. You had small books in the middle of tall books. It makes it looks so.. messy and unkempt." She gave me a look as I slid the books into a better looking spot. "Fine okay um.. I can't wrap my head around something."

Sitting down in the chair in front of her, I crossed on leg and picked at the stray string from the chair. "When I was.. taken advantage of," she nodded. "Something happened."

"Something you don't understand?" I nodded and she studied me for a moment as if she could already tell what I was thinking. "Something with your body?"

"Yes." I mumbled, my throat clearing. "I obviously didn't want it to happen but it did and.. and it was.." I sighed and rubbed down my face. I couldn't even believe the words that were going to leave my mouth. "When it was happening I.. I like.." I made a motion with my hands and her head tilted. "I.. what's the fancy term for it, ejaculated?"

She hummed and nodded. "Y/n that's normal." My eyes shot wide at her nonchalance. "Our bodies respond to touch, sensations. It doesn't happen to everyone but it does happen. You have a much more sensitive appendage than many women so a touch triggers you, no matter the circumstances."

This entire time I thought I was fucking sick because of what happened. I even had thought where my mind went to 'maybe you did like it' and here I was just now finding out.. wow.

"So you're saying even though that happened it doesn't mean I wanted it?" She nodded with a small smile. "Wow..."

"It's a very confusing thing, I know. Our bodies are so weird sometimes that some things seem to not make sense. Fear and confusion and the sensation of touch sends crazy signals to the brain. Now imagine all three happening at the same time." I hummed as I leaned back into the chair, her words lifting a weight off of my shoulders. "Have you talked with your fiancée about it?"

"Not really. She heard the story as I was telling it to the detective but not directly. I'm scared to.. start getting intimate with her again." She nodded in understanding. "What if I freeze up or get a flashback midway?"

Her eyes were soft and never indifferent which made it so easy for me to talk. "Some people can get back into it easily, some need years before they can even think about it. It's all about communication, Y/n. Talk to her, tell her your fears and ease into it. Note any triggers and tell her about them. Trust is the biggest factor in any relationship, especially with what's happening with you."

"I trust her. One hundred percent." I said with a nod and she smiled. "And I want to be with her again, in that way. It's been a month and I do want her and I know she feels the same because she's way more.. needy than me, in that way. How do I even start that conversation?"

Sophia chuckled softly. "Exactly how you started it with me." My eyebrows furrowed as she shrugged. "This is your fiancée, you trust her. Start off with telling her you're scared, scared of how you'll react to intimacy again. Then start slow. Try to remember when you're in the moment that this is your fiancée who you trust. Someone who loves and cares about you. Shift your mind from sexual assault to sexual healing, which is also a very productive thing."