Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Requested: Mini Road Trip

"Oi, where are you going?" The voice makes you flinch, feeling like you're in trouble.

"Can't I go out?" you pout, defensively with a shrill and confused voice.

"Well yeah..but I'm bored..can I come?" Hidan tried to look as cute as possible so you couldn't say no. It never works for you though because it's such a rare and strange sight to see, so you usually just stare at him for a while until you answer.

"I'm literally only going to shops quick for some bread" Regardless he's still putting his shoes on, getting ready to go.

"ROAD TRIP!" Tobi comes running round the corner, trying to put his arm into the sleeve of his jumper, only slapping Deidara in the face on his way past.

Kakuzu stands up and joins you all in the hallway, "I feel like I need to help you stop these two from causing havoc" You mimed out a thank you but at the same time, shocked everyone is coming just for a loaf of bread.

You sarcastically speak out, "Anyone else?"
This is where Deidara and Saori stand up and head towards the door. Hidan already has your keys and is scrambling out the door yelling shotgun.
"Why are you inviting everyone.." Kakuzu questions, "I was being rhetorical!" you whisper shout. However, Itachi is practically pushing everyone out the door saying this is the perfect opportunity for him to tidy up the place without people making a mess instantly afterwards. Kisame whispering to himself a 'thank kami' as he has a minute to himself without 'rounding up the children'.

You're last to leave the house, gaining a small list of random items Itachi has given you, but you see it more as a 'take your time, don't rush back please'. Oh what have you got yourself in for, you thought to yourself as you watched on the fight on who sits where. Kakuzu and Sasori are the only ones in the vehicle. Sasori is sitting calmly and quietly at the very back while Kakuzu stole shotgun off of Hidan by dragging him out.
To stop the bickering, you sat Tobi in between Hidan and Deidara, although you soon realise this is a massive mistake when the three are causing a riot all the way there. Kakuzu looks at you, "Fed up of us yet?"
"It's...something to get used to. Can't deny that I appreciate you being here to babysit"

"Babysit? You're the one taking Tobi"

"Team Awesome, Woooo!" Tobi cheers, arms raised above him where he uppercuts Hidan and Deidara in unison, causing the third fight in the 15 minute drive.

Kakuzu and yourself immediately decide to take their partners separately in the shop so no other fights are set off, especially in public. Sasori, at the back of the car doesn't hear most of this but he knows what he's doing. When Deidara acts up like this with the other two, he results into embarrassing him. So Sasori forces Deidara to hold his hand around the shop, Deidara originally tried to lick his hand to get him off but as a puppet, he can't feel it,leaving a defeated Deidara sulking as Hidan holds his laugh in. Kakuzu very clearly warned him, one second of mocking in the building will cause a whole day of beheaded childminding with Zetsu; something everyone knows Hidan is petrified of now.

Luckily, Tobi is a saint with you. He'll hold your hand with no worries, in fact he is the one suggesting it in the first place. He might get excited and try and purchase every sweet bun, candy and 'choccy milk' as he calls it; but all you have to say is 'Have you asked Kakuzu?' and he will reframe unless the money is in his own pocket.

Bizarrely, the trip was a success and you managed to kill an hour for Itachi, you even lengthened it out by filling up with petrol and taking a detour home.

"Can we get Mcdonalds?" The 2 minute silence was interrupted by Hidan's request, after reminding himself of the Mcdonald's they past on the way out.

"We just bought food" Kakuzu drones out.

"Tell you what. We will get Mcdonalds, If...Tobi can spell it" You look up through your mirror back at him as he begins to scratch his head and look a bit anxious. Hidan and Deidara sigh in defeat, knowing the answer already. Even Kakuzu smirked, feeling like you said this because you knew he would struggle.
However Sasori suggests an easier proposal, "What about KFC?"
Every turns to look at Tobi, even Kakuzu in the passenger seat looks back to him. He vividly panics mumbling about a bunch of um and errs. "..C?"

"For fuck sake, its only 3 letters!!" Hidan spouts out
"Sasori even said the 3 letters!!" Deidara yells.

"You guys are stressing me out!" Tobi cries.

"WE'RE STRESSING YOU OUT!?!?" Hidan and Deidara scream out together.