Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Requested: Drunken Kiss

"You're drunk" Kakuzu stated with a distasteful expression.

He opened the door to the both of you stumbling, laughing and painfully trying to open the front door 'discreetly.'

"No, we're not!" you said a little louder than you anticipated, leaving Hidan snorting behind his hand. Kakuzu rolled his eyes at the pair attempting to walk into the house and just falling over each other. "Hey, where's that bottle you had earlier?" Hidan says dragging you to the kitchen. "Oh yeah!!" you say now pulling him forward.

With that said aloud, Kisame grabbed Hidan by the back of his collar keeping him at bay from drinking. He attempted to grab you too but you were slippery enough to sneak into the kitchen whilst Hidan tried pushing Kisame away but failing miserably. "Just from looking at you two, I think you've had enough"

"Where did she go?" Kakuzu said looking at the hyperactive and yet very drunk Hidan flailing from Kisame's grip. Kisame just pointed whilst swatting Hidan's drunk swipes away.

He headed into the kitchen noticing the cupboard with the bottle that once was there, open and bottle gone. The back door was still locked and there was no way you snuck past him and Kisame without going unnoticed.

"You're a little too old to be hiding, don't you think?"

Your snickers could be heard from a mile away. He narrowed his eyesight, crouched down and opened the cupboard door next to the sink. You sat there wide eyed, staring back at him as you swigged the bottle. "It's late" he said.

You pout, "Nu-uh it's only 10pm."

He looks up at the clock, "It's actually 3am."

"Then what are you doing up so late? Silly~"

"Making sure Hidan brought you back safely. Instead he brought you back drunk. Now go and get ready for bed" He puts his hand out to which you reluctantly pass him the bottle of drink and crawl out of your hiding spot.

**

"Hidan, get up"
The man stirs, letting out a grumble of frustration, pulling the cover over himself with a firm grip. Deidara pulled on the cover, leaning with a 45 degree angle not being able to pry them off of him. "Come on! Itachi won't feed us until everyone is up. You know that! Hm"

"He didn't return home until 5am" Sasori intervened.
"No they got back at 3" Kisame said with confusion
"I heard them both sneak out into the garden with a bottle. They didn't come back in until 5am. Loudly infact, how you slept through it I don't know."
He was pressing at his temples, letting out an annoyed sigh at the thought.
"Then how is [Y/N]-chan awake?" Tobi said looking back at you sitting in your shark onesie, hood over your head and hands keeping your chin up, "I just want food..then I'll go back to bed" you slur out. Your red, tired eyes said it all. Zetsu passed you a glass of water and sat next to you, letting you lean against him all the while rubbing your back.

"I'm going to drag him out by the hair in a minute." Kisame growled getting a bit angry.
"He's a deep sleeper, especially drunk" Kakuzu explained, making everyone almost give up.

You begrudgingly crawled towards the spare bedroom, using Kisame who stood in the doorway as a means to stand up on your wobbly, still drunken legs, "Hiiiidaaaannnnn, come on I'm hungry" you whined out.
You headed over to the bed and poked his cheek. He stirred. "Come ooooonnnnn" you groaned getting impatient, half laying on top of him and shaking his shoulders.

He immediately hooked you with one of his legs, his arm cradling you to fall in front of him and scooped the cover on top of you. "Hidan!" you scolded feeling your drunken stomach slosh at the speedy movements, feeling sick. He interlocked his arms behind you, trapping you in. You faced him and looked up frowning. He opened one eye, scoffed and then mumbled, "Cute" kissing your forehead.

You immediately flushed red, "H-Hidan..." you stutter in embarrassment.

Tobi let out a high pitch scream (imagine lemongrab from Adventure Time - Video for Reference )

He grabbed Hidan and threw him through the doorway into the hallway after everyone moved out the way seeing Tobi explode the way he did. You laid very shocked at the actions Tobi took to get Hidan out of bed. The rest of the group looked to Tobi not expecting him to lash out how he did. Kakuzu wanted to laugh at the situation but had his jaw drop at the crack now forming in the wall thinking of the repucussions.

Tobi huffed out a few deep breaths heavily before composing himself quickly, realising he had everyone looking at him. "Itachi senpai, can we eat now please?"

"..Yes"