Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Requested: Dammit the closest is being loud again

"[Y/N]-chaaan!!!!!" Tobi comes running at great speeds towards you, he hurdles himself into you with a stuttering voice, "H-Hide me [Y/N]-chan quick!!"
Kisame sighs and asks the question for you as your catching your breath after practically being winded by Tobi's assault , "Who have you pissed off this time?"

"Tobi was playing with a cute little bird a little too close to Kakuzu's room..?"

"So you got Deidara's clay and blew up a portion of Kakuzu's room?" you say getting him and yourself up.

"[Y/N]-chan we have no time for details, HIDE ME!!!" he frantically moves dragging you along. You take over with the dragging and push him into Zetsu's room, "No one would dare come in here. I feel like you and me would have a pass though, so it'll be alright?" Tobi drags you into the closest with him and hunches low as possible. He whispers, "You're the bait [Y/N]-chan. If they come looking, they'll see you first and think I'm not here" He sounded so sure of himself.

You sweat drop at his idea, "Sure, throw me into the fire won't you" you chuckle quietly.

The sound of angry footsteps come down the Akatsuki hallway and you can only tell who it is but the gruff in their voice, "TOBI!!!"
He begins to visibly shake as you instinctively hold your own mouth to keep yourself quiet. You're not even at fault but you feel like he's coming for you at this point. By the time the steps disappear in the distance, the pair of you sigh in relief, allowing your tense muscles to relax simultaneously when you lean against each other.
20 more minutes go by in silence, waiting for the yells of Deidara to calm and Kakuzu's pacing to disperse. You inhale deeply and suddenly stop. You sniff.
"Tobi, what is that?"

"Tobi can't smell anything.." he says partially drowsy on your shoulder.
"How can you not, it's awful"

"[Y/N]-chan don't be rude, Zetsu smells like a flower~"

You can't see much in the dark room so you move Tobi off your shoulder, turn your body as you rise on your knees and snap your fingers. A small candle like flame emerges from the tip of your finger as a source of light. You immediately heave, sending Tobi jolting awake. "Tobi..." you say as you hold your nose and mouth. He turns round and lets out a high pitch squeal, harmonising to the sound of your own. The pair of you are fumbling and panicking inside the closest.

Zetsu, who is in the hallway overhears, "Dammnit, the closest is being loud again. I told you to eat the head first. But the rest is more meaty. You could have at least made sure it was definitely dead." Zetsu opens the door to his closest, seeing you and Tobi fall onto the floor with a half eaten body fall on top of their legs. They are kicking it away, freaking out and run in between Zetsu's legs and disappear down the hallway and into the showers to clean off the disgust.

"Good so it is dead. It was just those two playing a game. They shouldn't play with our food."