Avengers Preferences and Imagines

It Wasn't You (Bucky Barnes)

**Edited and Revised on 01/26/21**

Thank you to @Camp_Half_Blood2 for requesting this one!

Prompt: The reader and Bucky are together, and something happens and causes him to have a Winter Soldier relapse. 

It was a day like any other in New York. It was sunny, and it was beautiful. It was never a day that anyone thought would end up as tragic as this one did. The people in New York City went about their day as they normally would. On the outside of Avengers tower, not seemed amiss. But the inside? That was an utterly different story. No one could have predicted that the actions of one person would lead to the events of today... and no one can believe it happened. 

The day was normal. (y/n) and Bucky were gathered in the common room in Avengers tower. It was a day off for the pair. They decided the best way to spend that day was to do something they both enjoy and can never find time to do. Sit down and watch their favorite movie, (y/f/m). They were halfway through the movie, enjoying themselves, and enjoying each other's company. Something that was long overdue for them both. Everyone else was out on missions, or off doing some sort of work, leaving the couple to themselves for the day. 

The only audible noise throughout the tower, was the distant sound of the movie playing, the crunching of popcorn, and the occasional sound of a slight kiss. And then suddenly all was quiet; too quiet. Then as if out of nowhere, a heavy footfall could be heard in the halls of the tower, coming towards the dozing couple in the lounge. Bucky heard them first, jerking up on the couch to listen closer. "(Y/N), stand up and get behind me." Bucky barked, jumping off the couch and flinging (Y/N) behind him. The footsteps were coming closer and closer to the lounge. 

A tall, slim shadow fell across the room. A man that (Y/N) didn't recognize stood in the entranceway to the lounge. But from the look in Bucky's eyes when he glanced behind him at (y/n) said everything. This was a man he recognized, and with that, a man he feared. (Y/N's) eyes flicked down to the long sleek gun that the foreign man was gripping with his right hand. The strange man raised his gun to the ceiling, firing 10 rounds into the high, vaulted ceilings of the Avenger's tower. "On your knees soldier." The man sneered with a foreign accent. "And your pretty girl too." The man sneered as he looked at (Y/N). 

Although (Y/N) could tell that Bucky feared this man, he still refused to comply with what he was being asked. "I will not tell you again soldier, on your knees." He growled, jabbing Bucky with the butt of his gun. "I don't take orders from you." Bucky barked, spitting at the feet of the familiar imposter. The imposter sneered. "Fine. Have it your way. You won't listen, you leave me no choice." The man responded pulling a thin, worn, leather book, with a red star embossed on it from the inside pocket of his coat. He cracked the book open to a very worn, yellowed page, and began to read from it. 

A deep shiver racked Bucky's body. He recognized the words. They were too familiar to him, still fresh in his mind despite the years that had passed. "Please." He begged. "Don't do this." His eyes held the look of pleading with the foreign imposter, begging him not to do this. The man ignored his desperate pleas and continued to read from the book. He kept reading and reading until there were no more words left on the page. The words made no sense to (Y/N), they were nothing but a string of random words to her. She had no idea that those words, all strung together, had the power to take away the one thing she loved in her life. 

The man finished reading from his book and clasped the dusty pages shut. There was a manic glare in his devious looking eyes. He turned on his heel to leave but turned around once more to hover in the entranceway to the lounge. "Oh soldier, I nearly forgot." He sneered, looking around Bucky to (Y/N), and in Russian, commanding "Kill her." before walking out the door for the final time, whistling a tune too merry for the dark events about to unfold. (Y/N), keeping an attentive ear to the heavy footsteps retreating down the hall, didn't turn to look at Bucky until she was positive the man had left. "Bucky? Who was that man?" (Y/N) Asked him with fear evident in her shaking voice. The man that turned to face her hardly resembled her once-loving boyfriend. There was a cold, harsh glare in his once love radiating blue eyes. "Buck- what's going on?" (Y/N) questioned him. But he never answered her. He just turned on his heel and stalked towards her.

The cold glare never left his eyes. He just walked towards (Y/N) backing her up until her back hit the wall. "Don't do this." She pleaded with him but to no avail. There was no trace left of the man she loved. In his place stood a cold ruthless killer. He wrapped his metal hand around her throat and lifted her up the wall, her feet dangling above the ground. (Y/N) knew that he was going to kill her. Yet she was not afraid. Because she knew the man she loved was in there somewhere, and that he would never hurt her. (Y/N) could not bring herself to feel afraid. Even though she was going to die at the hand of the man she loved so dearly. She knew he had no choice and that this wasn't him. So she chose not to be afraid. Chocking and gasping for air, she used her free hand to brush his long brown hair from his face.

Using the last breath she could manage, she said the words she knew he needed to hear the most. Even though right now he didn't care, she hoped he would remember them later when he would need them. "Bucky, I forgive you. I love you and I forgive you. This wasn't you. Whoever that man was, he did this. To you. To me. It was his fault, not yours. He killed me. Just know that I died with my heart full of love for you and that I was never afraid. I forgive you. And you'll be ok." Breathing was becoming harder and harder for (Y/N). Blood was starting to trickle out the corner of her mouth. "I love you Bucky. With all my heart. And even after this, I always will. I forgive you. Goodbye Buck. I'll always love you." And with that (Y/N) choked on her last breath, falling limply to the floor.

There seemed to be no way to measure how much time had passed. How long since Bucky had returned to normal, how long since he had choked the life out of the only girl he had ever loved. Or how many hours had passed in between. When Bucky finally came to and realized what he had done, he was broken. He cried, he screamed, drank the alcohol stash clean, punched a hole in Tony's wall. But nothing could soothe the pain of losing his dear (Y/N). He sat on the lounge floor with (Y/N) in his arms as countless hours passed him by. He brushed her hair off her now pale face, the blood from the corner of her mouth, and closed her eyes. He sat in the lounge holding her cold, stiff body close to his own, as his tears splashed onto her limp body. He had no idea how much time had gone by when he heard footsteps coming towards him again.

He immediately recognized them as his best friends. He didn't turn to face Steve. All he could manage was, "I killed her Steve. They triggered me and I killed her-" before his voice broke and the tears began to fall again. Bucky took one last look at (Y/N)'s beautiful face before letting Steve pick him up off the ground. Looking down at her cold, lifeless body, and what he had done to her, Bucky swore he'd never love another girl again.