Cersei, Jaime & Tyrion Lannister, Joffrey Baratheon, Ramsay (PS. Fool's Mistake)

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WARNING: abuse of power, morally ambiguous reader, strong and bloody violence, reference to vomiting, poison, alcoholism, mentions of physical torture, arranged marriage.

A.N. - This isn't even remotely a cartoon, but I had a sudden interest and decided to break my own rule.

Despite the sweltering gaze of the sun bearing down upon the city, black robes swathed your body, gloves buried your hands and an iron mask starting from the forehead and stretching down to the chin hid your entire face

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Despite the sweltering gaze of the sun bearing down upon the city, black robes swathed your body, gloves buried your hands and an iron mask starting from the forehead and stretching down to the chin hid your entire face. No part of you was exposed to the air that smelt of flowers and gold the closer one came to the Red Keep and stunk more of trash and illness when nearing Flea Bottom.

"Northerners," a guard had muttered when you stepped off the wooden ship at the docks, and Jaime Lannister wondered how you had evaded the lure of a heat stroke.

The Kingslayer escorted you to the imperial castle that rose above the rest of the city, the majesty and cleanliness of the streets and people in them increasing the longer you approached it. What began as peasants in rags searching their pockets for enough coppers to purchase a meal evolved into lords adorned with rings and silk robes discussing the affairs of the realm.

When the gates of the Red Keep closed behind you, it was as if you had entered a separate world.

Schemes hatched in dark corners replaced the cries of civilians as they were robbed or attacked, and the patter of handmaidens running to service their lords and ladies replaced the turning of wagon wheels and the braying of mules. The thick armour surrounding Jaime rattled as he led you to an empty bedroom. "My sister and the king have opened this chamber to you for lodging."

The knight held the door open, but your attention was diverted to the sight of a man and a woman in Lannister red idling outside another room further down the corridor. After pausing to stare in a momentary panic, the man waved at you and shouted, "Cousin!" His expression darkened to one of distaste before he hurried to enter the chamber with his fiancée.

Jaime released a sound like a combination of a chuckle and a scoff, his eyes travelling to the back of your head. "I suppose that makes us cousins, too." He pushed the door towards the wall to ensure that it would not close on you and stepped into the centre of the corridor. "People have been asking your kin about the mysterious sorcerer in the family." The amusement filling his tone was clear on his face, and he slowly walked backwards with the palm of his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

"Why don't you rub elbows with a few of them?"

After a few minutes of traipsing the corridors and never straying too far from you and your cousin's chambers, a dwarfish man emerged from the kitchens with a bottle of red wine. He had popped the cork with a thrust of his thumb and was raising the drink to his lips when your appearance gave him pause. Dismay bloomed on his face as if he were looking at what he was certain would bring his death, but once you remained still, he squinted.

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