Chapter 50

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October 2015
**YOUR POV**
I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't hurt him anymore, he didn't deserve this in the slightest bit. I knew I broke him with this and I was tired of having to do this, because Harry was the sweetest person on earth and deserved nothing but love.

It made my heart ache, doing this to him once again, but now, I had enough and didn't care anymore of what I was allowed to do and what I wasn't.

Just as I tried to stop Harry as he walked away, I was held back by Mason. He gripped tight onto my wrist, pulled me away from following Harry. I watched as he got further and further away from me, not being able to chase him.

„Let me go Mason!" I huffed angrily at him.

„You can't followe him and you know that!" He looked scary.

„Let go of my wrist, you're hurting me!" I was getting louder, getting the attention of the crew members what made him lose his grip and start smiling disgustingly.

I took the chance and quickly got away from him, looking for Harry everywhere around the area backstage, but he wasn't anywhere to find and it made my pulse go up in fear. He never left just like that, it was not like him. He always waited and mostly was one of the last ones to leave.

„Where are you, Harry?" I whispered, pacing around the area.

I nervously ran around, not knowing where to look for him next, remembering how sad and broken he looked when I last saw him a few minutes ago. I remembered what the last thing was he said to me...

„I need to clear my head." I whispered to no one but myself. I looked around again, thinking of where he could have been. „I need to clear my head!" I said louder when I finally got what he meant.

I knew exactly where he was and with that thought in mind, I ran to my dressing room to get out of my fit and change into my casual clothes from earlier today. I grabbed my phone and keys and quickly left, heading towards where Harry would be.

Since I arrived at the stadium together with Harry, Paul was so nice to drive me to where I needed to go.

A few minutes of driving in the darkness, we eventually got there and I got out of the car, looking back at Paul and giving him a smile.

„Thank you for the ride, it was an emergency." I told him.

„No problem at all. If you need anything, call me." He said and I nodded, thanking him before he drove away.

I stood on the sidewalk and turned around to look at the empty beach in front of me. The moon was shining down on the sea and it was so calm, such a beautiful place.

I stepped on the sand, making my way further towards the water as I walked along the beach, trying to find Harry.
He had to be here, I knew he had to. He said he needed to clear his head. A sentence he said all the time when I was together with him and we had a fight or he wasn't feeling his best. And every time he said that, he came over here to the beach and just sit in the sand in front of the water, listening to the waves to forget everything.

The moon beautifully lightened up the whole beach.
I made my way through the sand, breathing in the fresh air as I closed my eyes.
Opening them again, I saw him and I felt a little less worried. I knew it, this was still his place to come to.

He sat in the sand, close to the water, his arms wrapped around his knees in front of him and his hair looking beautifully with the wind blowing it back and forth.
From the distance, I saw how he buried his head between his legs in front of him and I tried to get my shit together before I made my way over to him.

His back was facing me as I slowly walked towards him.

I took a deep breath as I was just a few meters away from him. I stopped walking and stood behind him before I started talking. „I don't wanna let you go..." I said a little bit louder so he could hear me over the blowing wind and the calming noise the waves made.

His head snapped up, not expecting I would find him here, but he didn't look back at me.

„What are you doing here?" His voice sounded raspier and with less energy than usual, what made me realize he had cried.
I wanted to cry too, seeing him like this.

„I was worried about you when I didn't find you..." I told him, slowly getting closer to him.
He still didn't look back at me. „And I wanted to tell you..." I took a deep breath. „Me too..."

„You too, what?" He finally turned around, looking up at me. His eyes were still filled with tears, one was slipping down his right cheek.

„I wish we could start this all over again too." I admitted.

Harry stood up, wiping the tears away as he came even closer to me. „You're in a relationship with Noah, Y/n. You are happy while I feel miserable for so long now, watching you going farther away from me every day. It's too late..." He said the last sentence in a low and almost silent voice. „Go home, Y/n." He said before he quickly walked away from me, along the beach.

I quickly followed him, not wanting him to get away. „That's not true and you know it's not!" I called louder, so he heard me. „You were right all along, Harry! You were the only one to have noticed it. Noah is not my boyfriend! He never was!" I finally let out the truth.

„Yeah right." He let out a pained laugh, still walking in front of me, not looking back. „You're just saying that to get me to talk to you-."

„No, I'm not!" I exclaimed. „It's always been you! I need you and you need me, that's how it always was." A tear escaped my eye and slipped down my cheek and that was when I knew I was ready to tell him, not giving a shit about the lies. „I love you, Harry!"

He finally stopped, making me almost run into him as he abruptly turned around, finally looking at me. He was just a few centimeters away from me, so incredibly close it was almost breathtaking. He had such a strong presence. Being around him was such a special feeling.

Normally I loved looking into his eyes, but I hated it when they were filled with tears of sadness and pain like they were now.

„You do?" He asked, lookin straight into my eyes, sounding a lot calmer than just a few seconds ago.

„I do..." I nodded. „I always have and I always will. I never stopped loving you." Tears were uncontrollably streaming down my face now. „I love you and everything about you. I love the way your nose moves when you talk, I love your beautiful and contagious smile that I didn't see in so long. I love everything about you, even your terrible jokes."

He laughed at that through his tears, making me smile a little. „You're my home, Harry...I need you." I continued. „Screw Noah, screw Mason, I'm in love with you...with Harry not anyone else." I stopped talking for a second to think about what to say next. „Love wins...always."

I whispered, so close to him, I didn't even realize we were both getting closer and closer to each other while looking deeply into each other's eyes until he placed his fingers unter my chin and leaned in, pressing his soft lips on mine. I placed my hand on the back of his neck, getting even closer to him to kiss back. It all felt so natural.

Our lips slowly parted again and I rested my left hand on his shoulder and my right one on his chest, feeling his heartbeat that made me cry more. I missed feeling it so much... I looked up at him, staring into his shiny eyes.

„I love you too, Y/n...I also never stopped." He wiped my tears away then smiled, causing me to burst out in tears again at how relieved I was. „More than anything else in the world." He said before pressing another powerful kiss on my lips, picking me up from the ground. I wrapped my arms around his body, holding tight onto him.

„I will never let you go again...I promise." I whispered into his ear before kissing him again.

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