ⁱ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ⁱᵗ ʰᵘʳᵗˢ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵗⁱᵐᵉˢ ᵇᵘᵗ ʸᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ⁱᵗ
ʸᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ᶠⁱⁿᵈ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ˡⁱᶠᵉ ᵗᵒ ˡⁱᵛᵉ
ⁱ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ⁱᵗ
ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ˢᵃᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗⁱʳᵉᵈ
ʸᵒᵘ'ᵛᵉ ᵍᵒᵗ ⁿᵒᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ˡᵉᶠᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵍⁱᵛᵉ
ʸᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ᶠⁱⁿᵈ ᵃⁿᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ˡⁱᶠᵉ ᵗᵒ ˡⁱᵛᵉ
ⁱ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ'ˡˡ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ⁱᵗ
ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ ˡⁱᶠᵉ ᵍᵒᵉˢ - ˡⁱˡ ᵘᶻⁱ ᵛᵉʳᵗ
Oᴍɴɪsᴄɪᴇɴᴛ
It had been two months exactly. Two months since her heart was cruelly ripped right out of her chest and tossed in the trash bin right in front of her by the one she thought was her soulmate.
She liked to think she had made some reasonable progress in getting over the whole breakup thing. At least she didn't cry anymore when she thought about it, even though it did leave a bitter aftertaste in her mouth most times.
Christmas had come and gone, and even though it was somewhat painfully lonely without him and she had cried a little here and there, at least she spent it surrounded by the ones that actually loved and cared about her.
Just her, her friends and her family.
Josh had even come around once, awkwardly offering words of consolation that she was sure took him a lot of time to think up. But it was the thought that counted.
She thought about him a lot too.
Bird and the others had spent an awful lot of time with her. She wondered if they ever went to see him too. If he spent Christmas alone. If he put Christmas decorations up like he did their first year together because he knew how much she liked it.
All these lingering thoughts and memories ultimately led to this very moment in time.
With a deep breath, she lifted her hand to ring the doorbell but paused.
Was what she was about to do really the right decision?
"What do you think?" She asked her kids, looking down at the children in the double stroller beside her.
Zeniyah, the only one awake, squealed and clapped her hands together, babbling nonsense.
"Of course. You've always been a daddy's girl" she said, chuckling, though there was a distant sadness in her tone.
She looked back at the parked car behind her where Evan sat in the front seat. He simply flashed her a toothy grin and gave her a thumbs up.
He was the one who had even convinced her to do this. After all, what kind of friend would he be if he wasn't there to be a kind of moral compass for her.
With another deep breath, she, finally, pressed down on the doorbell, the familiar ring filling up the silence that was starting to give her anxiety.
"Gimme a minute!" She heard him yell from inside and suddenly she felt a pang in her chest.
She looked back at Evan again, but he wasn't looking at her anymore, instead focusing on the phone in his hands. She was starting to get cold feet. Maybe she shouldn't have rang the doorbell. She shouldn't have even come. Her hands were starting to sweaty and clammy the more the doubts swirled around in her head.
What was she doing?
"Sorry I was trying to clean up a bit" he apologized as he opened the door, clearly unaware of who was waiting behind the door.
"Hey" she meekly greeted with a small wave, like she wasn't just about to bolt and abort mission.
"Hey" he parroted, eyes slightly widening in shock and she was sure that if she wasn't completely frozen, the sight would've probably made her chuckle.
He has changed.
His goatee had grown into a stubble, and somehow, she thought it suited him. He had cut his hair too, opting for something much shorter. All of these features, she thought, made him heartbreakingly handsome.
She didn't realize that she had neither spoken or made a move since he had seen her till he stepped aside, allowing her space to enter the house.
"You wanna come in?" He asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.
"Yeah" she mumbled, slowly wheeling the stroller in, praying that he didn't notice the slight wobble in her steps from her nervousness or the tears that she tried to blink away as she felt the bile rise up her throat.
"I wasn't expecting to see you" he voiced as he closed the door behind her.
"Figured I had kept you away from your kids long enough" she responded, biting down on her inner cheek to try to keep her emotions in check.
He nodded in understanding as he let his eyes take in her appearance. She didn't look like she had been crying all night. He was at least glad that she was trying to get over him. She was better off without him anyway.
"They miss you" she revealed. "Sometimes they cry and cry for hours and I can't do anything to get them to stop"
"I'm sorry that-"
"But then it made me realize that I can't shut you out forever. They need you in their lives too" she told him, her eyes trained on the infants in the stroller, unwilling to meet his in fear of what she would see. Or what she wouldn't.
'I'm sorry for breaking your heart' he wanted to say but instead said "I would like to be there for them too"
'Was it that I was never enough for you?' she wanted to ask but instead replied "I'd like to try co-parenting"
"Me too" he agreed.
And so they talked, working out schedules and times when he would come to see his kids and spend time with them. She was moving out of Evan's place soon too. She has found a nice, comfortable apartment in Los Angeles, a mere ten-minutes drive from Zee's and a fifteen-minutes one to Evan's.
She was trying really hard to just get past everything and leave it all behind. She felt like maybe making the first move to go see him and gain a common ground when it came to their children was the best decision.
"I'm really glad we got to talk about this" she said when it was time for her to leave.
"Me too" he concurred, standing up too to walk her to the door.
"Hey Alaina" he called to stop her from leaving, the sound of her name rolling off his tongue sending chills down her spine.
"Yeah?" She answered, looking over her shoulder at him.
"How are you? Really?"
Fucked up over you.
That was how she really was. She couldn't eat right. Couldn't sleep right. Couldn't even fucking breathe right.
What the fuck was he expecting to hear?
"I'm fine. Really" she lied, trying her best not to give herself away with her ever so slightly wavering voice.
And then she had left.
After placing the kids in the baby car seat at the back of the car and occupying Zeniyah with a toy, struggling to fit the baby stroller in the trunk, with of course no help from Evan, she finally clambered into the front seat.
"Ice cream?" Evan asked.
"Yes please"
××
and that, my dear friends, is the end of this book🤍
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