Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Requested: Marriage Mission Pt2

Sasori

"Sasori"

"What does a puppet know about bloody marriage?"

"More than a moronic homocidal cultist, I'm sure" Kakuzu defends. To which he regrets after seeing Sasori's confused expression.

He went out and bought some books. He changed the binding and covers to look like something else. He can't walk around reading "Advice on Relationships and Marriage 101"
As you're walking to your destination, his nose doesn't come out of the book. You overhear him mumbling, "Be as kind to them as you were the day you first met" You began to recall back at how hostile he originally was, he looks at you and you immediately stop him, "No. Be you now" His mouth closed. It was a good thing because he was about to tell you that you're annoying.
After a few trial and errors, this man was remarkable. However, his emotionless face said otherwise. Many people looked at you thinking you offended or upset him. So he had to work extra to make it all the more convincing.
He used observation as a means of research. As he watched others in the streets as you walked through the village. He repeated what he saw, a man lowers his hand on a woman's waist, down to her ass. He had no time as you grabbed his hand, scolding him lightly, "Learn from someone better please" "Forget this, I'm just going to do this my way." As soon as he said this. Everything changed for the better, he was calling you darling, pressing a light kiss on your temple, arm around you lightly, sweet little compliments and very gentlemanly behaviour.
"Wow, where did you learn that? We know the book didn't do much." "I just recalled how my father treated my mother" By this point you were holding back the emotion that filled you, "You're so precious Sasori, don't change a thing"
You were sooooo close to being caught out and he mumbled an apology to you, before passionately kissing you. You were left in a stunned mess.

Zetsu

"Zetsu"

"..I'm not one to talk but, Zetsu might give you away" Kisame sweatdrops

"Why?"

Hidan stands by Zetsu with his arms spread in his direction, "Fucking look at him! He ain't human!!!"

"But we are the best at intel missions, this is going to be fun!" Zetsu takes your hand and heads out, ready for the mission.

He split into two, making White Zetsu look a little more human.
Black Zetsu went off to complete the mission, and with great haste
White Zetsu used this time to experience life in public than constantly hiding. He was like a child in awe with everything around him.
The whole time he was holding your hand. He's used to Black Zetsu telling him what to do, where to go so he felt a little out of place.
He relied a lot on you to take control. And that was okay, he was smiling constantly at you. So happy you picked him.
As the mission took roughly a week, he chose to make sure that flowers were picked for you each morning for when you woke up at the little cabin he found for you to stay in.
Black Zetsu finished very early on. He returned, demanding his 'turn'. "I'm married to her now" "But we're having so much fun" White Zetsu pouts. "Can't you both just blend together again?" "And look less human, ruining the mission?"
Black Zetsu ended up merging, but as the trousers of White Zetsu. Oh did he hate this. If you gave White Zetsu a hug, he would immediately and hastily blend up White Zetsu's body to feel a part of it.
Black Zetsu kindly and unintentionally 'demanded' a kiss on the cheek every day 'to know the feeling of love'. White Zetsu felt left out and you saw that. So it became a habit to kiss either cheek of the pair. This soon dragged on after the mission, causing Akatsuki members to question what was going on. But it never bothered you as they were smiling and kinder during the days.

Deidara

"Deidara!!"

Boy he got so excited you said his name that he blew up the meeting room in excitement. He had to run out of the hideout before anyone killed him for it.
He was ready, this was his moment to get you away from Tobi and hopefully see that he is better.
Instantly mistaken for two women.
Rather than his usual defensive yelling and possibly blowing someone up. He was stunned into being speechless. Already, he felt he failed the mission, and you. You jumped in, it's too late; he had to play along as a woman.
He did begrudgingly. "It's okay Dei, all you gotta do is stand there and look pretty" "Easy for you to say" he pouts but his cute remark and face gave you a goofy smile, he realised he can still show off even in this new predicament.
He showed another side of him. Without Tobi or Hidan bullying him, without Sasori, Kakuzu and Kisame treating him like the runt of the pack; he had the chance to be more relaxed. He was a wonderful, funny and charming companion.
By the end of the mission, he scattered butterfly kisses with his hands all over your cheeks and face. He also gave you a sincere thank you for considering him for this mission.

Pain

"I choose Leader"

"...me?" He was a little astonished, but you could see he was hiding the smile under the collar of his cloak. Not many people think Leader is an option for missions so he rarely gets picked. To be picked for this one was a major compliment in his eyes. Hidan and Deidara etc dare not comment their disapproval and jealousy.

At first you thought you made a huge mistake. Why pick the most stoic and quiet of the group? You hardly know Pain either, compared to the others that is. But actually, now that he was alone with you, he was different.
He was so open and honest with you. Very kind, very soft.
He would ask before doing anything. And then when in public he would give you a little smile, awaiting for you to nod or return it back and he would then kiss your cheek ever so gently; leaving you very blushed and touching your cheek for the remainder of the day.
Now, as the Leader..this man can do ANYTHING he wants. So he calls for Zetsu to continue the mission whilst you two bonded. You were so oblivious to this move and just followed the orders of Pain, not wanting to question your superior.
The man kissed your knuckles, holding your hand like a damn princess.
A puddle? Carry you over that. Literally, treated like royalty.
This was the best chance for him to get to know you. He knew that and took advantage of it. He became very close to you, understanding why the others were so determined for you to join the Akatsuki. He had such a soft spot for you by the end of the mission.
The Akatsuki realised you gained special treatment after the mission. Hidan immediately took it another level thinking you two became a secret couple, or were at least having sex in secret.
When Pain overheard this, he never commented only said two words, "Almighty Push"