Akatsuki Oneshots (Based on A Taster of Modern Living and Akatsuki's Shadow)

Requested: Purple Opposites

"When does [Y/N]-chan get back with foooooooooood?!" Tobi whines leaning with his head against the wall and body stepped back so it drags lowly in a strange position.

Deidara sighs, "She said she won't be long just chill out already, hm. Go in the garden or something" Deidara growls just wanting Tobi to not be Tobi for once.

Tobi takes the hint and mopes away to impatiently wait alone. He closed the door behind him and ran a few circles around the tree to blow off some steam. All up until he tripped on a bizarre object. "WAA OUCH Silly Tobi...Hm? What's this!?" He picks up the mysterious item, a bizarre purple tube. He begins to shake it, noticing it has something inside...paint? Just at that moment he decides to mess with the Akatsuki members.

"The Akatsuki always pick on Tobi...now let's mess with them!" He chuckles to himself mischievously as he sneaks back into the house, finding a water gun from a previous fight that you and Tobi had in the summer. He fills the purple 'paint' inside and begins acting like he is in a spy movie. He bounces wall to wall, a somersault and flip between door frames. He then comes close to the living room, seeing everyone minding their own business. He jumps into the doorway, "Take this you evil doers!!!" Everyone, including the room gets sprayed with the substance, even Tobi manages to ruin his own clothing and staining his own hands in the process.

"What the fuck!?!" Hidan yells

"You better clean this up brat" Sasori states wiping his hair then analysing the substance.

"Tobi you're helping me clean up this mess" Itachi states wiping his face

"You even stained the money! I'll kill you for this" Kakuzu hissed.

Tobi turned to his senpai, Deidara. He was surprised at how quiet he had become, "S-Senpai?"

*30 minutes later*

You turned up at the door with bags of food, excited more than ever to eat. "I'm hooooome!" you called out. You had expected to hear the calls of Deidara and Tobi, Hidan pushing them aside to snatch at the chance of eating his ribs. Instead, Kakuzu came running, "[Y/N]!!!" He pulled you into a tight bear hug.

Your eyes are wide and the food was dropped to the floor, "K-Kakuzu?"

He put you down and cupped your cheeks into his palms, "Welcome back [Y/N]"
You were so baffled by his...soft and lively attitude, you couldn't help but flinch away, "Who are you and what have you done to Kakuzu...HIDAN!!?!?!? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?"

You moved past Kakuzu, taking the food into your hands again and to place it in the kitchen. You stumble across Hidan, "Hidan- - - Hidan..?"

He was hunched over at the kitchen table, head in hands. You heard...sniffling? What the hell is going on you wondered. Immediately you assumed a crying Hidan was the source to Kakuzu's positive attitude. All until he spoke up, "What the hell have I been doing all my life. This ...stupid religion. I feel like I was sucked into a cult and hypnotised. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS ANYMORE" he tore off his necklace and through it in the direction of the trash bin. Your eyes wouldn't widen any further than they have. "Hidan it's ...it's okay. Look I bought you ribs! Maybe some food will help you feel like yourself?"

You hold out the bag with his food in and he swipes at it, pushing it off the table, "I don't even like ribs! I can't even think about eating right now anyway!" he says wipes his eyes with his forearms.
"What the hell is going on?!?!" you pinched yourself to check this wasn't a dream. Hidan couldn't even joke about this, let alone CRY.

"ITACHI!!?!?!?" you called out for the most mature of them all in hopes for some answers.

"Arrgghhh What the fuck do you waaaant!?!?" You froze in shock. Did you actually just hear that, from Itachi's voice? You doubted yourself and turned to Hidan who was still a strange depressed mess. It wasn't him at all and you noticed he hadn't sworn earlier either. You were almost concerned to the point you didn't want to face such a barbaric Itachi..