Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Shopping Trip

"Right, I'm gonna go head out to the shops, anyone want anything specifically?" You asked as you dragged your coat onto your shoulders.

"Ribs!"

"We're running low on tea"

"Hm, I need more eyeliner"

The group started to list off more and more items until your head spun as you panically grabbed a pen and a notepad from the side and listed everything off. You sweat dropped, "oh man..Kuzu~ got any money? I don't think I have enough for all this" He got up from the sofa, sighing and headed to the spare room he was staying him. After a few minutes he came out, putting his own jacket on, "I'm coming with you to stop you from spending too much" He wrapped his dark scarf around his lower face and popped his shoes on.

You sweat dropped but didn't have an issue, it'll be nice to have some company and perhaps you can get him to carry the bags instead. "Wait wait wait!! Tobi wants to come too!" Tobi bounced from his game of cards with Deidara and headed to grab a jumper. Kakuzu grew a tick on his head and turned to you, "I'm not babysitting him" you fanned your hand up and down and reassured him, "Relax, he'll be fine. I'll keep him busy". Tobi skipped down and stood inches away from you, "Ready [Y/N]-channnn~~". You grabbed your keys from the side and bid a farewell to the group, "Won't be long!"

Kakuzu closed the door behind him and followed you two. You pressed the button to your car keys, the lights on your car flashed, making Tobi jump out of his skin. You chuckled and opened the door, signalling for them to get in. The two stared baffled as you sweat dropped, "You're both as bad as Sasori.. get in, it'll be quicker. It's too cold to walk. Tobi, you're in the back". You flicked the lever up on your seat and pointed for Tobi to crawl in. You pulled the seat back and got in yourself as Kakuzu sat in the passenger seat.

"[Y/N]-chan is favouring Kakuzu over Tobi..." Tobi sulked and pouted in the back. You laughed at his actions, "No, it's more that I can trust Kakuzu not to press all the buttons and distract me as I'm driving. Besides! You get the wholeeee back seat to yourself".

Tobi placed a finger upon his mask, believing he struck gold here. He sprawled out on the back seat, "Yaaay Tobi has the best seat!"

You rolled your eyes and pulled your seat belt on, looking at the other two to do the same.

**

You reached the supermarket, locked the car and headed for a trolley. Tobi took note of a member of the public having a child sit in the seat of the trolley and wanted to do the same, "Tobi..what the hell, you won't fit!" you burst into laughter and seeing him get his leg stuck. Kakuzu sighed and took a few steps back, pretending not to be apart of this. Tobi eventually got out of his own predicament and decided to walk instead.

"Excuse me, sir. You're going to have to take your mask off" A security guard sitting by the CCTV camera at the front of the shop stopped Tobi in his tracks. Tobi giggled, "Tobi never takes his mask off in public!" he whispered to the guard, "Tobi is super ugly, you won't like it"

The man stepped back, "Sir, please remove the mask or I will have to ask you to leave"

You stepped in fanning your hands, "Sorry, sorry, he will take it off" you looked at Tobi with guilty eyes and Kakuzu just side eyed the situation, secretly waiting for Tobi to take his mask off. No one has ever seen behind the mask and is the biggest mystery to the group. Tobi pointed his index fingers together as he mumbled to you about not wanting to show his face. You nodded in understanding, regardless of the situation if he doesn't want to, you're not going to force him. You got an idea, you quickly grabbed Tobi's hand and ran back to your car, "Wait here, Kakuzu"

You sat in the passenger seat and went through your glove compartment, you grabbed a surgical mask and some mirrored aviator sunglasses. All he did was tilt his head at you. You took your coat off and pulled your hoodie off as well. "Wear this" you passed him the hoodie as he took his jumper off and switched with you. It was baggy but thankfully warm enough in this cold weather.

You then wrapped your coat around his head loosely, "Take the mask off and then put these on". He did as commanded and you brought your jacket back on. Tobi pulled his hood up and looked at himself in the reflection of your side mirror, he nodded vigorously with approval and gave you a tight squeeze as appreciation. You headed back to Kakuzu, "Did you see his face?" You shook your head, "Is it that much of a mystery?" Kakuzu just shrugged his shoulders, Tobi took the trolley and ran forwards into the supermarket.

You rolled your eyes and smiled at his antics, although you moved to the side in order to make life easier for you today. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow in question as you swiped a card from your purse onto the wall, you waited for a beep and a flashing light. Once found, you picked up the self scanner gun and went on the hunt for Tobi. You saw Kakuzu look at you funny and explained, "Scan as you shop. We scan the barcodes of the items and it'll be quicker and easier to pay. We'll even see how much it'll be before getting to the checkout".

Tobi found you first and skidded with the trolley in front, "What's that?" you rolled your head around and sighed exaggeratedly, repeating what you literally just said to Kakuzu. Tobi slapped the sides of his cheeks, "Is this a game?"

You laughed, "No not a game but you can use it if you like, only scan what Kakuzu and I bring to you okay?? Nothing else.."
Kakuzu turned to you, "Are you sure you want to trust him with that?" You hummed, pressing a finger on your chin. "... Tobi?".

He sprung to your side instantly, "Yes [Y/N]-chan?~"

You intertwined your fingers with his free hand, he gasped loudly and turned to Kakuzu with a cheeky tone, "[Y/N]-chan likes Tobi better than Kakuzu"
He grunted, "More like I don't need to be babysat out in public".

**

"Tobi scan this will you?"

He held the scanner to the barcode and pressed the button, "Peww!~"

You placed the fruit and veg scanned into the trolley as you headed through each aisle. You went to grab a hold of some bottles of water, pointing the codes towards Tobi. You waited for him to use the scanner. Before Tobi could press the button, Kakuzu's hand swiped swiftly in between, "You have tap water, you don't need this".
You squinted your eyes at Kakuzu, you proceeded to put the bottles away but nudged Tobi to scan them and quickly put them in the trolley. Your sneaky action did not go unnoticed as the scanner beeped loud enough to be heard. Kakuzu scowled as you sweetly smiled at him, batting your eyelashes. He rolled his eyes and turned to walk ahead, "Do that again and I'll carry you out of the store"

"Oh yeah!? You'll have to carry us both, hmph" Tobi said pulling our hands out in front of him to remind him that you're holding his hand. Kakuzu just ignored him and went to read what was left on the shopping list.

"Can Tobi get some sweets?"

You deadpanned at him, "Tobi..you won a lot of sweets when we went to the arcade a few days back". Tobi stared at you blankly, stating as if this was obvious, "Tobi ate it all".

You went to playfully attempt to pull at Tobi's mask around his face, "Do you still have teeth? I'm surprised if they haven't all rotten away". Tobi batted your hand playfully out the way and hissed like an angry kitten.

You chuckled at his immaturity, "Pay with your own money or Kakuzu will flip" He quickly let go of your hand and rummaged through his pocket, finding a few loose coins. He darted off ahead leaving you with the scanner, trolley and Kakuzu. Kakuzu took the trolley off you and walked alongside you, "How do you put up with him?"

"Tobi makes the days interesting. Besides, if I didn't 'put up' with him, then you guys would have to"

"..Good point. I suppose we should thank you"

"You're welcome"