Avengers Preferences and Imagines

Lost and Found (Bucky Barnes)

A/N:  This is based on a comment I saw while I was editing my book. But I don't know who commented it so I cant credit them for the great idea, but if it was you thanks for the excellent suggestion. I also can't find the original comment so I'm going based on what I remember about it! Also a heads up: we're gonna ignore timelines again because this is a work of fiction!

Prompt:  You go to war with Bucky and Steve, and end up freezing on the ship with Steve. Both of you are surprised to find Bucky alive years later. Once he's back to himself, a lot of old feelings come to light. 

I stood against the window of the tower, watching the rainfall down around New York City. It had changed so much since I had last seen it in the forties, and I hardly recognized the city that I had once called home. When I had followed my two closest friends to war, I hadn't expected anything to be the same when we returned. But this is so far beyond what I could have ever expected. I had been on that plane with Steve when he had to make the decision to put it in the water. We both knew what we would lose, but we knew that it was the right call. Now that I think back on the events of that day from so long ago, I realize that Steve and I had both been hurting. We had lost Bucky. The three of us had been together for as long as I could consciously remember, and carrying on without him had felt; impossible. Sometimes I wonder if we had only agreed to make that sacrifice because neither of us could imagine living on without Bucky. 

My depressing train of thought was cut short when I heard Steve's voice behind me. "You know you do this every day," he interjected, moving to stand by my side. "I don't have a clue what you're talking about Rogers," I said, trying to sound cheerful for his sake. He fixed me with one of his all-knowing looks and I caved. "We've been back for how long now, and I still can't get over how different it looks. It doesn't feel like home anymore." I said with a sniffle, leaning into Steve's shoulder for comfort. "What else is bugging you (y/nickname). I know there's something else." I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Steve always had a way of knowing when I wasn't telling him the whole truth. "I wish he was here with us Steve. He should be here with us..." I cried, turning towards him so that I could bury my face into Steve's chest. "(y/nickname) I miss him too... but Bucky's gone. All we can do now is do our best to live lives that he would be proud of." I nodded as I dried my tears and stepped away from the window. 

I picked at my food over lunch. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy having lunch with Natasha because I did but today I just couldn't bring my mind to focus on anything other than the friend I missed so dearly. Bucky had been the light of my life, and one of my biggest regrets is that I never told him how I felt about him while I had the chance. I had so many chances, and I passed on every single one of them, and for what? "Earth to (y/n)?" Natasha said, waving a hand in front of my face, snapping me out of it. "Sorry. Just distracted today, sorry." I mumbled. She moved to sit beside me. "Tell me what's bothering you, maybe I can help?" I took a deep breath. It would be nice to talk to someone who wasn't Steve about my problems. I took out the photo of Bucky I always carried in my wallet and placed it on the table in front of her. "This is Bucky, he was my other best friend. We lost him during the war... He was the love of my life. But he was also quite the ladies man; so I never told him how I really felt about him. I never thought he would feel the same way for me. But now I'll never know." I finished with a sad smile. "Oh (y/n) that's awful. Maybe I can set you up with someone? Lots of guys around here have a thing for you, you know?" I shook my head at her, appreciating her effort to cheer me up. "Thanks, Nat, but that ship has sailed. I had my one great love already. Even if we didn't get to be together." She smiled sadly and lead me off to our mission briefing with Steve. 

I wasn't overly impressed with our newest mission. We were literally going to be hunting down a man who could only be described as an unbeatable ghost.  I loved Steve, I did. But bless his heart the man never saw a situation that he thought was impossible. "This guy holds the answers to a lot of important questions, we just have to bring him in," he said confidently.  With Steve's cheerful reassurance, we left the briefing feeling confident. But while we were gearing up, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were getting into something much bigger than we knew. Unsurprisingly, I was right. Although Steve had assured us that we would be able to handle this easily, things had quickly gotten out of control. This mysterious "Winter Soldier" was handing our asses to us with ease. I was entirely focused on our mission until Steve managed to knock the assassin's mask off. Time slowed down for me, as I watched Steve stare in confusion. I almost missed it when he said "Bucky?" thinking that he had to of been mistaken. And then I  stood up from where I had been taking cover and walked out into the street. He didn't seem to recognize Steve, but when he noticed me he froze. "Bucky?" I asked incredulously. I watched recognition flash over his eyes as I fell to my knees on the pavement. The world spun around me as Sam took cuffed him so that we could take him with us; he didn't even put up a fight. "He knows me" I cried to Steve as he crouched down beside me on the street to comfort me. 

I paced the hallways for what felt like hours while the best agents we had did a full psychiatric assessment on Bucky. In order to try and help him, we had to know where to start, but it meant none of us were allowed to see him until it was over, and time was moving slowly today. "I thought I told you to get some rest," Steve asked, as he made his way down the hall towards me. I ran a hand through my still-damp hair. I had managed to shower and change clothes, but couldn't bring myself to sleep. "Did you really think I could sleep?" I asked Steve with a slight smile, and he sighed. "He knew me, Steve," I whispered, continuing to pace the halls. He placed a hand on my shoulder while we waited. "Im not surprised (y/nickname). Buck loved you. That's a very, very powerful thing." My breath hitched in my throat. "He loved me?" I asked Steve with tears in my eyes, but he didn't get a chance to answer me as the door swung open in front of us. "He's asking for you miss." the agent informed me before ushering me into the room. I could hardly contain my emotions as I made my way to the chair. "Do you know me?" I blurted out, unable to stop myself. "Yes. I don't remember but I know that I do,"  he said. His voice was rough and gravelly. I reached across the table to take one of his hands in mine. He tensed at first, but he didn't pull away from me. "We're gonna help ya Buck. Ok?" I asked and he nodded, not letting go of my hand the entire time. 

Many months had passed us by and Bucky had gotten better and better everyday until he was finally back to himself. His past still haunted him, but other than that, he was pretty much back to being Bucky. I was up on the roof of the tower, hiding out under an overhang and listening to the rain, enjoying the warm summer night. I hadn't even noticed that I wasn't alone until I felt Bucky sit down beside me, his knee touching mine. "Hi, Bucks," I whispered, not wanting to speak too loudly and disturb my serenity. He pulled me into his side. He had been doing this a lot lately whenever he was having a rough day, and he would just hold me, and I never turned him away. I also never brought up what Steve had told me that day in the hallway: that Bucky had loved me once, or that I loved him. We sat in silence for what seemed like forever until Bucky finally spoke. "Can I tell you something?" he asked nervously as he fiddled with my hand. I turned around to face him. "Always. You can tell me anything, you know that." I whispered, pressing my forehead to his. "I love you (y/n). It's always been you. Deep down I was always holding out hope that I would find you again. And now I have, and I don't know how to exist in this world without you." he said softly, staring into my eyes. 

Unfortunately, Bucky was cut off by my crying. After longing after him for all these years, and finally hearing him say those words, I came undone. He immediately panicked. "Doll, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have said anything if- Steve said you-" He said, as he stumbled over his words nervously. "Bucky. Hey, no that's not why I was crying. I've been waiting to hear you say that since 1943." I said and we both burst into laughter. Still laughing, Bucky grabbed me and pulled me out into the rain. "Buck! What the hell are we doing?" I said in between laughs as he put a hand on my waist and pulled me close to him. "Well, doll, when I left for England I said I owed you a dance when I got back. So, I believe I still owe you a dance," he said, smiling the biggest smile that I had seen from him since we had gotten him back. We danced through several inaudible songs together, making up for lost time and all the dances we had never had. "Stay with me forever" he whispered, his eyes pleading as he twirling me away from him and brought me back in slowly as our dancing came to an end. "You'll never be alone again Buck, I'm always with you" I promised, closing the distance between us. He dipped me low to the ground and kissed me as if our lives depended on it. I kissed him back eagerly, every bit of longing coming to the surface. Adjusting to this new world was challenging. But I loved Bucky and he loved me. And that was all I needed to finally feel at ease. 

A/N: I haven't decided if I like this one yet. I LOVE the prompt, but my execution of it? Im still on the fence. Today has just been a weird, and kind of awful day for me, so I'm just trying my best. 

Hope everyone is well. 

XOXO, -L