Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Requested: I forgive you

"I'm telling you, it's true" Deidara explained.
You shook your head, "Nah, don't believe you."

"He's a puppet"
"Well yeah, but he's not like Hidan"

"The only human bit about him is his heart"

You hummed contemplating as you swigged the last part of your drink. Deidara, Hidan and you were finishing up a bottle of sake Hidan had swiped earlier in the day. They had chosen to sit in your room so the didn't have to share. Hidan was biting back his laugh to prove this prank a success. It was impressive really.

"I've done it"
"Me too"

"Well I suppose you both are still alive so...okay. I need to see for myself"
With wobbly legs you got up from your bed and headed to your wardrobe. You pulled out a baseball bat and slapped it against your hand a few times. Hidan's eyes grew as he didn't realise you would use a weapon. He tried so hard not to laugh and practically bit into his lip. Deidara is holding back as well whilst thumping Hidan's shoulder to shut him up.

"Be right back" you say as you open your door. You fumble with the door handle a few times struggling to see straight. "Damn, we drunk a lot"
They immediately scooted to watch from the doorway as you headed into the kitchen. Sasori had his back to you whilst he was talking to Kisame and Itachi. Kisame saw you wind up the bat as you smacked Sasori in the side of the head. The thump of his head rolling on the ground caught Itachi's attention and Kisame and himself stared shocked at you, speechless.

"What...the hell" Sasori's voice emerged as chakra strings drew his head back on his shoulders. His head twisted 180 degrees to face you, "Whoa" you said atonished.

His eye caught on Deidara and Hidan on the floor drunkly laughing with tears in their eyes. He looks back at you, seeing the visible intoxication in your face. "I'm sorry, they told me to do it! They said you'd be fine with it!" you said pointedly in a panic seeing rage on his face.
"..I forgive you." he said monotoned as his body rotated to face the correct way.
"But as for you two.." chakra strings dragged them towards him as they screeched and clawed at the floor to escape.

"Please don't make a mess in the kitchen" Itachi sighs.
Kisame grabs you by the shoulders and sits you down, grabbing you some water, "You hang with the wrong people when you drink"
"Sorry.." you pouted with guilt realising what you did.
"You're not the first, you should have seen the things they've convinced Tobi and Zetsu to do"