Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Request: Time of the month

Tobi:

Tobi was oddly confused why you refused to get out of bed. The covers engulfed you, not allowing him to see your face or any limb pop out at all. He asked and asked and all you came out with for mumbles of agony. He thought you were injured and began yelling. So you calmed him down and peeked your head out, trying to subtly tell him the reason without..actually saying it. He didn't understand at all. Time of the month? He thought It wasn't Monday, the day everyone moans about.. so he ran out and asked Deidara, quite loudly in front of all the members. "Deidara Senpai you're smart, What does 'Time of the month mean?' [Y/N]-chan won't leave her room and says that's why? Is she dying?"

Even Deidara knew what it was. He grew up beside Kurotsuchi so he learnt about that long ago. Whereas Tobi (Obito) grew up most of his life in a cave entrapped with old man Madara. A flustered Deidara had trouble getting his words out, especially when he heard you yell Tobi's name in a scolding and yet embarrassed manner. So Sasori piped up nonchalantly explaining. Tobi was driven in a awkward frenzy where he couldn't believe his inconsideration towards you. But he wasn't to know so you weren't mad just.. a bit self conscious now. After that he couldn't say anything or come into the room without profusely apologising going red in the face.

Zetsu:

Oddly and surprisingly enough, was the first one to check up on you. He reassured you to 'have a [Y/N] day' and not worry about the household. Before placing a peck of your forehead and a head pat, he went off to take over your chores. Sasori, Kisame and Itachi helped out as well of course. He would check up on you everyone and then just making sure you had whatever you needed. After a nap you woke up to a vase of flowers he picked out for you and left them on the beside table. A note saying, ' We hope these make you feel better, we know they can't physically help.. But maybe the sight will make you think of nicer things.'

Kakuzu:

He was quick to act. The others assumed from his silent disappearance that he didn't care and was off to do his own business. However, he shortly came back with a discreet bag and some items inside. You looked up at him suspiciously, knowing he isn't the type to 'gift' or buy in general. He shook it in his hand, persisting you take it. Once you did, you have a look inside. The bag contained pads, pain killers, a water bottle, a few snacks he knows you love and some other bits. You gave him a little pout saying "Kuzu~ Thank you. I really appreciate it." Upon hearing this Hidan poked his head in and mocks Kakuzu. He instantly silences him, "It's natural. Every female has to endure this. In our eyes this is nothing because we will never understand the pain of it. But in hers, it's a lot. So shut up and grow up, Hidan." Kakuzu took the water bottle he bought for you off your hands, filled it up and brought it back to you. "If you need anything else, let me know."

Hidan:

After Kakuzu's little telling off, Hidan quit the teasing. To be fair, the guy isn't phased at all. But he did ask a lot of questions. At first you found this a bit strange. Not expecting this at all. He sat with you in bed most the day just chatting. "I bet the pain isn't that bad"
"Oh yeah? Of course, coming from the guy whose told me torture stories"
"Mmmhmmm, I bet this is like a damn paper cut, you wuss Hhahahaa"
"Oh yeah?" Prepare the aggressive poking in his abdomen and then an elbow to his lower back. You would randomly attack him with this prods every time a cramp occurred, just to show him how unpredictably awful it can be at times. He eventually understood and took back what he said. This is the one time you believed Hidan actually sympathised you. Females as a whole in fact. When others came by/walked past the room they overheard Hidan 'joke' about sharing the pain with you. As soon as someone repeated this around Kakuzu, he immediately dragged him out and threatened to tear him limb from limb and scatter the body parts as far as possible. Hidan was genuinely saying it in a 'I'll take half the pain away for you to help you out' sort of thing. But of course, everyone and including you thought of the sick twisted way we all know Hidan to be.

Kisame:

Kisame had the same outlook as Kakuzu on this. It's normal and it's certainly not a problem. But he could imagine it was very boring in your room so he decided to help you out. With a couple of whinges and yells from Deidara and Tobi which were hastily silenced by a deathly glare; Kisame unplugged the big TV and gaming console, bringing them into your room and setting it up. "I have a TV in here Kisa" You chortle out. He smiled warmly at you, "The others can use the little one then. You need the big TV if you're gonna be gaming."
"Alright but as long as you play ________ with me?"
He could visibly see you struggle to get comfortable when playing, and with your permission he moved and sat behind you. You laid against his chest, his build lifting you up comfortably as you played together. Kisame was amazing in this situation. It wasn't a case of giving you special treatment or making you vividly aware that he knew it was your time of the month. He just stayed being him. In all fairness, if you asked him to do this any other day he would have. It's a great excuse to not have Deidara or Tobi yelling in his ear for always beating them at multiplayer games.

Itachi:

Domestic House Husband. Need I say more? The tea is freshly brewed, the homemade pastries are warm and plated. He joins Kakuzu to help him pick out things you like to eat whilst Kakuzu dealt with the other bits. With everyone being considerate and Hidan and Kisame keeping you company, he stayed back giving you space. But that didn't stop him jumping to action if you called his name. He flash steps in not even a second to your side. He would do anything to see you smile, that's his goal. If you're smiling and happy then that his job done. But..he won't stop there. The teas keep coming, the water bottle gets refreshed and the snacks are always ready and waiting for you. The best part about this arrangement that he's made for himself is that you always leave a snack or two behind. He questions it every time and you always say, "Your cooking is so amazing, you have to reward yourself with a taste." And he will never turn down a sweet treat.

Sasori:

Sasori was once partnered with Orochimaru long ago. The two always worked with potions and chemistry. Therefore, he was making anything to help you ease the pain. You kept saying, "it's okay I can take some paracetamol or ibroprofen" but he insisted, "No. That stuff is rubbish, try this"
He kept saying he isn't doing it to be nice or help you, it's necessary and you are being a viable patient for him to experiment on. This will allow him to figure out future ingredients should he ever need to create something like this again. But you were incredibly skeptic. Of course you trust Sasori but if he's never made something like this before and simply testing it on you..what if it's dangerous? This is where Hidan comes in, he tests it out first to make sure you're in the clear. Luckily for both of you, Sasori is a genius, the stuff works tremendously.

Deidara:

"Ugh, I'm in such a foul mood today!" you growl
"What's with you? Hm"
"I don't even know. Nothings bothering me exactly, I'm just so agitated today"
"Cool. Wanna blow stuff up?"
"..Heck yes"
"Oh wait..you said we can't here. Hm"
"Shut up, let's go!"
He takes you on the clay bird to a far off secluded area. You had to question why he took a baseball bat with him and all he did was chuckle. Once you settled down in the middle of a field. He created some clay birds and pulled out a few tennis balls. "Ready?" He says with a wide grin excited for his unique plan. You just raised an eyebrow. He tossed the ball up and whacked it hard. It didn't matter about aim as one clay bird fluttered towards the ball and blew up on impact, initiating Deidara's own version of clay pigeon shooting. Oh my gosh did this do something for you. All that pent up anger was released and turned into a fun game just for you two. Deidara was actually incredibly considerate to your feelings when it came to the time of the month and wanted to do anything to help you smile again. This, worked like a charm.