Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 187

**HARRYS POV**
A few days later, the day Y/n most feared has come and she had to get her first chemo treatment at the hospital. The last few days have been really calm but nice for the two of us. We did some things and went to some places Y/n loved, because she knew she probably wouldn't be able to do that when her treatment would start as she would feel way too weak.

„You don't have to be in here if you don't want to, Harry. I know how much you hate needles and all."

„Are you kidding? I won't let you do this alone." I told her as she was sat in the chair at the hospital where she'd get the treatment in just a few minutes. I sat beside her, obviously keeping her company.

„God, I'm so scared even though I know exactly what it does to me afterwards." She sighed, rubbing her face.

„It is scary. You're allowed to feel that way, love." I sat beside her, running my fingers through her soft hair. „I'm gonna be here for you along everything."

She nodded with a small smile. „Thanks."

And that was when the nurses came in to set up the chemo she was gonna get.

„Alright Y/n, we're gonna set the needle into your port now. You're gonna feel a little pinch and maybe a little pressure, but only for a few seconds." The nurse explained with a soothing voice.

„Okay." Y/n nodded, looking for my hand with hers, which I instantly took in mine as I shifted closer to her so I could kiss her head and hopefully make her feel a little less nervous by whispering some soothing words in her ear.

„Ready?" The nurse asked and Y/n nodded. „Okay, take a deep breath, darling."

As the nurse inserted the needle, Y/n's grip on my hand tightened and she tensed up, pain tight across her face.

„You're doing so good, baby. It's over in a second." I whispered and kissed the top of her head.

„Okay, all done. You did great." The nurse smiled, rubbing Y/n's arm. „Now that's gonna last for about an hour. Press the call button if something's wrong or you need anything. Try to just relax a little. I know it's hard, but it will be more comfortable for you." She said.

„Okay, thank you." Y/n said silently and the nurse left the room.

As soon as she was gone and I turned back to her, she looked at me and tears started to run down her cheek.

„Oh honey, it's okay." I reached my hand up to wipe the tears away. „You're so strong, love."

„I hate this." She sighed, furrowing her brows as she was probably feeling the medicine entering her body.

„I know, baby. It's just four weeks though." I assured her, kissing her cheek.

„Thank you for being here, Harry." Y/n looked up at me.

„Hey of course I'm here with you. I wouldn't let you go through this alone." I brushed some strands of hair out of her face. „You're my wife, I'd do everything for you."

She smiled when I called her my wife, loving that I called her that.

„You know what? I shouldn't even say this because it's a surprise, but I just can't keep it in any longer." I eventually said to just keep her distracted from the chemo.

„What is it?" She wondered.

„Gemma is on a flight to LA to come see you and stay here for a while." I told her.

„Really? She's on her way right now?" Her eyes lit up.

„Yep." I nodded. „Don't tell her I told you though or she'll kill me. Just act surprised when you see her."

Y/n laughed a little. „I'll try my best."

„She should be at home later today." I looked at the time on my watch.

„That's great, I can't wait to see her again, but I'll most probably feel like absolute shit after this session, I won't even be able to enjoy her company."

„I'm sorry, love, but she won't leave for a while anyways. She's gonna be here with my mum to support you and be here for you." I told her.

„See, but now I feel bad, because they're putting their life on hold because of me. I don't want that."

„Hey that's not true. They're your family and they're gonna do everything to be there for you and help you in any way they can." I told her.

„I love them and thank them so much, but I just feel bad..."

„You don't have to, sweetie. You really don't." I assured her.

She just nodded.

„Talking of family...you don't have to say anything to this, but have you considered or do you wanna tell your mother about the cancer?" I asked her.

Y/n quickly shook her head no. „I never existed to them, so they don't exist to me anymore and besides, my mother would go around and tell the press every little detail of what's wrong."

„I understand that...but don't you even wanna tell your sister?"

„No, I really don't, H. They're not my family, never were. They left me and never cared about me, not even my sister." She said. „I don't want them in my life."

„Okay, I respect that." I nodded. „You've got the worlds best family anyways."

„That is true." She smiled.

I could tell with the hour going on, Y/n started to feel worse as she didn't really respond as much to what I was saying to her as a bit of a distraction and it hurt my heart so much seeing her feeling this way.

„Love? Should I call someone?" I asked gently, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand.

She shook her head no. „Don't please. I just feel really nauseous and cold."

„Okay, let me know if you need anything okay? I'm gonna grab you a blanket."

„No, stay, please. I don't wanna be alone. I don't need a blanket, it's fine." She held tight onto my hand.

„Okay, I'll stay, I'm here." I kissed her forehead. „Only ten more minutes and it's over." I sat closer to her so she could rest her head against my shoulder. „You're doing so good, my love. I love you so much."

„Love you too." She said silently.

After that hour finally passed and the 30 minutes waiting to see if Y/n was doing okay were over, I could finally take her back home. She was pale, obviously tired and drained, this first session already making her feel like shit.

As we got home, she laid down on the couch and my mum and I took care of her and everything she needed.

„How are you feeling, loevely?" I asked her, sitting down on the couch next to her and gave her the glass of water she asked for.

„Still so nauseous and my head is pounding." She took a sip of the water before she put it on the couch table and quickly got up to sprint to the bathroom where she enptied her stomach over the toilet bowl.
I quickly followed her, crouching down behind her and rubbed her back soothingly.

„Oh love, it's okay. Let it all out." I kept rubbing her back and held her hair until she let herself fall back into my lap, crying.

„I hate this so much, Harry." She sobbed.

„I know you do. I do too, sweetie. You're being so strong and brave. It's only for a couple of weeks until the surgery then it's over and you'll be okay." I assured her, holding her close to my chest in my arms as she kept crying and I tried to comfort and soothe her.

How the hell did we get to this point?
We were so happy, everything was going good until our whole world fell apart because of this.