Avengers Preferences and Imagines

The S.H.I.E.L.D Survival Guide: 415

A/N: This one is a bit different than last time because it kind of focuses on Tony as the "main character" of the story. The first segment was just a setup for the series, but the plan is to have each "tip" focus on an actual character and the story behind it based on who I feel best fits the vibe of the tip and the intended plot the best, so that's why no one was really mentioned in the first one! 

Thanks to @writercute77 for suggesting tip 415! 

Word Count: 1,682 

I let out a sigh as my fingers drummed rhythmically on my desktop. I was supposed to have gone home hours ago, but with my job, the list of tasks was never-ending, and late nights with tons of overtime pay were normal for me.

I had been taking a quick break and enjoying the dumplings that I had ordered for dinner when a flyer came dancing under my closed office door. I placed it on my desk and went to check the hallway for any sign of who had slipped it under my door. But as I suspected, the hallway was dark and empty. Of course, it was, it was nearly midnight and everybody deserted their offices hours ago.

I read the flyer as I walked back to my desk and was immediately horrified by what I saw.

"DON YOUR FIGHTING SWAG AND JOIN US IN THE BULLPEN AT MIDNIGHT FOR AN EPIC, CAMPUS-WIDE GAME OF CAPTURE THE FLAG!!! WINNING TEAM GETS A $5,000 GIFT CARD TO (favorite restaurant) A CUSTOM TROPHY AND EPIC BRAGGING RIGHTS FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR!!! DEFENSIVE WEAPONS WILL BE ALLOWED!!!"

After reading only the first sentence of the flyer, there were 3 very apparent things that I knew for certain...

Tony Stark was 100%, without a doubt, the person behind this bullshitTony Stark was in dire need of an ass-kicking I was the person who was going to give it to him

A quick glance at my watch informed me that I only had 5 minutes until midnight, leaving me 4 at best, to keep all hell from breaking loose in the bullpen. I looked over at the wall cabinet across from my desk and groaned as I grabbed the key and opened it. "I swore to myself that I would never have to use this," I mumbled as I snatched the bullhorn from its place on the shelf and ran off towards the bullpen, fearing what I was going to find when I got there.

None of the mental images I had drawn up in the last 3 minutes could have prepared me for the absolute anarchy that was unfolding in the bullpen right before my eyes. The fluorescent lights had been turned off and replaced with red and blue LED lights for the two respective teams. About 50 of our recruits were running around everywhere setting off different colored smoke bombs and helping each other put on "war paint" in their team colors and tying colored bandanas on their heads and around different parts of their bodies and talking about "how much cooler it made their fighting swag look", and 'posing' with the various weapons that they had evidently stolen from lockup.

In fact, the only thing I HAD been prepared for, was Tony Stark in full Ironman armor, standing on a desk he had dragged into the middle of the room, holding a red and a blue glow wand, with a shit-eating grin on his face. All of which is basically what I had expected when I read the flyer.

I stood in the shadows and watched excitedly as my watch counted down the seconds until midnight. 11:59:57, 11:59:58, 11:59:59, 12:00:00. And as soon as my watch displayed midnight, I set off the bullhorn, effectively silencing whatever "epic hype speech" that Tony had planned to start with. I flipped the lights on and stepped out of the shadows so that everybody could see me.

Their faces dropped. Everybody went still. Expressions ranged from abject horror, to regret, to embarrassment, to shock at the fact that they had been caught. "Agent (Y/L?N)...you aren't supposed to be here..." Tony said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. I marched up to the desk, stuck the flyer in his face, and gestured for him to get the hell off the desk. He did. Nobody else in the room dared to speak, move, or even breathe. I tapped my foot impatiently on the floor, awaiting an explanation from him about the disaster I was looking at.

I could tell that my silence was putting everybody on edge. I could see the nervous sweat on Tony's forehead, but I still didn't say a word, I just waited for him to cave and speak first. "Listen...it's not as bad as it looks okay?" I could hear the anxiety in his voice. "I just wanted, to spend a little quality time with the recruits, and let them blow off some steam, have some harmless fun-" I lost it at harmless.

The rage finally exploded out of me. "HARMLESS?! This is a DIRECT violation of SO MANY RULES in both the handbook AND the Survival Guide that it isn't even funny! You DESTROYED the bullpen, and were going to allow a bunch of untrained, unknowledgeable YOUTH to run around campus ARMED for an over-glorified game of hide and seek!" I screeched. Tony cringed. "In my defense, I didn't see anything about this SPECIFICALLY in the Survival Guide...soooo I figured it was probably okay?" He said, clearly hoping for a miracle.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and opened up the PDF of the Survival Guide that I had downloaded weeks ago. Finding what I was looking for was easy since I had already memorized the entire guide. I shoved my phone into his hand and raised a knowing eyebrow at him.

415: Your uniform is NOT to be referred to as your 'fighting swag'

The look of relief that crossed Tony's face confused me. "Okay well, that's not THAT bad of a violation-" I stared at him in disbelief. "You bet your sorry ass it is. We have uniforms for a REASON. They're IMPORTANT identifiers. And encouraging young, impressionable recruits to OPENLY DISRESPECT their uniforms in any way is UNACCEPTABLE. That's why Coulson put it in there!" I sighed as I ran a hand through my now disheveled hair. "Yeah I didn't think of that one," Tony said with an anxious chuckle. "No shit Sherlock." I spat.

I turned my attention to the recruits. "All of you will report back here at 5:00 AM sharp. This bullpen will be clean and put back in order by the time I get in at 7:00 AM. Then you're all going to run 5 miles, and then come back to base for 100 pushups and 100 situps. I also expect a paper from each and every one of you on my desk by 5:00 PM tomorrow explaining why I shouldn't have your sorry ass kicked out of this training program. Every one of you will also be formally written up, and this will go on your record. DISMISSED" I stood with my arms crossed as the recruits filed out of the bullpen single file, offering quiet apologies on their way out.

I pivoted back around to Tony who had thankfully had enough common sense not to leave. "And you." He flashed me a weary grin. "You'll also be written up for this stunt that you orchestrated. And until I say otherwise, Ironman is grounded and won't be flying any missions. You WILL report here at 5:00 AM to help the recruits clean up, and join them on their 5-mile run. Pushups and situps." He shook his head to acknowledge his punishment, looking defeated. "I know you wanted them to have fun, but there are better ways to do that. You're a hero, you're supposed to be setting an example for these kids. You're a lot of things Tony, and I'm one of the few people around here who saw the potential in you. Don't go proving me wrong." I said with disappointment replacing the anger in my voice. "You're dismissed. Go home, Tony." I said as I let the flyer flutter to the floor and turned and walked away.

The next morning I found the bullpen looking even better than it had before it had been overtaken by chaos, and a $5,000 gift card to (favorite restaurant) sitting on my desk along with a note.

Agent (Y/L/N),

You were right. I have an example to set for the next generation of heroes. I can and will do better than what you witnessed last night. I know it wasn't assigned to me, but I've taken it upon myself to write my own letter explaining to you why I deserve to be here, and what I have to offer the Avengers Initiative, as well S.H.I.E.L.D's recruits.

I've also decided that (pending your approval) I would be honored to start and teach an introductory engineering course for recruits and agents alike to participate in, free of cost. I feel as if that is something valuable that I can offer them.

I also decided that the only person worthy of the prize from last night's Capture the Flag game is you. You're stern but fair, and all of us will be better heroes because of your leadership.

-Tony

P.S. I hope the trophy is acceptable.

On the shelf behind my desk sat the trophy, the plaque changed to say "Agent (Y/N) (YL/N), our unsung hero". I smiled. "I knew I was right about you Stark," I said as I placed his typed explanation letter in my desk drawer. I didn't need to read it to know that he deserved to be here. He had already shown me. 

A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying this so far! I know I'm having a lot of fun with it! Be sure to message me a number if there's a specific tip you want to see me write about next!