Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 101

February 2016
**YOUR POV**
The next day, I was up early, so I let Harry sleep and quietly went down the stairs to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee as I noticed Anne sitting on the couch in the living room, reading through the newspaper.

"So I'm not the only one who's up this early?" I smiled at her and went to grab my coffee before I sat down in the recliner on the opposite of her. "Good morning."

"Morning, love." She smiled back. "I'm trying to get up earlier than I usually do at the moment, should be healthier."

"That for sure." I chuckled.

"Isn't Harry usually the early bird?" She asked me.

"He is normally, but ever since he had surgery, his back made him lots of trouble sleeping so whenever it doesn't, he tries to sleep a bit longer and I won't wake him up."

"Aw poor boy." She said. "But Y/n, I still wanna ask, how come you forget to take your pills so often? I know you and I know you're usually very strict in taking them. You never ever forget them."

"I don't know, I've felt kind of stressed out lately even though I really shouldn't be, looking at the fact tour is on hold and everything else as well. I've been working on signing with a new label since I've called quits with my old one and left Mason. I got a few offers, but I'm still waiting for a call of a specific one I'd really love to sign with, so that's probably why." I explained, sighing afterwards. "I really don't have any other explanation, but my doctor said I'd be done taking the medicine in a few weeks anyways."

„You should still take them until then though, Y/n." She looked at me seriously. „I understand you're stressed out, but you need to take care of yourself too for once and not always make sure everyone else is okay." She smiled a little bit.

I nodded. „You're right, I know. Harry told me that countless times as well."

„Listen to him, sweetheart." She said still with a smile on her face as she got up from the couch. „I'm gonna get ready now, see you later, okay?."

„Sure, see ya." I let everything Anne said go through my mind again and not just that, everything that's been going on in our lives and in my head.
I stood up to put my cup into the sink in the kitchen as suddenly all my emotions kind of overwhelmed me and tears filled my eyes that soon spilled and fell down my cheeks. My body started trembling hard and I tried to focus on breathing as I felt like I didn't get enough oxygen into my lungs. Probably imagination. I told myself and leaned against the sink.

„Good morning, baby." I jumped at the sudden sound of Harry's voice behind me.

„Fuck Harry, you scared me." I quickly wiped my tears away but my trembling voice gave my emotions away.

I didn't want to snap at him, I didn't know what to do, everything just came over me at the same time.

„I'm sorry. Y/n, what's wrong? Why are you crying? Are you okay?" He asked me and normally his voice would make me calm down, but this time, it just made me cry harder, my heart pounding fast in my chest and my body trembling like it did never before as I managed to turn around and face him, his face laced with concern. „Hey, hey, hey, baby, what's up?" He pulled me into his arms, rubbing my back soothingly as I cried into his chest.

„I don- I don't know...I just- everything is so overwhelming right now." My voice was trembling. „I'm sorry."

„Shhh, none of that. It's okay, it's gonna be okay, let it out."

It didn't get better though, only worse. My body was on its way to shut down. I felt like I couldn't breathe and couldn't move, the trembling got even worse and everything was spinning. „I- I can't breathe, Harry." I cried even more. „Everything's spinning. I- I can't move."

„Look at me, Y/n." He let go of me, only holding onto my upper arms so I could look him in the eyes. „Try to take deep breaths for me, okay?"

„I can- I can't." I shook my head, tears running down my cheeks like a waterfall. „What's happening, Harry? What- What's happening?" I cried, gripping his t- shirt tightly.

„You're having a panic attack, it's gonna be okay, baby. You're gonna be okay." He soothingly stroked my hair. „Come on, sit down. Sit down on the floor." He instructed,
Guiding me down, his mouth leaving a pained sound and a sharp inhale as he went down with me.

„No, your back." I tried to stop him, but he wouldn't let me.

„Shhh, it's okay, I'm fine, just breathe for me, love. You need to breathe." He said, kneeling down in front of me. I grabbed his hand, holding it tight while he kept telling me to keep breathing.

„You're gonna be okay, baby, it's gonna be fine." He whispered, stroking my hair again. „I'm here, I'm right here. Breathe for me please, deep breaths in and out. You can do it, princess."

As he realized it didn't help and I continued to panic, he sat down next to me, his back resting against the kitchen cabinets and with all the strength he had, he pulled me to him, so my back would rest against chis chest, his legs around my body and his arms wrapped around my waist while he rested his head on my shoulder. „Shhh, nothing's gonna happen. You're safe, you're okay, sweetie."

„Why- why am I feeling...like this?" I asked him, trying to breathe in between.

„You're overwhelmed and that feeling made you panic." He told me, almost whispering.

„I don't wanna feel like this, Harry." I cried.

„It'll fade soon, lovie. You're gonna be fine, you just need to breathe." He held me even tighter, stroking my hair with one hand.

„Please...don't tell Anne about this." I asked Harry quietly. „Or Gemma, or Robin."

„I won't, I promise." He whispered. „Are you feeling better?"

I nodded slowly. The crying didn't stop, but it was silent now, I could finally breathe and my body almost felt normal again.

„Do you wanna stand back up again?" He asked me.

„Yeah." I pushed myself off the ground and looked back at Harry who was clearly in pain, trying to get up.

„Fuck, no. Please no." He cursed under his breath. „Shit!"

„Oh god I'm so sorry, Harry this is all my fault."

„No, it's not, love." He assured me, his eyes shut, pressing his hand against his back. „Just moved the wrong way."

He lied, I knew he lied. It wasn't just that.

„Can you get up?" I crouched down in front of him.

He nodded, but I saw and knew it was rather a no. Before I could say anything though, he pushed himself off the floor, his face scrunched in pain as he let out short and quick breaths, leaning against the kitchen counter for a while before he looked back at me.

„Harry." I sighed, feeling so guilty.

„I'm fine, Y/n."

„You're in pain...because of me." I buried my face in my hands.

„I'm fine. It's not your fault." He assured me. „Are you feeling better, now?

„I guess." I shrugged my shoulders, not sure how I really felt though. "I don't know to be honest, it's a weird feeling. I feel so overwhelmed."

"Do you wanna get back in bed and just relax for the day, love?"

"That'd be nice, but Anne and-."

"Don't worry about them, I'll just tell them you're not feeling so well today which is true and they said they were gonna leave earlier than planned anyway."

"Okay then." I nodded, not wanting to say no to his offer and made my way towards our bedroom.

"Do you need anything?" Harry called after me.

"No, thank you." I turned to give him a small smile, one that was nowhere near real.

Why was I feeling like this? Why did I feel so overwhelmed and was about to cry again any second?