Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 18

June 2015
**YOUR POV**
We didn't talk much on the way to my house. It was like neither of us knew how to feel around each other. We both knew something was up, we just didn't really know what it was specifically.
Sometimes, I caught him glancing at me as if he wanted to say something but decided not to every time he did that.

We eventually arrived in front of my gate, where my security guard stood, as usually.
Harry stopped opening the window on his side.

„Who are you?" The guard asked as he was told to, not noticing I was sitting next to Harry.

„Hi, I'm Harry Styles."

„I need to see your ID bef-."

„He's with me, Oliver." I leaned over so he could see me, letting out a laugh as I saw his face when he realized.

„Oh, I'll let you through. Hi Y/n."

„Hey Oliver." I chuckled, sitting back in my seat.

„At least your security is better than the ones you had a few years ago." He laughed and I knew exactly what he was thinking of.

A few years back, Harry and I went out for lunch to a restaurant in New York while we were on tour. We had four of my security guards with us. When we got out of the restaurant a huge crowd already gathered in front of it and there was no other way to get out, so we had to get through the crowd somehow.
Harry tried his best to protect me and hold me close to him since I had claustrophobia and was scared to pass out. Two of the security guards went through the people in front of us and two behind us, but the fans were just too strong somehow and managed to kind of tackle all of them so they were no where to be seen anymore. Harry and I had to try and get through all by ourselves. Luckily we made it and escaped without any problems, but it still made us laugh that my security didn't manage to get us through at all.

„Here we are." Harry's voice tore me out of my thoughts when he opened the passenger door for me to get out.

„Thank you." I slowly got out of the car, trying to be careful with my dress.

I looked at him when I stood in front of him, his eyes sparkling even more in the dark as the light of the street lamps reflected in his eyes.

He was ready to say goodbye to me and leave, but I didn't want him to leave already, I didn't want to be alone...

„Do you want to...come in for a tea?" I asked him silently, not sure if it was the right thing to say.

He certainly didn't expect me to ask this when I saw his lips curve into a smile.

„Yeah, I'd love that, thanks." He nodded.

„Follow me then." I said, leading him to my front door. I unlocked it and got in, Harry following me.

„It looks just like in the old days. You didn't change a thing." He looked around.

„Yeah, well there was no time to do that. Right after I got diagnosed again, I immediately had to get the treatment and needed to go to Seattle for that. I lived there during those two years and only came back a few months ago to LA and a few weeks ago, I came back here again." I explained, closing the door behind me while Harry carefully listened to what I said.
I saw how it hurt him every time I mentioned the past two years and how he still tried to hold back his tears.

„Oh, it was really not that long ago since you came back, huh?"

„No, everything is still kind of...sinking in, I guess." I told him. „But now, I'll make your tea. Before I do that though, I have to get out of those shoes or my feet will die."

He laughed, luckily he did. I hated to see him sad. I hated it so much and he was already sad enough because of me, I didn't want him to feel even sadder.

„Have a seat, I'll be right back with our teas." I told him, but realized he felt uncomfortable. He didn't know how to act, understandably. Of course he felt uncomfortable, what did I even think of inviting him in. My house probably brought back so much memories because of all the pictures of us two that still hung around on my walls.

„This is kind of weird, isn't it?" I sighed, letting out a nervous laugh.

„A little bit, yeah." He admitted also with a laugh.

„We know each other since we were babies, this was always your home too, so please don't feel uncomfortable around here and make yourself at home. This shouldn't be weird, it's just us."

„You're right, I'm just still thinking of all of this right now, I'm sorry." He breathed, smiling a little.

„Don't apologize, I understand...it's a lot to process for both of us. Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him.

He nodded slowly. „If it's okay?"

„It's okay." I assured him. „Have a seat now, I'll be back in a minute."

He nodded, walking towards the living room while I got to the kitchen preparing the tea. I made his favorite one, lemon and ginger tea.

I took the two hot cups with me, placing them on the couch table in between the two couches before I sat down on the couch on the other side, so I would face Harry.

„Thank you." He smiled.

„You're welcome." I leaned against the armrest. „As much as it will hurt me, I have to ask this. How have you been during all this time?"

„I uh... It was not easy, not at all. I felt unhappy for a long time and honestly, I never felt a hundred percent happy again. After you left, I was broken. I didn't want to leave my house ever again. I didn't want to go to work, singing didn't help either and writing...I wrote, but the songs are pretty hard to listen to for me..."

„Oh Harry..." I looked down on the floor. „I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

„No, I am sorry, I didn't realize something was wrong. I should have known and been there for you." He said, his voice trembling.

„I already told you you couldn't have. You wouldn't be where you are now and I couldn't have forgiven myself for that."

„You only did what you thought was best for me, like you always did and I'm thankful for that, but it still hurts to know what you went through all by yourself."

„It was my decision, I didn't have to, but I wanted to...now I'm here, so everything is...okay." I looked at his beautiful, but sad face.

„Yeah, I'm glad."

„Did you...did you find love again after I left? I told you to go on and live your life before I left...did you?" I asked him silently and scared of his answer. I was scared he found a person he loved even more than he loved me. It may sounds selfish, but this man was the love of my life and I couldn't imagine him being with another woman by his side. „Are you with someone?" I knew, I told him he needed to move on, but it was hard to think he really did and maybe forgot about me?