Fifty Shades Of Kim™

51.

"Some secrets can rather be buried than let out."

Author's P.O.V

Rough...maybe that's what life was. Sometimes it made you happy, very happy or the happiest but the next moment it stole the joy away and next moment put you in the sadness. Problems rain on us like water and this problem drowns you at the unexpected time so you get flabbergasted.

It's just not okay because by the time you process the problem another one rains on you. Life is hard, we live because we can't die.

But again we strive to live.

That's just a messed logic isn't it? Well some things are just messed we can't do anything rather than accept it and move on. Slowly like a turtle.

You end the para and sigh softly. Writing this was a bit hard since you yourself didn't know what to do. Life is always hard sometimes you are very happy thinking "yes this is the best moment I'm so happy." but next moment sadness drowns you in, steals everything away. Sometimes life is easy, it's all smiley and roses but next moment you just want to get away, want to give up.

Life is just rough.

Past memories haunt you try to crawl on your self then later on fear about the future consumes you. In this we forget how to live truly. This tug of war is life sadly we can't do anything.

Ruffling your hair you remove the glasses you were wearing and place them on the table where you were sitting. Stretching peacefully you stand up to go have a shower again.

Maybe a warm shower will indeed help you.

Entering the washroom, you strip yourself out and lock the door. There were many thoughts roaming around your head but out of all of them one thought stood out the most.

Your conversation with Jimin which ended half an hour today.

You were back after seeing fireworks so being in a good mood you called Jimin immediately.

You both had a normal talk since he was at home and your brother was out to buy some snacks but later on it took a turn when Jimin voiced out something.

(Song recommend - Dynasty, control by halsey on loop)

"Bubba? I want to tell something." He says on the other line and you straighten up because it seems like he was really concerned about this topic.

"Yeah tell me?" You say softly, patiently waiting for him to continue whenever he is comfortable. You didn't want to push him.

"I don't know I mean are you really okay?" He asks something which hits harder then anything could ever.

Okay.. are you okay? Were you fine?

Having flashbacks of past, crying and waking up in the middle of night, feeling insecure at every moment. If that is the definition of fine then you swear you were fine but that's not the case.

Lord,you were far away from fine. You don't know to be honest your thoughts are messed. Sometimes you feel better but the next times you feel utterly sick, mentally.