Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Picking Fights

"Hidan"

"NO! Nothing's going to stop me. I've held back long enough"

"Hidan"

"Shut up Kakuzu! I'm more pissed you don't feel the same way as me here!"

"I know when to pick my battles.." Kakuzu grumbles

"Let alone there's nothing he can do about it now we're dead" Sasori states.

"..It's only been, what, an hour?" Kisame sighed watching the drama unfold with a slight smirk on his face.

Kakuzu drags his hands down his face. In his mind he thought he was at peace. But no, something, someone, was against him to make him be in the afterlife with his partner.

Hidan storms your way, aside Obito, Izuna and Madara.

"OI MADAFUCK!"

You didn't have to turn to face that voice, you knew full well that was Hidan and you could not help but snort out a small laugh you attempted to bite back along with your hands slapping over your mouth. Madara squinted at your reaction and then followed the voice, "Obito. Who is this cretin?"

Obito has no idea how to react at this point. He just chose to tell himself it's none of his business and that it is wise he steps back, "That's Hidan. He was a part of the Akat- - "

Hidan squared up to Madara in an instant. Although there is very little height difference between the two, Madara's stance, glare and hair made him look all the bigger compared to little Hidan. The two exchanged glares in silence for a moment. Izuna and yourself look back at one another and then at the two ahead, unsure what exactly is happening. Obito sighs out, "What's going on, Hidan?"

"I'll tell you what the fuck is going on, this fucker hurt [Y/N] and you're acting all pally over here like some fucknut!?"

Obito looks at you with a sweat drop and a pout mumbling in question, "..why am I a fucknut?" you chuckle softly patting his back as comfort.

"You look weak and pitiful right now" Are all the words that came out of Madara's mouth.

You sucked your lips in and stepped back knowing chaos will ensue, you looked back at the Akatsuki watching intently with interest as if they're at some theatre show. You gave a look to Kakuzu who simply shook his head with arms folded, he wanted nothing to do with this. He went up against Hashirama, he's not an idiot to go against someone who is on the same spectrum of power, even in the afterlife.

Hidan's rolling his sleeves up, "Oh you wanna fucking go? We'll fucking go. Right here"

Madara scoffed, smirking, "This is entertaining. Even in the afterlife I'm certain that I can send you flying in a matter of seconds."

"Bitch, I'm fucking immortal!"

Madara burst into laughter at this, "Immortal? That's funny, you appear dead to me. Tell me, do you even know the meaning of the word, immortal?"
Hidan's stuttering with visible confusement and shock on his face. How to respond to this he does not know. Oh wait, he does. With violence.

You look back once again at the group. Deidara is wheezing on the floor and Kakuzu looks like he wishes he can be anywhere but here. You give him a little look with a head tilt, seeking if he wants to handle Hidan or if you do before it gets any worse. He simply fans the air away as if to say, leave me out of this please. The poor guy is a little embarrassed.

You turn back to the scene, seeing Hidan on the floor wheezing for air, yards away. You're looking at such a chilled out, stoic Madara, "What- - Did I just miss something?"

Obito's explains that Hidan went to punch Madara in the face, only to have his fist caught in Madara's palm, a knee brought into his stomach, and then with a turn and the full force of Madara's body weight and strength, an elbow in the same place, sending Hidan skidding backwards with little to no grace. At this point Kisame is beginning to sympathise with Kakuzu and chooses to help the guy out, dragging Hidan away from the Uchiha by the hood, letting him catch his breath.

Madara turns to Obito and yourself, directing his words at his underling, "You chose him to join the group? How embarrassing, he's so weak"

"Compared to you, yeah" Obito quietly responds not wanting Hidan to hear.
"Given his jutsu and immortality...when he was alive. He can be pretty strong" you counter defensively.