Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Almost caught

*This follows on directly after mystery stranger date*

"IF she's on a date, why was she dressed...like that?"
"Yeah..as if she was going to the gym? Hm"
"Not the fucking gym!!! ARGH Did I steal all that shit for nothing?!"
"Come on let's snoop, hm"
"Y'know Barbie, sometimes you can come up with some real fucking good ideas. Let's go"

Kisame pushes them away from the front door.

"Okay, Okay. I really...REALLY don't trust either of you to let her enjoy herself. Whatever it is she chooses to do."

"Excus - - "

"You're going to embarrass her. You're going to make a scene - -"

"What the fuck makes you think that!?"

He simply looks tired at both of them, "Because it's you two"

They couldn't deny it, every time they think about any situation they've been in, they've caused a scene in some way or another. Just back in their timeline it would involve bombs or a massacre in some way.

Kisame let out a sigh, "What if I went. Will you PROMISE to stay here and not do anything stupid?"

They looked at one another, then back at Kisame. Slowly they nod, suspiciously. "Bring back information, a lot of information"

He just rolls his eyes and leaves, keeping a far distance from you just to check you're safe.

*********

"What did you find out? Hm" Deidara questions as soon as Kisame opens the door. Hidan runs in, grabbing him by the shirt, "TELL US NOW!"
Kisame swipes him away like a fly, sending him flat on his back.
"Deserved" Kakuzu retorts.
"We only manhandle the enemy. Which Kisame is not" Zetsu responds.

Kisame shrugs, coming into the room. "She's happy"

"So they're worrying over nothing again" Itachi confirms.

"What about the fucking guy!?" Hidan says rubbing his back as he sat up.

"Decent. Respectable. I've got no complaints"

"IS THAT ALL THE INFORMATION YOU CAN GIVE!? WHAT A WASTE!!! Let's fucking go Deidara" Kakuzu and Sasori instantly use their tendrils and puppet strings to hold the two off.

"Would you two please give her some space?" Itachi, alike the others grew tired of their actions. But only Itachi truly understood the reasoning behind their actions. They did care, they cared a lot about you. But with the lives they've had for all these years, they've never truly known how to express the emotions they're feeling. To be honest, they probably don't fully understand them either. Even if they wanted to understand, they would suppress the want to publicly show their emotions, especially in front of the Akatsuki.

"Itachi is right, she's likely to be home soon anyway. Bother her then, not now" Kisame concludes, watching the sulking pair.

**

The door creaks open, revealing a tired but still chirpy Tobi.
"Welcome home Tobi~" He says with exhaustion in his voice to himself. His own way of letting everyone know he's in the building Zetsu creeps up, "Hello Tobi" he smiled at him.
Zetsu looks at his friend's waving hand, "Oh dear, your hand is bleeding. Allow us to lick it"
Tobi grimaced making a complaining sound before looking at it, "Hmm Tobi is gonna go clean it up again"

After a few moments and the sound of the sink running, Tobi looked everywhere opening and closing cupboards. He then heads to the living room doorway. "Does anybody know where [Y/N]-chan keeps the first aid kit?"

Half the room weren't listening, they fade out the sound of Tobi's voice every chance they can get. Kisame got up and responded, "Yeah, let me show you"
They head into the kitchen as Kisame grabs the box from the top of the cabinet and brings it down. Tobi then tackles the box, making a mess looking for what he needs, "What'd you do?" Kisame questions seeing the cut on his palm.

"Tobi cut it on a rock. Tobi being silly."

"Nothing unusual then" Kisame jokes. He heads back into the room and Tobi joins shortly after placing his gloves on before tackling Deidara to play a game of Mario Kart with him.

About 30 minutes later you return back home. Kisame and the rest of the group watch Hidan and Deidara interrogate you with questions about the date. They find out that you had a really great time and were just genuinely exhausted and wanted to shower and get pjs on. You headed into the kitchen first to grab a drink and was currently talking to Zetsu about your date to which Kisame was faintly listening to.
"Ah It was so much fun. Not like a usual date either. When he suggested rock climbing I thought he was crazy! But it was so good! My hands are so sore, oh yeah. Poor Todd nicked himself on the hand half way but he still got up on the hardest level! He's so cool!"

Kisame thinks about your words and Tobi's words earlier. He mumbles to himself, "cut it on a rock..."
Tobi's back stiffened as he heard Kisame. He stayed still hoping he would disappear like mouse hiding from a hawk.

Then it hit Kisame, his eyes widened and upon instinct he just jumped up from his seat. "Tobi.."
Tobi's eyeline shot directly at Kisame. They both stared at one another, waiting for the other to move first.

Sasori and Kakuzu in the room just looked at them vividly confused. Kisame opened his mouth about to inwardly gasp but before a single word could come out Tobi shot up and dragged him out the house making loud babbles of excuses to which everyone played off as Tobi being Tobi.

"It was you!?" Kisame blurts out as soon as they are away from earshot of the house. Tobi slips his mask slightly down, after making sure the coast was clear, only where his eyes are visible. They shine red, "I'm sorry Kisame, now isn't the right time"

Kisame is so shocked at it all, especially the change in Tobi's voice that he didn't think to look away and was instantly caught into a genjutsu similar to the one Itachi did on your friend to remove his memory. Tobi readjusted his mask and waited for Kisame to come to. He looks around, "What are we doing out here?"

"Kisame said he was gonna come with Tobi to buy snacks!"

"..yeah. Okay"

Tobi audibly sighs with great relief.