Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 69

November 2015
**YOUR POV**
They all just came out of his room as I got there, their faces full of tears and eyes puffy, especially Gemma's.
It hurt me so much seeing them like this. I felt so guilty.

„Hey darling." Anne still tried to give me a smile, so did Gemma and Robin, but I knew that they were broken inside and Gemma probably the most. „I think we're gonna head home for now and come back tomorrow. The flight really took us out as well." Anne said, her voice soft.

„Hey guys, uhm yeah sure, I'll give you the key to my house. Just make yourself comfortable. You can have my room upstairs and the guest room downstairs. Everything should be ready for you." I told them, handing them one of the keys to my house.

„But Y/n, darling, where are you gonna sleep?" Anne asked, concerned.

„Oh don't worry about me, I have the couch and besides, I'm probably gonna spend the night here again." I explained silently.

„You're not gonna sleep on the couch in your own house." She shook her head.

„Anne, it's fine, you get the rooms, don't worry about me. Please." I assured her.

„Fine, if you insist." She tilted her head and looked at me concerned. „Have you eaten enough since it happened, Y/n? You're a bit pale, darling." She brushed the back of her warm hand over my cheek.

„Well I have eaten something, just not that much." I admitted.

„You need to take care of yourself, Y/n." Robin then said.

„I agree with him." Gemma and Anne both said.

„I know and I'm fine, really. I'm the last one to worry about."

„Alright then, but I'll keep an eye on you." Anne warned me, only trying to care about me and it honestly felt so good for once having someone truthfully care again, knowing that someone was there. Since my parents just left me, I never experienced it coming from them. They never showed me love, only always Anne and Robin did.

„Fine." I chuckled lightly.

She placed a hand on my arm, rubbing it lightly. „Are you sure you wanna stay here?"

I nodded. „Yeah, I'm sure. You go home and make yourself comfortable. Oh and here, take my car." I fished my car keys out of my pocket and handed them over. „I'll call one of the boys if I need a ride."

„Alright, get some rest okay?" Anne looked deep in my eyes, being very serious about it.

„I will." I promised.

„See you tomorrow, yeah?" Gemma looked at me.

„Yes, see you tomorrow." I repeated before they left.

Today somehow so much happened, but then still it didn't and I didn't even realize it was already 8 pm.

The first day of god knows how long Harry would be in a coma had gone by and it felt like the longest and most surreal day ever.

I sighed, hesitating for a second before I entered the scary room that smelled like disinfectant and just this hospital smell in general.

Hoping I'd never have to get used to entering this room and seeing Harry like this, I walked towards his bed, sitting down in the chair I spent the whole last night in, placing his hand in mine.
I shifted in my chair and got as close to him as I could.

„Hi Haz, I'm sorry I wasn't here almost all day. The boys and I needed to have some things done, but your family was here to keep you company instead. I'm here now though and I'm gonna stay here with you as long as I can. I love you...so very much." I silently talked to him and told him a bit about my day. „You know it's just so messed up somehow...the fact that it all happened during 'Right Now', because right now I really do wish you were here with me... I know you are here, your body is, but not YOU, the Harry I can talk to and I hate it so much. I hate that I can't do anything than wait and hope for you to get better and just wake up soon." Tears blurred my vision as they slowly fell down my cheeks onto the blanket of his bed.

„It's not your fault, not in the slightest." I gently ran my hand over his arm. „You know nurse Megan said I should sing to you, maybe that helps and the only song that instantly came to my mind was our song, 'Fight Song', what else?" I told him with a sad, little chuckle.

„I need you fight, okay?" I breathed deeply and as hard as it was for me, I started to sing the song for him, remembering all the special moments we had and memories we made from when we were little kids to now.

„This is my fight song...take back my life song...prove I'm alright song." I sang silently but still loud enough for him, my voice breaking now and then whenever my emotions overcame me. „My power's turned on, starting right now I'll be strong...I'll play my fight song and I don't really care if nobody else believes." I took a deep breath. „'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me." I finished and got up to kiss his cheek. „I love you and I miss you. Fight, Haz, fight and come back to us. Please. I need to see those shiny, green eyes again."

*

3 days.

Three days passed and nothing changed. Harry was still in a coma with no signs of him waking up any time soon. My heart was in pieces.
The best news we got were that he wasn't getting worse. Still, it hurt so much. It hurt not hearing his voice, not talking to him, not hearing his beautiful laugh, not looking into his gorgeous green eyes. It tore me apart.

I haven't left the hospital for more than a few hours a day. I spent the nights there with him, sticking to my promise. That was the least I could do.
Unfortunately, Robin had to travel back to Manchester because of work. It was hard to schedule his leave since we didn't know what was gonna happen with Harry.

So it was just Gemma, Anne and I.

I went home at some point in the evening to quickly shower and change clothes so I could go back to the hospital afterwards, but somehow found myself falling asleep on the couch after checking some of my emails on my laptop.

„Shit." I cursed to myself since I've totally lost track of time.

„Go to bed, honey." I heard Anne's soft voice from the kitchen.

„I need to go back to the hospital." I told her, yawning.

„What you need is sleep. You have been living at the hospital for the past few days. Stay the night here, love, please." She came over, sitting down next to me with two cups of tea in her hands.

„But I need to be with him, I-."

„Y/n." She interrupted me so she had my full attention. „He would want you to take care of yourself, you know that. He wouldn't mind if you spent the nights at home and not at the hospital."

I didn't say anything as she handed me my tea. I knew she was right. Harry wouldn't want me to tire myself out like that, but I just felt so guilty. I didn't want to leave him there all alone in that empty room that I decorated as much as I was allowed to.
I placed a picture of us two and a family picture from when we were little on his bedside table, together with a little teddy bear I got him and his favorite book I'd read to him now and then.

It wasn't a lot, but at least something.

So here I was, a little while later, laying in my own bed after days of spending at the hospital. My bed was so empty just with me in it. It was cold all on my own. Normally, Harry's body alone would radiate the warmth I needed and so desperately longed for, but that was just not possible and it tore me apart.

I buried my head in Harry's pillow, staining it with tears until I fell asleep.