Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Requested: Marriage mission

"Why are we all here if it's just one mission?" Kakuzu asked.

"Because I'm giving [Y/N] the opportunity to decide who she wishes to take with her. It's...quite different from our normal arrangements" Pain replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Better yet, what's the mission?" You ask.

"It's an intel mission that is going to last at least a week - - " Konan explained.

"Sounds boring, I'm out" Hidan dismissed immediately.

"Yeah intel doesn't exactly scream...'art' to me, hm" Deidara yawned.

"In that case these two won't be [Y/N]'s husband for the week" Konan said facing Pain, faintly annoyed the boys interrupted her.

You were in the middle of drinking from your container and practically spat it across the table, "H-Husband?! What!? Why me!? KONAN!"

"I've changed my mind I'm back in!" Hidan blurts.
"Me too, hm!"

She's biting back a smile as she shrugs, "I apologise but I have my own mission to attend to."

"We've called this meeting so you can decide who you want to go with. After all, you need to make this convincing in order to hide in plain sight"

Your head was in your hands as you sighed out, pausing deep in thought your let your fingers dragged down your face as you resurfaced. "Alright fine..I pick..."

Kakuzu:

"Kakuzu"

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!!?"

"For once, I'm with Hidan on this..?"

"We're a good team in missions so why not?"

"BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO PLAY OFF AS A DAMN COUPLE"

"Is someone jealous?" Kakuzu taunted Hidan.

"Awwwww" the group snicker at Hidan who very loudly complains as his face grows redder and redder.

On the walk towards the mission he immediately asks you about anything you're uncomfortable with, mainly for the mission's sake. He doesn't want someone catching on you're not actually together but also, he does care about your feelings. He won't say it aloud though.
Before entering the village, you both changed clothes to look the part and also did your best in covering Kakuzu's mouth stitches.
You entered the village and you didn't expect Kakuzu to have his arm around you the entire time. He told you to stop staring at him, it's blowing your cover but also weirding him out. But you couldn't help it. Somehow you felt incredibly safe.
Once entering the hotel to check in, the receptionist looked at you both suspiciously. You were about to say something but Kakuzu held your hand. As you look up at him he sneaks in a gentle kiss to defuse the suspicions but that only left you blushing crazily. As you both headed to your room he whispered, asking if that was okay or too far. "N-No..No. It was smart. Good. Yes.."
This was a strange side of Kakuzu, he took you both out to a restaurant and a nice hotel. You kept saying it was a part of the whole act; very clever, Kakuzu. But as soon as you get back to the base he's quick to drop the receipts in your hand. "What's this for?" you ask. "I didn't choose to come on this mission. You chose me. It's only fair you pay up" he looks at you expectantly. "..Fine, 20% off for the surprise kiss in public though" Hidan comes running down the hallway, "YOU FUCKING DID WHAT!?!?!?" "10% and you got a deal"

Itachi:

"Itachi"

"Of course you pick the Uchiha"