Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Zetsu, the Wingman

"Hey Kakuzu" You popped your head through the doorway with a cheery smile. He cocked his head to the side and squinted suspiciously at your smile, "The answer is no".

You froze, pulling a face before pouting, "I..didn't even ask for anything.."

"You were going to"

Kisame and Itachi looked at your facial expression to realise that Kakuzu was in fact, correct.

You sighed, entering the room, sitting on the arm of the sofa crossing your legs, "How did you know..?"

He smirked, "There's always meaning behind that certain smile of yours".

You thought for a moment about the smile, maybe he was right. You shook it off, "I'm going out, can I borrow some money? I'll pay you back~" saying the last part as enticingly sweet as possible.

He squinted at you annoyed, "No".

"What do you need money for?" Itachi asked.

You bit in your lips not wanting to give a reason but you mumbled very quietly under your breath. The others looked at you questioningly.

"She said, she has a date" Zetsu randomly just appears behind you.

You stared at Zetsu wide eyed, "Zetsu!!"

Hidan sputtered out, "W-What?!?!"

"Who is he, hm" Deidara got a bit overprotective.

Sasori nonchalantly spoke, "What's the problem, she's allowed a life around us isn't she?"

"If you think about it, we just appeared into her life out of no where"

Hidan and Deidara are giving the two deathly glares for their remarks.

Kakuzu sat looking into space thinking about it, "..How much?"

Hidan spun to look at him in disbelief, "You're going to lend her money for a date?! You never let any of us borrow money for more important things than a fucking date".

Kakuzu shrugged, "She said she'll pay me back. You never do"

You took that as a yes regardless and ran into the spare room, "What are you doing?"

You just giggled mischievously. He instantly jumped from his seat and ran after you, "Get away from my money!"

He barged the door open and scanned the room, your legs stretched out from under the bed, he saw this and dragged you out by the ankle. You had a vice lock around a briefcase in your arms and laughed manically. When he let go of your legs, ready to snatch the case away, you darted between his legs and ran down the hallway and past the living room door, aiming for the front door to escape.

The others watched the doorway of the living room through to the hallway, hearing the commotion. Their limited sight showed Kakuzu's extended, tendrilled arm pounce at you and a loud squeal noise coming from you. They slowly retracted and they saw you hooking one arm around the living room doorway as he dragged you back by the ankle. He tugged so hard that you lost grip of the doorway and the group sweat dropped at your actions, "She's got guts to do that..." Hidan mumbled.

"She's not going to survive this..is she?Hm"

Hidan just shook his head, "Neither is this fucking guy.."

"Is someone jealous?" Kisame taunted.

"Anyone else want to question why she's asking for money for a date? Don't you think this asshole should pay for her?"