Wish I Had Time For Complicated

64. It Was When I Met You, Michael

Song "heal" tom odell

Sara only noticed that there was a presence next to her when someone sat a seat away from her.And the doc almost had a damn heart attack when her hazel eyes seized Michael just two seats away from her.He was looking straight ahead,his blue pools focused on the burning calm flames of the lit candles and they reflected so beautifully in his eyes.

He seemed so unfazed that she was here while Sara felt as if she had swallowed her damn tongue and could only stare at him in pure surprise.But she was dead wrong.On the inside Michael was burning and his heart was thumping so hard against his chest that he could hear it.Her lavander scent filled his nostrils again,reminding him of his sinful act last Friday but the engineer quickly brushed it away,swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Doesn't it seem like God is always bringing us together whenever we go" Michael spoke softly,sarcasm and pity lacing his voice and he swallowed hard,trying not to think about how saddening it would be if that were the case really.

Sara's eyes darted to Michael at his sudden words and then darted to the big Jesus icon that was hanging on the painted wall.The silence between them wasn't awkward any more.It was just...silence.Not comfortable, but not tense too.And she wondered if she was the only one who felt it.

"Maybe it has to be that way" her answer was barely a whisper and she almost thought he hadn't heard her but when Michael tilted his head to look at her honest confession,the doc was more than sure he had heard her. There was this distant glint in those eyes of his that she had fallen in love with and continued to.If she only knew what he was thinking.

"Sara..." Michael sighed, feeling defeated and at the same time at war because he was still so madly in love with the woman sitting two seats beside him.

"Michael" she threw in challengingly, her eyes trained on his sharp and gorgeous side profile.But he wouldn't even glance at her.She didn't know how to take that.

"We could never work like this.We're both too hurt and I'm tired."

Michael added,his blue eyes finally meeting hers and the doc swore she could see the eternal battle within himself and as bad as this may have sounded,it gave her hope.Hope that despite the way she broke him,he could allow her in his heart again.She was selfish and foolish,but when it came to Michael, Sara couldn't help but dream big.But of course the reminder that she had destroyed everything brought her down every time.

"You're a wife to another man and I'll forever be damned for still loving you after everything you did to me...but we can't do this.We can't let the cycle repeat itself"

The excitement that suddenly roared in Sara's heart at his declaration that he still loved her surprised her and she felt her pulse quicken.

"You know..." She started to say,licking her dry lips and giving herself time to gather her scattered thoughts so she wouldn't say the right thing.She wanted to convince him she was still worthy of his love and adoration.And she'd fight the whole world it that's what it would take for him to accept her in his heart again.

Over the weekend Sara had had enough time to collect herself and think thru everything that had happened in the past year.And her meeting with Michael last Friday had only fueled her decision.

"When I was using,um,I thought I had a good life... Free needles and morphine from the hospital ,it felt like Christmas every day." A small sad chuckle escaped her lips as she reminisced the times when a needle would constantly pierce her arm and she'd be unaware of most of the surroundings around her.

"I was high all the time,not caring about anything. I operated my patients while intoxicated and no one even knew,they all just thought that's the way I act"

The doc cleared her suddenly dry throat,the distant memory becoming more and more vivid with every word.

"I didn't even look at the men I slept with in the eyes. And then I thought that when I met Dylan I had found true love.I thought I was finally myself,but I wasn't..."

Their eyes met briefly and Michael ignored the itch to catch her fidgeting hands in his own to calm her.She wasn't his anymore...

"It was when I met you Michael,that I found my true self.I was so captivated by you and the way you so unconsciously accepted me for who I was and showed me what it is to really be in love with someone to the point where a break up wasn't even an option." Still,you broke up with him.

Sara hoped that this way he would understand how sorry she was for losing him and how much she still cared for him.How thankful she was to him.And he was there,at an arms reach,but never close enough.

The engineer stood there, patiently listening to his ex and tried to stop the tingling feeling that was overwhelming him.He couldn't let his guard down.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that im so sorry for abandoning you.You mean the world to me and I thought back then that I was protecting you by leaving you, but I see clearly what it did to us.We are miserable without each other.I will break up with him and,um...if you decide you'll ever be able to give me a chance, I'll be here.And it all will be real this time."

The moment Sara's words made their way into Michael's sharp brain,his eyes widened and he felt he might pass out from the rapid beating of his heart.His brain was starting race with all the words she said to him and it felt like a dream to him.

But before he could even proceed to say a coherent word,Sara had gotten up from her seat and Michael watched as the love of his life exited the small chapel,leaving him alone

What the hell had just happened!?...

What do you all think of Sara's confession? Also,who doesn't like double updates :)